duelfeul Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 [font=courier new][/font][color=blue][/color] weird scenario but try to comprehend: I guess i can say i met this guy at a party of someone who i was sort of involved with at the time and kinda still am. this guy i just met barely made an effort to talk to me and i barely noticed him, but i guess i gave him my number and right when i walked out the door he texted me saying "i was a damn cool girl and we should hang out when i get back"(kinda already knowing i was seeing his friend) we started talking literally 24/7, it was actually mostly texting. then one weekend he decides to come see me at college and stay with me, at this time, it would have been the 3rd time we would have hung out with. (the 2nd time i went to his house for a party and didn't say a single word to him, for reasons i'm not quite sure of) Yeah i know, what was i thinking....letting some guy i barely knew stay with me in my dorm, well he came, and never called me to say he was here and he ended up staying with his friend at a frat without telling me.So later on that night, i get a text saying we should meet up. when i first saw him it was of course, awkward, but after a few pushes from our friends we ended up just holding (there was a little bit of kissing), each other the whole night. But then he left, then i left and i didn't hear from him since, his response to all my texts was that he was"sick"or "tired" for the all of the following week. So i waited a month, then i slowly started to text him, my feelings toward him and the way i talk to him have always been kinda on friendship/could possibly be more terms...so when i finally get the nerve to ask him what the hell did i do to make him stop talking to me, ...he says that he felt like he was REQUIRED to talk to me after he saw me and that things were getting too serious. I forgot to mention that after about 3 weeks of talking to me, he would say things like "i've never liked anyone this much before," and this one time i went home he flipped out because i couldn't see him and he said i was crazy and he was kidding himself and that things between us just wasn't meant to work out. this was all after 3 WEEKS of talking through texts and he was already "attached" to me. I just thought it was strange that he was all about me one day and then he just totally disregards me at other times. Me and this guy are kinda back to talking but with every relationship i have with guys, i tend to make things seem platonic btwn us even when they aren't just to make it easier to deal with meaning so i don't have to deal with it. but i have 2 other guys that i still am somewhat connected and attracted to even before i met him..would it be wrong if i were to date these guy without feeling guilty or ashamed? And do i have any obligations towards the texting guy? And is it just me or do you think this guy is kinda psycho, i mean he already feels like he has a relationship with someone he barely knows(me). I've actually only talked to him on the phone about 5 times. he gets all shy when i call him. i've never texted this much before it use to consume about 3/4 of my day! But now he's actually trying to be "intimate" with me through texts, is that alright? I mean can you really get close with someone through texting? Link to post Share on other sites
MelWell Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 i think i'm going to start a "text messages are evil" club... people think they can say anything they want on text since they don't have to look at you... this guy seemed like he was having fun and once it got to the face to face, it was too serious.. i think people need to take texts more seriously! are u still seeing someone? is it an open relationship - does he know you're seeing other people? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Stop texting or replying to him, if he wants to talk, he knows how to use a phone. Until then, don't weigh yourself down with an imaginary boyfriend that takes you out on text dates and has text sex with you. It's a texting mess! Make him communicate face to face, it's a total cop out. Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 He´s not realistic. Texting is fun, but this is a very very basic communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 It's still a form of communication, so is messaging each other and all the other not direct face to face or voice to voice things. It may seem like less of a direct contact but nonetheless it's still a form of communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Author duelfeul Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 You guys have good advice because it's exactly what i was thinking, this guy really doesn't take texting seriously. It's definitely true that people feel that they can say whatever they want with texts and expect that since they can't see the person then whatever they say doesn't have the same effect on them as other methods of communication. With me i get even more nervous with texting since you CAN"T tell what the other person is feeling. The "relationship" is open, i told him that being exclusive isn't really my thing right now and i asked him how he felt, he said that he liked to think i was all his but i'm single and i can do whatever i want. I agree that he did get strange when we did meet face to face, i guess this is something that won't outgrow or go further then a texting relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
babybear Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I have another question: Is texting cheating? Is it okay to say flirtatious things b/c they're over text and they demand no reply or recognition or anything like that? And you dont have to see them right away or look 'em in the eye as you text it? is it all fun and games, or to be taken seriously? I'm just totally curious. Bb Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by babybear I have another question: Is texting cheating? Is it okay to say flirtatious things b/c they're over text and they demand no reply or recognition or anything like that? And you dont have to see them right away or look 'em in the eye as you text it? is it all fun and games, or to be taken seriously? I'm just totally curious. Bb it can be taken serious or not, depending on who sends it to who and what they really mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe it can be taken serious or not, depending on who sends it to who and what they really mean. I totally concur. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 my bf for instance... the bar b!tches at his work text him and flirt all the time. Sure it is supposed to be innocent, but at the same time it is totally serious....being a chic you know the s*** B!tches pull. And yeah, it really pisses my off! why i am glad it costs at least 10 cents per text message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author duelfeul Posted November 30, 2004 Author Share Posted November 30, 2004 I think you can "cheat" while text messaging, your writing down the words so you obviously mean them, but i guess for some people it's just not the same For instance, I was on the phone with this guy, and i got a text message from someone else, stupid me i thought i could check it without hangin up on the dude, but i did, and then i got a text from him saying "i want you" i'll called him a minute later and he acted as though he never said anything. I don't get and i guess some people don't either. Link to post Share on other sites
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