My gf cheated right on my birthday

[KristL]

This double shocking is making me reconsider the relationship and her remorse. I've been with my gf for almost 3 years and my birthday is on April 7. I had marriage in my mind for some time but she threw it all away.

 

Well to make a long story short, last way she nearly stood me up on my birthday but stop at 10:45 PM, when the day was practically over and the people were leaving. She got my present and apologized profusely and how her boss made her take a double shift. I believed her because it seemed real and I no where did it cross my mind that she would cheat on me, much less on an important day.

 

I found out she cheated last week but I didn't think it was on my b-day. She didn't want to answer the when question claiming that she didn't know exactly and that it would be too painful. This made me even more pissed off and after I kept insisting, I finally get the answer. It had to be that my last year's b-day party, the day she almost stood me up.

 

It had been a regular day, I might have maybe consider work it out but now I don't know. She has been in tears since then and is begging for another chance. Out of all the days in the year, why on my own damn b-day???

[aliveagain]

Friend, if she'll cheat on you on your birthday and before your married, guess what you can expect after your married? What will she be like in year 12 after things have cooled down a bit? The only way I would ever consider marriage with her is if she goes through intense independent counseling with someone that has experience in infidelity first. She would have to agree to a postnuptial agreement, one that gives you most of the assets if you divorce because of another infidelity. You have other choices.

[KristL]

Thank you for your kind words. I'll be breaking up with her by tomorrow.

 

Do you think I should do it via email or in person? While I really want to as I'll finally get my turn to throw it all in her face and what a garbage I've fallen in love with but not sure if it's even worth the time.

[salparadise]

Thank you for your kind words. I'll be breaking up with her by tomorrow.

 

Do you think I should do it via email or in person? While I really want to as I'll finally get my turn to throw it all in her face and what a garbage I've fallen in love with but not sure if it's even worth the time.

 

I was going to say face to face, but agree with Stephen that you shouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing you hurt and upset. Just go NC and block her from phone, text and social media. Let her figure out slowly that she's a zero.

[Woggle]

Dump her like she's toxic waste in the river.

[KristL]

I just unfriend her on facebook and took her out of my contact list. Right now I'm seeing 3 missed calls from her asking for forgiveness and that she'll do anything to fix it, how it was the biggest mistake in her life, etc.

 

I don't really care at this point. I'm totally disgusted but all I see in my mind of what possibly occured that day is the girl I once loved getting banged with some other person and telling him how it's my birthday but she'll show up later.:mad:

 

I'm going to answer once and tell her to get the hell out of my life and hang up next time she calls.

[crederer]

Sorry man. That's harsh stuff. Don't tell her jack, she doesn't deserve an explanation. You should probably call her mom or sister and bone them (that was a joke, trying to uplift your mood).

[crederer]

Too bad all the female haters here don't give the same exact hateful advice to women who have had the same thing done to them by men.

 

Get your misogyny under control dear.

 

Your "bitter" is showing.

[KristL]

You should probably call her mom or sister and bone them (that was a joke, trying to uplift your mood).

I like the sound of that and it would be cool if she had a sister but she's an only child and I'm not very close to her best friends.

You got me laughing.

 

So much for being a faithful guy and all I get is this in return. I feel like not even trying and just date around for a long while. I feel like giving up on finding a meaningful relationship and my dream of one day becoming a father as it's probably not worth it anymore.

[crederer]

Your bitter is showing again.

 

What "misogyny" and "double standards" are you referring to here? There was also no hateful advice., the guy's girl cheated on him and he's asking for advice on how to handle it. Whether it was a male or female I'm sure the advice would have been the same.

 

This isn't a battle of the sexes forum.

 

Wait men, having a penis=I hate you.

Edited September 2, 2013 by crederer

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Sorry you are hurting...but the best most effective revenge is to go completely dark.

 

Cut off all avenues to you. (Facebook, chats, text, phone) no explanation, nothing.

 

If you do something creepy then it becomes about your creepy action and not her slutty behavior. Keep your dignity.

 

You can tell people you broke up because she banged some random guy on your birthday if you want...but never say another word to HER. Directly or indirectly.

 

Let her own guilty feelings punish her.

 

My two cents

 

IIWII

[BeholdtheMan]

I just unfriend her on facebook and took her out of my contact list. Right now I'm seeing 3 missed calls from her asking for forgiveness and that she'll do anything to fix it, how it was the biggest mistake in her life, etc.

 

Don't even reply...it'll drive her crazy, trust me

 

Move on with your life, find another girl

[KristL]

Don't even reply...it'll drive her crazy, trust me

 

Move on with your life, find another girl

I did and told her to get the hell out of my life before hanging up. I know I shouldn't have said anything but I did. That'll be my last words to her. I won't be picking up the phone nor replying to any of her messages anymore.

[Woggle]

Are you kidding? Re read his post. Extremely hateful words. I agree with his idea but not the total extreme he takes it. If I posted that response on here about a guy there'd be 6 pages long of angry responses from men calling me an overreacter.

 

I wouldn't. Cheaters of either gender get no sympathy from me.

[Woggle]

Yeah Woggle you are not the typical guy on this love website.

 

I think I am. I don't see a bunch of men on here defending men who cheat.

[aliveagain]

Why has this thread become about gender, it should be about a spouse who was cheated on, cheating that took place on his birthday. If Kristl was a woman I would give the same advice, run. The best predictor of your future together is to look at your history, your past together.

[Simon Phoenix]

Too bad all the female haters here don't give the same exact hateful advice to women who have had the same thing done to them by men.

 

Get your misogyny under control dear.

 

Take a lap.

[Woggle]

Thread about a woman texting another guy, chatting to an ex = "shes the devil! incapable of having human relationships"

Thread about a man texting another girl, chatting to an ex = "calm down! youre being insecure!" "youre overreacting"

 

Thread about a girl cheating = "shes scum of the earth, a bitch to be ignored forever"

Thread about a man cheating = "not cool, but maybe you should have put out more" or "he'll do better with the next one"

 

Thread about a girl checking out another guy = "whore! she can NEVER be trusted"

Thread about a guy checking out another girl = "calm the f*** down guys will always look get over it"

 

Thread about a girl having a stripper at her bachelorette party = "not wife material such a slut"

Thread about a guy have a stripper at his bachelor party = "its tradition get over it" "theyre paid so no biggie they don't like you" "it doesn't matter as long as he still loves you at the end of the day"

 

Need I keep going? Please Woggle Ive been reading this website for years and while men might not always defend cheaters, they always have a plethora of much harsher statements for women than compared to men and much nicer more giving statements for men that do the same. I see it in almost every thread in the Cheating section I look at. Ive talked to many long time posters on this site and they stop responding to stuff they get so sick of seeing it (mostly women, because the men don't care of course)

 

I make harsh statements, but I don't give either sex more space than others. Def NOT true for the majority of men that post here, sorry

 

Reverse the genders and there are plenty of women who defend female cheaters. I have even heard some posters say it is simply a case of men getting a taste of their own medicine so why are only men called out for our bias?

 

I am against cheaters in general no matter what gender. If you want to sleep around with different people just stay single and do that. Don't lie to somebody who trusts you.

[crederer]

Red rover. Let's just cool off.

 

Your bitter is showing.

 

I re-read his orignal post as per your request.

 

I don't care if it was a male or female making this post, it's disgraceful what happened to him/her.

Edited September 4, 2013 by crederer

[emva07]

i'd say even better, block her number.

 

When exes want you back they stoop low, say mean things, guilt trip, etc.

If you block....you will never have to see any of this. Making it easier for you to move on faster.

[Darren Steez]

Stop the thread jacking, we're supposed to be helping the OP aren't we?

[jimmytwowheels]

Yes agreed, please don't turn this into a gender war. Cheating on both sides, just awful. I find female cheating awful, and male cheating 100 percent just as awful. As a man I have only experienced female cheating, but I recently worked with a disgusting excuse for a man who cheated systematically on his gf. This created a great deal of distrust between us.

 

Both sexes cheat. Neither is excusable. It's a situation by situation thing.

 

OP - move right along and find someone who will respect you. I wish you all the best

[shiro757]

Sounds to me like she's no good for you. You can find someone better.

[KristL]

Krist, update? Are you sticking to those guns?

I'm getting better as the days passed by. Though I can still be hurt about what she did, I didn't do anything to deserve it.

 

I'm not sure if this was right but I end up telling my family and friends about it.

[aliveagain]

I'm getting better as the days passed by. Though I can still be hurt about what she did, I didn't do anything to deserve it.

 

I'm not sure if this was right but I end up telling my family and friends about it.

 

You have a three year exclusive relationship with her and that's the birthday gift she gives you? She still smells of O/M but makes it to your place before the end of the night, friend, I'd tell anyone that asks. Nothing you did is causing her shame, she did that all by herself by choosing to be another mans dirt on your birthday. You kept your integrity by refusing to settle for a cheater, you deserve better. In the end the cheating becomes less important, what stands out is who she really is and how she handles boundaries.