Where all do you meet with MM/MW/OM/OW?

[zum1]

Do you go out for movies or lunches?

 

Do you buy each other gifts?

 

 

Where do you have sex? His place? Your place? Hotel? Does place matters?

 

 

I am asking because we isn't used to meet for coffee or lunch. We used to do it at his place. He was not okay with hotels because of booking hassles and also may be cost. I was not comfortable at his place or my place as such .

 

Just wondered how it works for others.

[Goodbye]

My exMM was a long distance relationship. We would meet up in various cities for a few days at a time and stay at a hotel. I never went to his home and certainly would not have felt comfortable with that. We bought each other little gifts, nothing significant. I'm sure he was limited in what he could spend so his W wouldn't find out. Yuck.

[fanine]

I didn't know for about 9 months that my xMM was not quite as separated as he had told me at the beginning.

So for the entire time we acted like any normal couple really, did all the things you would usually do including going on holiday. The one thing I didn't do was stay at his place. He told me he shared with two others and there was a rule no overnight guests. That is pretty common in London in small flats. I knew where he lived as i a would often drop him back there in my car. Maybe I was naive but I was not suspicious about this at the time.

[bentleychic]

Lunch occasionally. I am a huge gift giver so I give them for whatever reason...or none. He's not a huge gift giver, but does for big holidays/celebrations.

 

We normally go to my house. Have done a motel a few times as well as a good friend's house that let me use it while she was working (when I didn't have my own place).

[Calcmag]

When he was MOM we used to meet in a hotel. We sometimes did lunch. We worked together so we had plenty of chat time during Mon-Fri anyway.

Then when he became just OM following his divorce, we met at his apartment which was great because I could keep some personal stuff there instead of hiding it in a bag in my car.

 

We never went to the marital home of each other. I wouldn't have been at all comfortable with that.

[wrinkledforhead]

Usually at his house or my house. He's stopped by my work to bring me a coffee, or have a sit and a drink and a chat, to look at the ocean. On a few occasions we've had lunch or dinner on the town, usually late at night when most people are sleeping, or places we know that no friends of ours frequent. We rented a hotel in the city once. He came back from a business trip a day early. We had a blast being able to be free from the constraints of secrecy.

 

We buy and give, make each other gifts frequently.

[Daisy2013]

I was really special. He'd call on his way home from work and we'd meet in our special place and I'd visit with him in his truck. He would never go public with me or rent a room, or go out of his way to inconvenience himself. Occasionally, he'd contact me when he was out and about on the weekend. He was kept on a tight rein and would have to answer for his whereabouts.

[Calcmag]

I was really special. He'd call on his way home from work and we'd meet in our special place and I'd visit with him in his truck. He would never go public with me or rent a room, or go out of his way to inconvenience himself. Occasionally, he'd contact me when he was out and about on the weekend. He was kept on a tight rein and would have to answer for his whereabouts.

 

Oh Daisy, this is horrible. Why do we let them treat us like that?

[Daisy2013]

Oh Daisy, this is horrible. Why do we let them treat us like that?

 

I fell in love and thought he was loving me the only way he could. He said he loved me. Thinking back, it was lust, obviously.

 

I've been married 15 years and have never felt like my H and I were one. He's a good guy, but I felt he never made me a priority. He is enmeshed with his family of origin, and they always come first. He is gone a lot just hanging out with them. No matter what I did, it never got better. He treated me "well" but I was lonely. He always said he didn't care what I did, I could have a life, when I would tell him how I felt. Although, I doubt he meant have an A.

 

So, 2 years ago, when ex-A partner came onto me me started telling me about the thoughts he was having and how unhappy he was and that he liked me, it was easy because we had worked together at church and been friends for 10 years. I was ripe. And I was wrong. Never again. I will live lonely forever before I step out again.

[LilGirlandOW]

For spending time together, We do coffee's, hiking, my place, various family members of his places, some cool little zoo's... mall... Our A is hidden less and less everyday. which screams dday, i know, lol... but at least it would result action.

 

We do gifts.

[GreySkyMorning]

I was really special. He'd call on his way home from work and we'd meet in our special place and I'd visit with him in his truck. He would never go public with me or rent a room, or go out of his way to inconvenience himself. Occasionally, he'd contact me when he was out and about on the weekend. He was kept on a tight rein and would have to answer for his whereabouts.

 

Oh Daisy....I'm so sorry. I'm right there with you though. Xmm was a truck driver and the majority of our meetings consisted of me driving to the truck stop when he was coming into town, riding with him to his drop off point, riding back to the truck stop and having sex there. A few times, he had fire department training near my house and he'd spend the night at my place. There were a few nights in a hotel at the beginning when he was on "overnight" runs through the area. And twice, he came up for job interviews. One time only in the whole two years, he went out of his way to come up and see me when he didnt already have to be in the area.

 

Giftwise, the first year on my birthday, he brought me a really nice set with a bottle of wine and two glasses in a basket. That was the only real gift he bought me. Wait, there was a couple sex toys he brought me.....imagine that.

 

I told him at the end that I just felt like his slut or whore. He insisted that wasnt the case. I was so "special" to him, meant so much to him, he loved me. What's it look like to you?

[happy stillmore]

The most romantic part of your post was the wine and picnic basket. You deserve so much more than truck stops. Now you know what you want, more than this!

[Speakingofwhich]

We had lunch or dinner & movie before going to a nice hotel, all his treat. He came to my house for the weekend sometimes. We live in separate cities. Once in a while we hiked. A couple of times he took me to work related parties in his city. Once we went to a concert. I met his closest friend when we went to a club and danced. One of our favorite things to do was to get in his car and drive not saying a lot, really, just absorbing each other. Looking back on it, I guess we went on dates. He sent flowers and gave nice gifts. I gave him some gifts but not nearly as many as he gave me. We took photos together (snapshots) which I still have.

[Calcmag]

I fell in love and thought he was loving me the only way he could. He said he loved me. Thinking back, it was lust, obviously.

 

I've been married 15 years and have never felt like my H and I were one. He's a good guy, but I felt he never made me a priority. He is enmeshed with his family of origin, and they always come first. He is gone a lot just hanging out with them. No matter what I did, it never got better. He treated me "well" but I was lonely. He always said he didn't care what I did, I could have a life, when I would tell him how I felt. Although, I doubt he meant have an A.

 

So, 2 years ago, when ex-A partner came onto me me started telling me about the thoughts he was having and how unhappy he was and that he liked me, it was easy because we had worked together at church and been friends for 10 years. I was ripe. And I was wrong. Never again. I will live lonely forever before I step out again.

 

A lot of your post resonates with me. I'd been married just a bit longer than you before I started my A. Similar feelings about my marriage too. I was ripe too and exMOM could sense that a mile off.

[maidai]

My situation was different. 18mnths seperated and going through a divorce when we met. We were together for 18mnths and lived and breathed and did everything like a normal out in the open couple. He worked shifts and the 3 nights he was off he stayed here. I often stayed at his when he worked early shifts. Neither of us wanted to give our own places up as we were having way to much fun living a life where every night was a date night and we both needed it. We went on holidays, days outs, concerts all normal. Both families including wife were aware with no issues. I always think that my situation shows that even 3 years down the line they go back even when knowingly VERY seperated and should serve as a warning to others.