feeling --BLAH!! HELP!!!!!!!

[Kit-Kat]

Okay guy's and gal's, I need some serious help!

 

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. It has been good, we have had our up's and down's just like everyone else. For the last few days I have been feeling really REALLY blah toward's him and our relationship. I don't really know how to describe the feeling.

 

For as long as I can remember I have alway's been there for him, alway's cared about him and his family (sister's, brother's) and it seem's like he was/is never there for me like I am/was for him. By nature I am a very caring and loving person, but I feel like I have nothing more to give of myself. I feel drained, frusturated, and tired. This has all happened in the last few day's, I don't know what brought on me feeling like this, and I am wondering if there is something wrong with me, or am I just seeing the relationship thru a different eye so to speak. I love him and I feel like I have put so much effort into this relationship that to just walk away would be quiting. Sorry this probably doesn't make sense I am just talking off the top of my head.

 

Any help or advice would be great!

[Quandary]

I was in a similar sit. My question to you... are you PMSing? (I ask because I would get all twisted when I was PMSing) If yes then let it pass and I am sure that your Blah feeling will too.

 

If not then you need to sit down and talk to him about it. A relationship is give and take it should be equal, this is really something you will need to figure out with your guy... You don't walk away until that is what you feel you should do.

 

Let me know about the PMS thing...

[Kit-Kat]

I was in a similar sit. My question to you... are you PMSing? (I ask because I would get all twisted when I was PMSing) If yes then let it pass and I am sure that your Blah feeling will too. If not then you need to sit down and talk to him about it. A relationship is give and take it should be equal, this is really something you will need to figure out with your guy... You don't walk away until that is what you feel you should do. Let me know about the PMS thing...

 

*****

 

You know what, I am PMSing, I didn't even think about that. Probably because it has never effected me in this way before, I mean I get moody but I have never flipped like this with my boyfriend. I am really glad you asked that, cause I never would have thought about that in a million years...GEEZ what is wrong with me now.??? hahahaha! thank you! I hope this is what it is.

[Quandary]

I am willing to bet that as soon as you stop PMSing all the terrible feelings will go away.

 

Now just keep this in mind so you don't drive yourself crazy.

 

Glad I actually helped someone.

[Tony T]

When you stop PMSing, that isn't going to change the fact that you are putting all the effort into this relationship and not getting nearly as much in return.

 

When your cycle is over, maybe you can deal better with the emptiness and crap but it will still be there. You are obviously putting a whole lot more of yourself into this thing and you are not fulfilled.

 

When your head is on straight, take a good look at this relationship to see if you are really getting your needs met. I don't think you are. I think this dude is actually taking advantage of you and taking you for granted. He is selfish and may even be incapable of returning your kindnesses in any fashion. The least he could do is appreciate you.

 

It just sounds like you are a very giving person and you've finally realized you aren't getting back.

 

If I were you, I would pay attention to the stuff that surfaces during your PMS days. There's got to be a reason nature built that into the process.

 

Kudos to Quandary for sensing that you were PMSing...and admittedly I've never gone through that...but I still think you have some issues and problems in your relationship.

[Hope]

look, when you love someone, really love them, then you don't think about what they have or have not done for you lately. instead you think about what you can do for them. love is very selfless and i'm not trying to say that you are selfish, but maybe you should try to reasses the situation and figure out if you really love this guy or if you love the way YOU feel when you are with him.

 

For example: "mike" is eating chicken for dinner, the chicken is really good and so mike says "i LOVE this chicken."

 

Now, let's think about this: does mike love THE chicken or does he just love chicken in general and the way HE feels when he eats it? obviously he just loves chicken in general. if he really loved THE chicken he wouldn't eat it in order to gain pleasure from it, instead he would take care of the chicken and try to give the chicken enjoyment....

 

Do you get what i'm trying to say?

 

Do you love THE guy or do you love the way you feel when you are around him? you really need to consider this before you start saying that you love him.

 

Good Luck.

[Juds]

What an analogy. GREAT. Just goes to show how often we consider ourselves first in the game of love.

[Kit-Kat]

What an analogy. GREAT. Just goes to show how often we consider ourselves first in the game of love.

 

****

 

Thank you all for responding to my post. You have all brought up great point's. Given me a lot to think about. I actually don't think I have to think about this one that much. Even though I still have PMS, I know that this is a one sided relationship, it has been since day 1, 3 year's ago. He does take me for granted all the time. And the chicken example is a great one. That is totally it, I like how I feel with him, but at any other time when I am actually thinking about our relationship,how he stood me up the other night or whatever I am always so mad and hurt. This is one I need to get out of. How do I go about this though, I do care about him and I have a lot of feeling's there for him....but I guess it is better to get out now then continue to be unhappy like I am.

 

Thank you all so much...you really dont know how much you have all helped me.