trying to get my wife to end a long standing swinger relationship

[bubbaganoosh]

For some reason, I think your taking this situation rather nonchalantly. Yeah my wife is mentally ill. Yeah she withholds sex when she gets mad. Yeah she is manipulative. Yeah she doesn't love me except for the money, house and all that stuff. So rather than doing something about it, you find her a guy to screw to shut her up and you get his wife.

 

Honestly, you have done absolutely nothing to find a cure for your festering marriage except make excuses.

 

Your an intelligent man. You have to be if your an engineer yet you choose to look the other way and let a mentally ill woman, your wife regress rather than get her the help she needs. Don't give me this crap that you can't do anything about it. Why in God's name do you think they have doctors.

 

If she's that bad, you can petition the court system to have her committed so she can get the help she needs and you as her husband have that responsibility to make sure she gets it. Truth be told you make men look bad with you attitude. Your as selfish as she is. You only concern is keeping her quiet by sexing up some guy and you getting you rock off with his wife rather than stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing. I really feel sorry for your children. They have a mentally ill mother through no fault of her own and a spineless father that chooses to look the other way and feels sorry for himself. Grow up and for once in your life, do the right thing and get her help. That's what a man and a husband would do.

[kennedy37]

For some reason, I think your taking this situation rather nonchalantly. Yeah my wife is mentally ill. Yeah she withholds sex when she gets mad. Yeah she is manipulative. Yeah she doesn't love me except for the money, house and all that stuff. So rather than doing something about it, you find her a guy to screw to shut her up and you get his wife.

 

Honestly, you have done absolutely nothing to find a cure for your festering marriage except make excuses.

 

Your an intelligent man. You have to be if your an engineer yet you choose to look the other way and let a mentally ill woman, your wife regress rather than get her the help she needs. Don't give me this crap that you can't do anything about it. Why in God's name do you think they have doctors.

 

If she's that bad, you can petition the court system to have her committed so she can get the help she needs and you as her husband have that responsibility to make sure she gets it. Truth be told you make men look bad with you attitude. Your as selfish as she is. You only concern is keeping her quiet by sexing up some guy and you getting you rock off with his wife rather than stepping up to the plate and doing the right thing. I really feel sorry for your children. They have a mentally ill mother through no fault of her own and a spineless father that chooses to look the other way and feels sorry for himself. Grow up and for once in your life, do the right thing and get her help. That's what a man and a husband would do.

 

I completely understand your point , but I do not think you have any experience with dealing with a Bi-Polar Schizophrenic Narcissist , they flat out don't give a damn what we say or you say or what I say. The more you try and be a man or strong arm them the more they will rebel . They commit murders without remorse every single day . The children are very happy , they are too young to understand , there is no yelling or screaming . And you can provide Nannies , house keepers and special ed teachers to come in , at least I do . I told her to stop seeing her lover and that we need to end this insanity , she said yes she would . time went by no response , then I got a hold of her cell phone , in one months time she had sent him over 7,000 messages to him , she swore she had stopped . When I confronted her , she grabbed a knife and screamed at me . slit my hand trying to stop her , thank god the children were not there . Then she began sleeping in a different bed , for 2 years she slept in a different bed having conversations at night with her lover. That was her revenge for me . They have multiple Personalities , they are really really crazy and really really revengeful . You do not take them lightly . But they pick their targets and use a weapon of choice . Hitler , Stalin and Mussolini were all Narcissist , Bi-polar , and schizophrenic , Murder meant nothing to them . I have a live in House maid that helps watch her . Millions of Americans have serous mental problems , people have no idea . But I did not know the official diagnosis until I had her fully tested and in a institution for a month . She ran up a 27,000 dollar credit card bill out of revenge . I had to pay it off or loose my job . Oh yes I am a man , but you are right I am not having any progress . Putting her away for good may eventually be an option , but it is for her Psychiatrist to make that choice not me . She applied for mental disability and it was immediately approved . If my boss found out I would loose my job . her lover does not know she is mentally disabled , and no one else knows . She is not stupid ,she is very intelligent , you fear going to sleep because you may not wake up or feel a sharp pain in your neck and the blood running down . But that is just thoughts , she has never came close to that except one time .

[smoky eyes]

I completely understand your point , but I do not think you have any experience with dealing with a Bi-Polar Schizophrenic Narcissist , they flat out don't give a damn what we say or you say or what I say. The more you try and be a man or strong arm them the more they will rebel . They commit murders without remorse every single day . The children are very happy , they are too young to understand , there is no yelling or screaming . And you can provide Nannies , house keepers and special ed teachers to come in , at least I do . I told her to stop seeing her lover and that we need to end this insanity , she said yes she would . time went by no response , then I got a hold of her cell phone , in one months time she had sent him over 7,000 messages to him , she swore she had stopped . When I confronted her , she grabbed a knife and screamed at me . slit my hand trying to stop her , thank god the children were not there . Then she began sleeping in a different bed , for 2 years she slept in a different bed having conversations at night with her lover. That was her revenge for me . They have multiple Personalities , they are really really crazy and really really revengeful . You do not take them lightly . But they pick their targets and use a weapon of choice . Hitler , Stalin and Mussolini were all Narcissist , Bi-polar , and schizophrenic , Murder meant nothing to them . I have a live in House maid that helps watch her . Millions of Americans have serous mental problems , people have no idea . But I did not know the official diagnosis until I had her fully tested and in a institution for a month . She ran up a 27,000 dollar credit card bill out of revenge . I had to pay it off or loose my job . Oh yes I am a man , but you are right I am not having any progress . Putting her away for good may eventually be an option , but it is for her Psychiatrist to make that choice not me . She applied for mental disability and it was immediately approved . If my boss found out I would loose my job . her lover does not know she is mentally disabled , and no one else knows . She is not stupid ,she is very intelligent , you fear going to sleep because you may not wake up or feel a sharp pain in your neck and the blood running down . But that is just thoughts , she has never came close to that except one time .

 

Ummm, if even half of that is true, you should be divorced, and she should be committed. And her credit cards should be deactivated. Jesus.

 

Look, I just spent a month living with a bipolar person. I know how that, unacknowledged and untreated, can poison the atmosphere, make you think you're the crazy one, and lead to violence but come on, man. This can't go on.

[bubbaganoosh]

Sorry I call this a big pile of bull s!@#. Just listening to you tells me she's not the only one that need help. All your doing is making excuses. if she won't stop seeing the OM then it's up to you to tell the other couple the truth and tell them that the little tryst that all of you have been enjoying is over. So far you have brought Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini in this but you still refuse to do anything about your wife's illness. Someday you might wake when she really goes off and someone really gets hurt. Maybe it won't be you but the nanny or the special ed teacher or one of your kids. Hope you can look in the mirror if it happens.

[Trimmer]

I completely understand your point , but I do not think you have any experience with dealing with a Bi-Polar Schizophrenic Narcissist , they flat out don't give a damn what we say or you say or what I say. The more you try and be a man or strong arm them the more they will rebel . They commit murders without remorse every single day . The children are very happy , they are too young to understand , there is no yelling or screaming . And you can provide Nannies , house keepers and special ed teachers to come in , at least I do . I told her to stop seeing her lover and that we need to end this insanity , she said yes she would . time went by no response , then I got a hold of her cell phone , in one months time she had sent him over 7,000 messages to him , she swore she had stopped . When I confronted her , she grabbed a knife and screamed at me . slit my hand trying to stop her , thank god the children were not there . Then she began sleeping in a different bed , for 2 years she slept in a different bed having conversations at night with her lover. That was her revenge for me . They have multiple Personalities , they are really really crazy and really really revengeful . You do not take them lightly . But they pick their targets and use a weapon of choice . Hitler , Stalin and Mussolini were all Narcissist , Bi-polar , and schizophrenic , Murder meant nothing to them . I have a live in House maid that helps watch her . Millions of Americans have serous mental problems , people have no idea . But I did not know the official diagnosis until I had her fully tested and in a institution for a month . She ran up a 27,000 dollar credit card bill out of revenge . I had to pay it off or loose my job . Oh yes I am a man , but you are right I am not having any progress . Putting her away for good may eventually be an option , but it is for her Psychiatrist to make that choice not me . She applied for mental disability and it was immediately approved . If my boss found out I would loose my job . her lover does not know she is mentally disabled , and no one else knows . She is not stupid ,she is very intelligent , you fear going to sleep because you may not wake up or feel a sharp pain in your neck and the blood running down . But that is just thoughts , she has never came close to that except one time .

OK now. Originally she was a bored wife who turned into a wonderful, amazing, more fun woman once the swinging arrangement was in place, and you were just worried about her falling in love with her outside partner. Now she's a bipolar, schizophrenic narcissist who you fear may stab you in the neck in your sleep on a whim.

 

So I have to say that through the course of your thread, this has developed into a bit more complex scenario than you described in your original post. And it sounds like anything we suggest is pretty much invalidated by the fact that we can't possibly know what it is like living with a murderous, insane, unstable, on-the-edge, bipolar schizophrenic narcissist. Honestly, it sounds like you're pretty much the closest thing to an expert here on your unique situation.

 

My only pertinent contribution is this: I would suggest that the swinging arrangement upon which you focused this thread is a relatively smaller problem in the big picture, and that focusing on that one element is like scraping a barnacle off the side of a boat with a rusted-out hull - it's not going to have much effect on the real, fundamental problem set, and it's only going to distract you from the bigger picture.

 

Given the complex texture of your situation that has gradually emerged through the thread, I don't think the swinging is really the foundation or primary cause of your current difficulties, and I don't think that ending the swinging is going to yield any significant relief either.

Edited September 4, 2013 by Trimmer

[kennedy37]

Ummm, if even half of that is true, you should be divorced, and she should be committed. And her credit cards should be deactivated. Jesus.

 

Look, I just spent a month living with a bipolar person. I know how that, unacknowledged and untreated, can poison the atmosphere, make you think you're the crazy one, and lead to violence but come on, man. This can't go on.

 

Things are progressing , I have found another second Psychiatrist and getting second opinions . The hard part is getting my wife to see him . I am very busy and work hard , maybe I am neglectful and use excuses . Bi polar itself is not bad , add in Schizophrenia and it makes everything worse . They can become very paranoid and hallucinate easy , it happens in an instant without warning .

 

I was hoping to find at least one person whom has experience with this more than I do . Only one has Miss Kyla . I do not expect men to understand .

[kennedy37]

Look, I think it is admirable that you want to stay for your kids and you want to help your wife. Unfortunately, you cannot help someone who does not want to be help themselves. If your wife refuses to have her illness treated and she doesn't care how the swinging is affecting your marriage, you have to decide if this is what you want your children to be exposed to. You may love your wife but she doesn't even love herself, much less her husband.

 

You deserve far better than this. I believe you know that you should not have to tolerate this nonsense, since you are thinking of the next woman in your life.

 

Some of the blame belongs to you since you are the one who allowed an open marriage and now you cannot handle the challenges that come with that kind of relationship. Couples underestimate the damage opening their marriage can do.

I just said something stupid I wrote down my Kyla , it is Nyla , so stupid of me

[MidwestUSA]

 

I was hoping to find at least one person whom has experience with this more than I do . Only one has Miss Kyla . I do not expect men to understand .

Seems to me you have men here telling you they have been in your shoes, what more could you ask for? No offense, Miss Kyla, hugs to you and thanks for your openness. (Nyla, I know )

[kennedy37]

Seems to me you have men here telling you they have been in your shoes, what more could you ask for? No offense, Miss Kyla, hugs to you and thanks for your openness. (Nyla, I know )

 

 

Yes they try and that is nice and I appreciate it .

[MidwestUSA]

Yes they try and that is nice and I appreciate it .

 

Yes, make my life look quite ordinary and boring. Good luck to you; I wouldn't have a clue where to turn.

 

 

The George Mitchell who just passed - the founder of your company? Caught the article online.

[kennedy37]

Look, I think it is admirable that you want to stay for your kids and you want to help your wife. Unfortunately, you cannot help someone who does not want to be help themselves. If your wife refuses to have her illness treated and she doesn't care how the swinging is affecting your marriage, you have to decide if this is what you want your children to be exposed to. You may love your wife but she doesn't even love herself, much less her husband.

 

You deserve far better than this. I believe you know that you should not have to tolerate this nonsense, since you are thinking of the next woman in your life.

 

Some of the blame belongs to you since you are the one who allowed an open marriage and now you cannot handle the challenges that come with that kind of relationship. Couples underestimate the damage opening their marriage can do.

 

One thing I learned , living with someone whom has a mental disorder is far different than reading about it or learning about it in a class room setting . and until you understand how it is affect yourself then you have no idea . I began doing some really stupid things not knowing anything was truly going on. And I am not the only one .

 

I have been to group therapy here in North Houston many times , actually my wife's Psychiatrist conducts the meetings , so at times it can be better than one on one . One thing i learned is no body actually tells the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth . It takes time to understand things how it affects the person living with the ill person and everything about it .

[aliveagain]

Your an adult, you can make choices, you can stop this anytime. Why are you staying in a relationship and lifestyle that is totally dependent on the owners son being able to bang your wife? Is she your wife or just a tool to get what you want?

[kennedy37]

Yes, make my life look quite ordinary and boring. Good luck to you; I wouldn't have a clue where to turn.

 

 

The George Mitchell who just passed - the founder of your company? Caught the article online.

No George did not found the company , actually the company has its third owner , I work for owner . What George did was basically crack the code of physics to make Hydraulic Frac'ing pheasable and actually work . Improvements are constantly ongoing , new technologies and ways to make sure nothing bad happens to the aquafirs are continuous . The rest is pure Political Control by the liberals .

 

Frac'ing is not possible without advancements in horizontal Drilling , one well can be used kind of like a spider web of take offs therefore minimizing cost and environmental impact . Our company manufactures special equipment needed for Horizontal Drilling , we are the world leader in this technology and are licenced by those that hold the patents . We do not own the patents .

 

Still the entire world wants our technology , Texas has world class Engineers many with PHD's in Reservoir drilling Technology . All the rest is Politics . I am nothing compared to these guys .

[kennedy37]

Your an adult, you can make choices, you can stop this anytime. Why are you staying in a relationship and lifestyle that is totally dependent on the owners son being able to bang your wife? Is she your wife or just a tool to get what you want?

 

No my wife is not a tool and there is much I am not telling you for obvious reasons . I only indulge in the life style occasionally when I am about to go crazy and went without sex for months . She is different and in love with her lover . I have basically stopped 90% of my activities almost 2 years ago , for for about 2 years was guilty as anyone . Now I regret it so much.

 

I am totally guilty of starting this and I must find a way to finish it and still save my marriage and save my wife from utter destruction . It is hard to do .

[kennedy37]

Yes, make my life look quite ordinary and boring. Good luck to you; I wouldn't have a clue where to turn.

 

 

The George Mitchell who just passed - the founder of your company? Caught the article online.

 

The only reason Hydraulic Frac'ing is allowed to happen here in America is because land owners also typically own mineral royalties under ground . Also there is a pipeline infrastructure in place allowing clean and easy transportation of products to market .

 

These two simple things that does not happen in most places in Europe , Africa or even Asia , Pipe infrastructures are nothing compared to ours in other places in the world and Socialist Nations do not allow ownership of under ground hydrocarbons . the only exception is China and Russia and even those countries pale in comparison to ours based on Population . They don't allow ownership , but do allow Harvesting of Hydrocarbons . In a socialist nation the resources are supposed to be property of all the people, but it is the property of the Government .

 

so the ruling socialist Hybrid dictatorships are controlled by fossil fuel haters , will never allow pipe lines and never allow ownership of Royalties by the common citizen . Notice 90% of Federal land is Off limits to hydrocarbon Harvesting , It is their way of controlling us . They would love to rip out the pipe line system and take away royalties ownership to the common person .

 

When the politicians finally see a way to get filthy rich from fossil fuels then they will begin to modify Data to make it all look good . People have no idea they are being used

[CarrieT]

Just as an aside, please be careful about how much personal information you provide on these forums...

 

With what you have already provided about your job, location, and first names, I have figured out who all the principals in this little Den of Sex are and others could easily do the same.

 

I know you came here for help, but a bit more discretion might be warranted.

[MidwestUSA]

Just as an aside, please be careful about how much personal information you provide on these forums...

 

With what you have already provided about your job, location, and first names, I have figured out who all the principals in this little Den of Sex are and others could easily do the same.

 

I know you came here for help, but a bit more discretion might be warranted.

 

Tis what I was hinting at with the reference to George Mitchell. He left ten kids behind, seven of them sons, all named in the obit. Thanks, Carrie.

[kennedy37]

Tis what I was hinting at with the reference to George Mitchell. He left ten kids behind, seven of them sons, all named in the obit. Thanks, Carrie.

Gosh you guys are brilliant , but you are right also , I did give out too much info . I am no relation to anyone I have ever worked for , and will never intentionally hurt my employer , he has no idea his sons are into swinging , he probably would faint or be very upset if he found out .

 

you guys mean well and I appreciate it so much , thanks

[MidwestUSA]

Gosh you guys are brilliant , but you are right also , I did give out too much info . I am no relation to anyone I have ever worked for , and will never intentionally hurt my employer , he has no idea his sons are into swinging , he probably would faint or be very upset if he found out .

 

you guys mean well and I appreciate it so much , thanks

 

Yea, just be careful. You have quite enough going on in your life as is (that's putting it lightly!)

[aliveagain]

I don't understand. You say your wife is 32, her lover is 5 years younger than her which makes him 27. You said he is the son of the owner, the owner, his father just died at 92 in July, his mother died in 2009 at the age of 87 which would have made her 91 this year. That means his mother would have been 64 when she had him. Can you clear this up, do you mean the grandson of the owner? You live in the same neighborhood, he's a neighbor?

 

Why have you not told her Doctor the truth about what's going on, why don't you ask him to help you. No one here is qualified to help you with that kind of problem. I lived with a full blown, hate you for life, never forget, blamed me for every problem in her life and then some, BPD for 4 years. You need help with this. If her lover threatens to fire you or she has him threaten you, keep a record of everything, carry a voice activated recorder on you at all times. You may have to protect yourself by telling him you go public with all your evidence(emails between them). Hope you saved them?

[kennedy37]

I don't understand. You say your wife is 32, her lover is 5 years younger than her which makes him 27. You said he is the son of the owner, the owner, his father just died at 92 in July, his mother died in 2009 at the age of 87 which would have made her 91 this year. That means his mother would have been 64 when she had him. Can you clear this up, do you mean the grandson of the owner? You live in the same neighborhood, he's a neighbor?

 

Why have you not told her Doctor the truth about what's going on, why don't you ask him to help you. No one here is qualified to help you with that kind of problem. I lived with a full blown, hate you for life, never forget, blamed me for every problem in her life and then some, BPD for 4 years. You need help with this. If her lover threatens to fire you or she has him threaten you, keep a record of everything, carry a voice activated recorder on you at all times. You may have to protect yourself by telling him you go public with all your evidence(emails between them). Hope you saved them?

 

No these guys got it wrong , George Mitchell did at 94 , and my employer is no relation to him , but they were friends . George had hundreds and hundreds of wealthy friends .

 

I did not tell the Doctor about my wife cutting my hand , because she would have put her into a mental clinic . I told her I cut it on home projects , that was 2 years ago . I actually grabbed the blade and should have grabbed her wrist she pulled on it slicing my hand badly . She cried and cried about it .

 

I think my wifes love is getting tired of her , he has other women he can screw .

[kennedy37]

Because he's an engineer. Engineers don't think like regular people. If there's a problem then you fix it in a way that it is structurally safe and cost efficient. Letting the wife screw her way into the nut hose is probably cheaper than divorcing her. No doubt if he gets her the help she'll leave his ass and take him for a financial ride of his life so it's easier for him to have a crazy wife with a vagina that's swings in the breeze. It's also the chicken sh#@ way to do things. All in all his wallet is more secure this way. That's why he's so "matter in fact" with all of this. Pathetic.

 

You got it , you now know my plan . Divorcing her is 10 times more expensive than allowing her to screw her brains out with a man that later will dump her when he finds another hot retarded woman . He will eventually get tired of her . No he is not the son of even the son of George Mitchell . He is the son of the son of another Oil tycoon that uses people and then lets them go . My ride in fame will not last long and he will find another Engineer , they always do . I am on my 2nd owner , I just accept whom ever owns the business I will work for them .

 

For guys like me it is pure logic , divorce her I loose half of everything plus pay spouse support and medical for the rest of my life because she is bi-polar , stick around and play her game and let her screw her brains out , she does not have much anyway . Men use other men to make money , I know I am being used , so what , at least I am being paid for it . Many are used and never paid for it . It is a dog eat dog world . This is my first time being President of a company , though it is nothing compared to other men like me whom are making millions . So this is a stepping stone for me , so let them have their fun with her .

 

The guys wife is a bi sexual woman , not telling what is going on . I suspect girl on girl . I do not want to hear about it or see or for her to talk about it , just have your fun . This gives me time to hid money from our divorce . I hit the one mil Mark 3 yrs ago , about to go past my second , it feels

sweet to me , even my dad would be proud . I happened to marry a sycho bitch that turned out to be over sexed .

 

The wealthy son thinks he is having his fun and using my wife ,, let him screw her brains out , I don't care . Better than many jobs I have had

[kennedy37]

Tis what I was hinting at with the reference to George Mitchell. He left ten kids behind, seven of them sons, all named in the obit. Thanks, Carrie.

 

George Mitchell was a brilliant business man , he also started the planned community where I live called the Woodands Tx. 3 BMW's setting in every drive way , Engineers everywhere you look, they are a dime a dozen . Exxon is building a 12,000 person building complex . 26,000 new jobs coming to the Woodlands tx.

 

Contract after Contract for Hydraulic Fracturing , Israel , China , Brazil , Poland , Mexico , Japan , etc etc .

 

he was much more than an oil man , he was a community developer , a business Genius .

[kennedy37]

Ok here is what happened , going back about 4 years ago I was invited to a party that would announce who bought the company I was working for. I run just one part of the umbrella company , they split these companies up to minimize taxes . Anyway a Billionaire bought out several companies , you know his name but I can never mention it . I learned at that party whom will be my new boss , I met his son there . His son was impressed by my wife whom flirted with everyone there . My wife was getting embarrassing and out of control like she always does . Anyway we were invited to the party , it turned out to be a party that led to a swinger party .

 

From that party we took a ride to another party which was a sex party . I did not want to be part of that but my wife did . She gave him her phone number and said lets do things privately . About 2 weeks later we went to his home , swinging was offered , I said I am not an exhibitionist , It is OK if condoms are used and we use separate room in private . My wife said yes and so did his wife . I had already had a vasectomy but used a condom anyway . It was an all night sex party . He adored my wife whom adored him . He was the son of my new boss, and said keep this private from his father and I did .

 

I was promoted from Vice President to President in a month . I fly or drive to 4 states taking care of problems with expensive directional drilling equipment . I am gone about 60 percent of the time . For 2 years the swing thing grew and my wife loved it . . It was only when I saw she was totally obsessed that it was time to quit . Wealthy people make decisions based on favorably, I knew his son would make sure I kept my job if he screwed my wife . She never cared for sex with me , so I was going to make the best of the crazy situation .

 

At least I am paid well , and have a position that will go down in my resume' . Quietly another man wants to hire me , but I must keep it quiet , I will make even more money and then finally I can rid myself of this insanity . the World of Engineering is totally different than your everyday work environment .

Edited September 5, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Deleted post quoted redacted.

[kennedy37]

Yes, make my life look quite ordinary and boring. Good luck to you; I wouldn't have a clue where to turn.

 

 

The George Mitchell who just passed - the founder of your company? Caught the article online.

 

The world of big Politics , Hollywood , big companies , rich rich people is totally different than most people can imagine . they can do what they want because of political clout , or money , or fame . men screw other men's wives all the time , it is allowed to advance in the company . Sounds crazy as hell but it happens every single day .

 

No we are not boring nor do we live boring lives , but we can not do what we want to do , we must work for it . The extremely wealthy do things for manipulative reasons . So I am manipulating the son of my boss allowing him to screw my wife , so what . My wife really does not love me anyway , so there is no love loss . But outwardly I must show constant love for her . I don't abuse her, she is simply not a real person .

 

I am working on leaving this company in the next couple of years , but not now . I need to build up my resume' . Being President of a company looks good , even if it is a low level President job . My next job will be twice as big and the one after that twice as big as that one . All of this crap will be in the past .

 

Engineers become CEO's they are paid in the millions . I want to be a CEO one day , not a low level president , but I must pay my dues in life and step over each stone without falling . My wife will find another lover , she is still gorgeous , a drop dead knock out . because she is bi-polar Schizo it makes her sexually active much more than the average woman her age , just not with me . So in public I love my sweet wife