Ellie-mc Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. When we first got together he'd just got out of a long relationship which fell apart due to the amount of weed he was smoking. He'd sought help for it and said he would only do it occasionally. He doesn't drink or go out much and I accepted this. We moved in together 6 months ago and he has gradually smoked more and more. Recently he's had difficulty paying me the full amount of rent he owes me because he earns less than I do but this was never an issue before. When we moved in together I looked forward to snuggling in bed together but he often stays up all night and smokes weed I'll come down in the morning And hell be asleep on the sofa. He also stays at his friends once a week, he never invites them to our flat which I find a bit strange. A couple of months ago I thought something was going on so I checked his emails and discovered 1 he paid 200 on eBay for a festival ticket he said a friend gave him for 100 2 he joined an dating site in January I felt foolish for checking as I shouldn't have gone into his private emails so I didn't say anything. Yesterday I checked them again and discovered he's joined another casual dating site last week!!!! I find he doesn't want to have sex as much as he used to either but I don't understand how he can stay up all night if he's so tired,? I know there are lots of posts like this but would appreciate what anyone can tell me I've never been in this position and I feel sick to the stomach that he's doing this. I logged on and he hasn't updated anything so why join? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Since you know his username I would set up your own account and hit on him. Lead him on slowly and see what he does. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 There's more than him cheating on you he's smoking more weed, not pulling his weight, probably more broke than usual because of all the money he spends on drugs. I'm more stunned wondering how much more does someone have to do to a person before they dump them? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Nobody's perfect, but I gotta be honest with you... a lot of people would terminate for one or two of the reasons you've given. So what is it that you're wondering about? Are you not certain that you deserve better? I think you need to step back, put attachment aside for a moment, and ask yourself if this is good enough, or if you're determined to make more of life. How does he fit the big picture? If he doesn't fit, and you're still not able to make the break, then you need to examine why that is. Maybe it's time to turn the page. emotionally withdrawn lack of sex/intimacy smoking too much finances/unable to pay rent lying about expenditure up all night/sleeping on sofa away overnight regularly (why?) on two dating/hookup sites Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 When we first got together he'd just got out of a long relationship which fell apart due to the amount of weed he was smoking. Dealbreaker. He'd sought help for it and said he would only do it occasionally.... Recently he's had difficulty paying me the full amount of rent he owes me because he earns less than I do but this was never an issue before. Dealbreaker. When we moved in together I looked forward to snuggling in bed together but he often stays up all night and smokes weed I'll come down in the morning And hell be asleep on the sofa. Dealbreaker. He also stays at his friends once a week, he never invites them to our flat which I find a bit strange. Dealbreaker. he joined an dating site in January...Yesterday I checked them again and discovered he's joined another casual dating site last week! Dealbreaker x2. I've never been in this position and I feel sick to the stomach that he's doing this. I logged on and he hasn't updated anything so why join? Dump him. He's a sponge, a drug addict, and is sexually impulsive (whether cheating or not yet... he will). I would be seriously concerned that he will get you arrested or give you an STI. There is no reason to investigate further... you don't want/need to know exactly how much of a terrible person he is. You're unhappy and he's a really bad choice of mate. Dump him, dump him, dump him. Allow yourself time to heal, get tested, and be around people who care about you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
It's Just Me Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 Sounds like an irresponsible loser who has chosen to avoid growing up and being a man. He's behaving like a 14 year-old, and has no interest in accountability. Time to throw the bum out. Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 If your partner joins a dating site, its time for a new partner. Move on from him, you're losing nothing and deserve much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts