Runaway Husband, MLC or what?

[kgregory922]

Where to begin ..

 

I could just say I think my husband is crazy and losing his freakin mind ..

 

There are so many complex components adding to his fire, his demons, his paranoia ...

 

Is it PTSD from military, a midlife crisis, personality disorder, Runaway husband .. Am I narcissist codependent? It's so confusing

 

My husband states that he is fighting to make it through whatever he is going through, an internal conflict.

 

He has made attempts to run ... secret cell phone, stashing money, P.O. Box, looking for apartments and so on ... I have found all these out through snooping in his email accounts ..

 

I have also confronted him about all of this .. He states that he is in a constant state of paranoia, intense irritability and confusion.

 

He tells me he isn't ready to do anything yet, yet is the word I don't like. He tells me that he has these feelings of running away, he packs some things then thinks about what he's doing and stops... he looks for an apartment...inquires about one...chooses one but does nothing else, he gets a prepaid cell phone (doesn't use it) ... just in case, same thing with the P.O. Box... he never picked up the keys for it. He is fighting the urge to RUN!

 

Here's where it get's bizarre ... He says he thinks we need some "space"..I spend the night at a friends Friday, he texts me, I don't respond. Saturday morning he texts me, asks what my plans for the day are and so on, I come home, we hang out and watch movies all day, have sex, he takes me out to dinner ... Sunday he takes me out for breakfast, we go to antique malls and go to the beach ... come home and have amazing sex. Monday he wakes me up with sex, Monday afternoon he turns into a dick.. he's irritable, quiet and distant. I leave and go to the movies, I come home, he's fine...

 

So what gives guys? Every time I give him space, pull away a little, he pulls me back ... after awhile he lets go again .. it's the Yo-yo effect.

 

I told him space would be good .. instead of running for an apartment, stay at a hotel a couple nights a week, I know he's stressed and the commute is exhausting (he works over an hour away) I'm fine with that. He can have space, I need space also, I understand the need.

 

I am just sooo confused, I never know if I should call him, text him, talk to him, touch him etc ...

 

What to do ... Help please??

[Mr. Lucky]

Well, I'll ask the obvious questions - is he seeing someone else? And does all this secrecy tie into his relationship with her?

 

As for PTSD, is he still active duty? How long since his last deployment and where was it?

 

Mr. Lucky

[2sunny]

Does he drink or use drugs? His inconsistent behavior looks like maybe he does...?

[KathyM]

I would be concerned about the prepaid cell phone. That, to me, sounds like he is or was planning to cheat on you. Keep an eye out for the signs of cheating. Moodiness can be one of them also, as is the prepaid cell phone. Some of the other signs of cheating include:

 

Being secretive about his whereabouts.

 

Keeping his cell phone turned off at times or not being reachable when he normally would be.

 

Having a questionable excuse for why he couldn't be reached.

 

Finding excuses to leave the house at night.

 

Coming home from work looking or smelling freshly showered.

 

There are several other signs of cheating that you can google, but I would be concerned as to why he got the prepaid phone if he already has a cell phone.