Rowena Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I'm curious to know why married people cheat and do the ones that cheat in the past always cheat in the future. Is it because they're bored and lonely in their own marriage or is it that they like the drama, excitement of it all. I ask these questions because I know this guy who is married. He claims that he loves his wife and I don't think he would ever leave her, yet I know of two relationships that he's had with married women. Do men like this prey on married women who have insecurities and problems in their own marriage. Unbelievably this man says that he has a happy marriage. How can a marriage like this be a happy one if you are giving yourself (emotionally and physically) to someone else. Just curious on your thoughts. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 i think it depends on how the cheaters partner reacts...or if the even know. if they knowingly let the cheater cheat with no consequences or recourse...then what motivation does cheater have to change behaviour? maybe this guy has a problem, the wife knows...but she may also know that he will never leave her, maybe she is quite secure and comfortable with her life with him. it is hard to say with out knowing the circumstances of this man and his wifes relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Do a search on why people cheat. It may give you some reasons why. However, its different for different people. I don't think once a cheater always a cheater though. I think people can change, but they have to want too. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I think too it's different for everybody. Now a serial cheater I believe only does it for their pleasure, isn't concerned about anyone else or how they will be affected. I think it's normal and unfortunate that everyone cheats on someone at least once in their lifetime but that doesn't make it okay. To say once a cheater always a cheater would be a big stretch...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rowena Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe i think it depends on how the cheaters partner reacts...or if the even know. if they knowingly let the cheater cheat with no consequences or recourse...then what motivation does cheater have to change behaviour? maybe this guy has a problem, the wife knows...but she may also know that he will never leave her, maybe she is quite secure and comfortable with her life with him. it is hard to say with out knowing the circumstances of this man and his wifes relationship. They've been married for 12 years. He says that he fell in love with these two other women, but how can that be possible when you're in a "good" marriage as he claims. The first woman left him when things started to become too intense (as far as I know it was a long distance, emotional relationship only), but it sounds like the one he's currently involved in this time is physical. I don't know if the wife knows or not, but if I were her I would definately want to know so that I could kick the pathetic piece of sh*t out the door. Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 No. People can always change their behaviors. If a person were to cheat on me, and then tell me she had done so, and then shown remorse I'd forgive her. And move on. It would be hard, but I know me. She'd be forgiven without the usual gimme the details crap. If she did it a second time that's when I'd forgve her again, then go out and get laid. Then dump her. where's the sense in that? I dunno either. mA Link to post Share on other sites
LadyLuck Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 I believe in 'once a cheater. always a cheat'. Once a cheater cheats, it's only a matter of time before they will cheat again, especially if the issues that led them to cheat in the first place, are not resolved, ie: marriage guidance counselling, etc. My ex husband first cheated on me only six years into our marriage. I got wind of his cheating and caught him out, only a few days into the affair. Of course he was remorseful, sobbed his eyes out, said it was me he really loved and wanted,, begged for a second chance.........and I forgave him!! Life continued in, yet four years later, yep, he cheated again!! Only this time, he walked out on me and our kids and he never came home again........that was three years ago. I also know of a couple who are married. His wife is a serial cheater, even tho she says she loves her husband!! Her husband recently found out about her current OM and moved out. But he's still hanging around her hoping she gets tired of the OM and goes back to the marriage. The husband is trying to woo her........when IMO he is no more than enabling her affair with the OM. I think th ehusband would be best giving her an ultimatum.....me or him, if you choose him I'm gone! Link to post Share on other sites
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