Never Dealt With Anything Like This

[wildBlue]

I have been with my boyfriend for over two years. About 8 months into our relationship we took a break for 6 months, before getting back together. Last November my bf signed the lease for this apartment and within weeks asked me to move in. Since even before moving into this apartment his mother, who moved to FL while he was in high school, has been trying to get her son to move there. He expressed to me for many months that moving to FL wasn't something he wanted to do, and that he could not find a way to break that to his mother. Recently she has been planning her wedding and just got married which kept her off his case for a while.

My boyfriend and I have continued to make plans and move our lives forward where we live and have been looking at apartments in the area to move into when this lease is up in 2 months. We are a great couple in both of our opinions.

 

Just two weeks ago, my boyfriend received a call from his mother and grandfather (who also lives in FL) and was told the devastating news that the grandfathers health has begun to deteriorate and he has 6 months -1 year to live. His grandfather has made the offer to pay off my boyfriends vehicle (he owes about 1,400), all expenses related to breaking the lease as well as living expenses for the first 6 months my bf is living in FL (living in his house) because understandably, he wants to spend time with his grandson before he passes.

 

My boyfriend has had a very hard time with this decision. He has lived here his entire life and all the friends and family he knows (with the exception of these two who moved out of state) are here in TX. He has worked towards building a career with a retail pharmacy here. He feels guilty and like he cannot say no to his grandfathers offer. I am devastated and do not know what to tell him. He tells me that he doesn't want to leave me and that he feels like hes having to choose between his family and the woman he loves. He says he may move back after the 6 months is over and for that reason I do not feel he is making this decision so that he can be with his family, or because it's a good opportunity, but solely for the money.

 

I feel like anything I say will be taken as insensitive towards the situation. (Because that's what happened in my last post) And this is not my intention. My heart goes out to his family and I'm deeply sadden that my bf is in this position.

 

He did not ask me to move with him and when I finally asked why he said he wouldn't ask me to do that- to leave my entire life. I don't think he feels like me going too is an option because he will be living in his grandfathers home when he relocates.

 

Originally, his family wanted him to make this decision and be ready to move in two weeks. I was sick for days at the thought of the rug getting pulled from under me so abruptly (this is my home, I pay half the bills but I am not on the lease, I will not be able to stay in this apartment.) He told me he would not pay his half of the rent this month (literally on the 29th) because he was going to have to use it towards helping pay off his vehicle because apparently his grandfather is over reaching his budget with this offer. Finally, my boyfriend came to the decision that he needs more time here, to leave his job the right way and to say goodbye properly. He told me his mother argued with him about this. I do not think my boyfriend is being selfish in this request at all. Do you?

 

So, we're still living together for the next month or so. This is so difficult already. As much as I want to spend time with him before he leaves, I'm so hurt that he could even come to the decision to leave me. (I'm sorry if that is selfish). He acts normal when we're together- trying to cuddle with me and continuing to tell me how much he loves me. Its so hard. I don't know how to distance myself from someone who lives under the same roof as me. Being together is making it harder for me to come to grips with this.

 

I'm working on planning where I'm going to go, keep in mind that this has been my home and I had every intention of this being my home for the foreseeable future. I did not have a back up strategy (mistake).

 

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Have advice for me or my boyfriend? Thank you for reading