Saying goodbye at end of trip sucks.

[Carenth]

For those who don't know I have been in a LD relationship for a little over a year and a half. In that time we have only managed to have two trips between us as we live on opposite sides of the world. I'm from Australia she is from Canada.

 

Anyway our second trip wrapped up yesterday it was really great. She met my friends and family they loved her and she liked them as well. I had some issues with work badgering me during my time off even though I told them I would be charging much higher than my normal rate if I was bothered during my time off.

 

It was a Murphys law situation if something was going to go wrong it did at my work. I helped them out a bit but I was very annoyed at being disturbed. I then proceeded to turn off my phone and not answer my emails for the rest of my trip.

 

Anyway she has gone back now it was very hard saying goodbye again. I'm back at work feeling really demotivated. Tons of crap to catch up on, need to talk with the company directors about stuff that happened while I was away. All I can think about is how long until I see her again. I have had my Visa to go work in Canada approved since May.

 

I'm planning is to move over in November however if I continue to feel this way I don't know if I can wait another few months. Also my work is starting to feel like a ball and chain they are just throwing more money at me and making me a linchpin in the businesses operations.

 

They are planning the future of the company around me being around and it's stressing me the hell out because I know I will be leaving in the very near future.

 

I'm hoping this is the post visit blues and it will fade in a few days but I'm feeling pretty **** at the moment.

[TMichaels]

I'm planning is to move over in November however if I continue to feel this way I don't know if I can wait another few months. Also my work is starting to feel like a ball and chain they are just throwing more money at me and making me a linchpin in the businesses operations.

 

They are planning the future of the company around me being around and it's stressing me the hell out because I know I will be leaving in the very near future.

 

I'm hoping this is the post visit blues and it will fade in a few days but I'm feeling pretty **** at the moment.

 

Glad to hear your visit went so well, Carenth. Look at it this way, even though work intervened, at least you know the connection between you and your g/f is as strong as ever which should affirm in your mind that uprooting yourself and your life and moving to Canada is still worth all the sacrifice.

 

As far as work goes, they may suspect that because of your g/f situation you may be thinking seriously about a move and that's why they are putting the pressure on to the point that someone else in your position would be tempted not to throw all of that away.

 

I know you've been postponing the move for as long as possible to save up enough money to fall back on when you get to Canada, but you may want to re-think that timeframe.

 

On one hand, that's only two month's time -- not long. But, on the other, you ought to think about giving your current employer at least one month's notice.

 

So, instead of concentrating on how bad you feel, why not think about the fact you only need to stick it out for another month before you let the cat out of the bag?

 

I'm betting, once you've finally told your employer you're leaving you'll feel a great sense of relief and excitement as it will make the whole thing about moving and being with your g/f more real.

 

Besides, you know time will absolutely fly while you try and wrap up loose ends that last month -- which means you only have four short weeks to get through before then. Surely, if you've made it a year-and-a-half already, you can endure just one month more.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Carenth]

No one at my work knows about the circumstances around my girlfriend. They know I have a girlfriend however as far as they are aware she lives in the city. I keep my private and business life separate especially in this scenario.

 

They didn't even know where I went for my holiday they assumed I was overseas somewhere. When I was in fact still in my home city.

 

I will be giving them one months notice when I've decided on the date I will be leaving. You are right I've managed to survive from November last year until 2 weeks ago without seeing her in person I don't think I could go that long again without seeing her again though. A few more months is ok then I think.

 

Just saying goodbye again was a lot more painful than last time and that was bad enough.

[TMichaels]

Just saying goodbye again was a lot more painful than last time and that was bad enough.

 

Understandable. However, there's one difference this time. It's the last time you have to say goodbye to her as soon you'll be with her in Canada. Right?

 

You have what many in LDRs don't -- the knowledge that you know when you'll next see each other AND an end-date to being apart.

 

So given that, you ought to be thrilled about lies ahead and not wallowing in the interim. Whether you see your situation as a glass half-full or half-empty is up to you, but personally I think you should be counting your blessings and spending your energy moving full steam ahead toward living your dream and hard-won goal.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Els]

It sure does, Carenth, it sure does.

 

Like I've said to Jaclyn, the first few days are always the most painful. Don't extrapolate how you're feeling now, to how you'll be feeling all the way over to November. Which, btw, (look on the bright side!) is only a couple of months away.

 

IMO you have invested so much in this, it would be a pity to let go now when you are so close to your goal, because of some very normal post-visit blues.

 

Chin up, do something to pamper yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

[CherryT]

I completely agree... it does suck, badly. And I see my SO much more often than you... so kudo's on your two for keeping it strong.

 

I'm in a similar boat... know roughly of when I'll be moving - still haven't done the visa's yet. We have a lot of logistics to sort out with my properties and business and legal mumbo jumbo, but it'll happen within the next year.

 

I go through phases right after a visit where I just want to put in my resignation, go home, pack and leave. Just know that it's around the corner

[Carenth]

Just an update I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm guessing just post trip blues I'm quite excited and am making plans for the move. Not looking forward to telling my work i'll be leaving but I will deal with that when it comes. My family and friends have been really supportive and think we make a great couple.

 

Just a few more months and I'll be over there guess I'll be having my first white christmas (hopefully?).