My sister & BIL are ruining our family

[StillHurtin]

A year and half ago my H had an A while we were seperated. He had filed for D and I kicked him out of our home. Two months later our children and I moved back to my hometown where my family lives for support. About a month after we moved away my H called me and said he made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted us back. After a month or two of talking about our marriage, the A ect I decided to try to give our marriage another chance. Every holiday or birthdays when we have family get 2gethers my oldest sister (whom I am very close to) refuses to go b/c my H is there. She can't stand him for what he has done to me. Her H can't stand him either. They refuse to go anywhere my H maybe at. All my other family members (parents, siblings) have accepted H back into the family. They don't agree w/ what he did but they still forgave him, like I did. My mom is so torn up about this. Since Thanksgiving is almost here she told me that the holidays will never be the same again and that we are not the family we use to be (we always got 2gether for holidays). It hurts her so much my sister and bil are acting like this. She had tears in her eyes. Family is very important to my mom. We have always been a close family and now b/c of H's A my sister and bil refuse to attend any family get 2gethers. All my friends have told me it is her loss and if she wants to be this way let her, she needs to grow up and get over it. What can I possibly say to my mom to help ease the pain of what she is going through? It tears her apart my sister and bil refuse to go to family gatherings b/c of my H.

[Moose]

That's too bad about them. Someone needs to remind them that they aren't holier than thou. As a matter of fact, who's to say they don't have a worse skeleton in the closet?

 

I feel for you Mom. I really do. I think that to fix this, your Mom needs to approach your sister with it. Too often family would rather keep their mouths shut and go on like nothing is happening and that results in resentment, and what if's.

 

Or, corner you sister yourself. Explain to her how your mom feels. And what your Mom's wishes are. If anything, if she loves her mother, she'd at least humor her and act like everything's ok. They won't ever forgive your husband until they spend some more time together and see how sincere he is over his mistake.