Why would he intentionally enjoy trying to get a rise out of me and make me jealous?

[CarolineVegas]

Can someone explain this behavior to me? My man does little things that lately just digust me and make my skin crawl - I'm beginning to just get repulsed by him. Here's what he does.

 

He tries to make me jealous by saying things like "Yea, this girl at work was telling me about her boyfriend and how they're having problems". He's a truck driver - he's never in the office long enough to talk to girls but yet he has to tell me something like this. Or we'll be at the grocery store and I'll pick out a head of lettuce and put it in the basket and he'll pick it up and look at it and put it back and pick one he wants.

 

He'll change the tv and if something stupid like Howard Stern is on with girls doing something vulgar - he'll pause and watch it intentionally with little respect for me being in the same room and that I'm a woman and don't enjoy watching toilet tv.

 

We recently went hunting together and I shot a trophy. He took his video camera and supposedly was videotaping me but then when we got back to the camp he said "oops - this didn't film you". Well I had another person at the camp take photos of me and my trophy. After I got the photos developed I told him he should show them to his dad and the guys at the camp. He did not want to take those photos to show anyone and purposely left them on the counter. His father stopped by the house yesterday and before he got there I said "Show these to your dad".

 

He stood there on the counter with the photos right in front of him talking to his dad and he moved them out of the way.

 

Everytime we're talking and he's on his cell phone and if I start talking about something - suddenly he'll claim he can't hear me or he'll just hang up on me and then call me back and say his cell phone went dead (this never happens when HE is talking!).

 

I feel this is abusive. When I ask him why he does things like this - he calls me crazy. I'm not crazy - I think he intentionally tries to belittle me and make me feel insignificant.

 

When we first started dating he had bikini calendars and porn mags everywhere in his house (he's 46).

 

I thought that's fine if your 20-something and single but sheez, he's a grown man - ain't it time to act like an adult? Having that stuff around did not impress me.

 

I'm ready to call it quits because he is so narcisstic and so into himself. When he does pay attention to me he's either trying to make me jealous or cut me down.

 

Yet he tells me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, bought me a huge diamond engagement ring and tells me he'll always take care of me.

 

I'm like "Do you think I'm stupid?". I think he sends mixed messages on purpose and enjoys playing games. What pisses me off the most is when he tries to make me jealous then wants to make love. By then I'm so completely turned off - he just grosses me out.

[bluechocolate]

I think he sends mixed messages on purpose and enjoys playing games. What pisses me off the most is when he tries to make me jealous then wants to make love. By then I'm so completely turned off - he just grosses me out.

 

He is not the man for you. Leave him now.

[The_Analyzer]

Some people feel so crappy about themselves, they do or say whatever to someone else to make themselves feel superior. He has low-self esteem and is projecting that over on to you by saying and doing these things. Get out now, it will only get worse.

 

 

 

Just my 2 cents.

[Moose]

Well, since you two aren't married yet, I'd say talk to him to see if he's willing to change.....that is if your desire is to marry him. Otherwise, if you have any doubts whatsoever, send him packin'. Then, go to Church and find you a good honest man who knows how to treat a wife.

[binturong]

It sounds like he has no consideration for you and your feelings. That's not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[CarolineVegas]

Thanks everyone - I appreciate your responses and think all of you are 100% correct! I need to give him back his ring and find a better man who treats me with respect.

 

THANKS!