AlwaysGrowing Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I actually booked an appointment today to talk to someone because right now I really feel like nobody is hurt as long as they don't know. I feel like I'm in control right now but I know they can change and him finding out would break my heart for him and my kids. Right now I just tell myself it's helping me cope.. But this isn't who I ever wanted to be. The start of coping in a healthy way. Well done. As far as attraction, this is something to explore also. It might be rooted in your need to be used, and your husband does not treat you that way, he treats you with respect. You just might find, that you have many unhealthy coping mechanisms at play. I wish you well, on your path to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AutumnMoon Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) Thats what alot of people that cheat say. And it may be true as long as some requirements are met. One is that appearances at home and in bed with husband don't change. But I doubt, even if you said they don't, that you are acting exactly the same with husband as you did before you started cheating. I'm sure you think you act the same, but And two is that this all happens over lunch hours during the work week and you aren't taking time away from your family to be with him. Because if your attitude has changed and/or you find time to be with the OM during time that could be spent with family, then they are getting hurt, just in a different way. Then why not get a divorce? Surely he would benefit from the freedom to find someone that is sexually attracted to him, no? Oh I know I act differently to him. I judge him a lot more for not being here for me and the kids, I'm much quicker to anger..but I know this is me trying to get around the conflict I feel about lying to him. Our sex life has not changed, and I'm more focused and functioning better in work and parenting but yes my feelings about my husband have changed which is why if I could go back I never would have started the physical relationship. We've never been together when we were supposed to be with our family or kids. It's been late at night or funny but exactly what you said.. Lunch breaks. I do think about him way to much though. That in itself takes time away.. I'm not sexually attracted to my husband but he does not know that and I do love him and was once attracted to him and be hadn't changed.. So I'm the problem. Not him. Edited September 6, 2013 by AutumnMoon Link to post Share on other sites
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