Sympathy Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Hi All, Perhaps some of you are familiar with my other thread regarding my ex abusive boyfriend. It has been more than 3 weeks since i have heard from him. I had called him at work regarding a change in weekend plans and when i pressed the issue or asked 'too' many questions he blurted out "It's over girl!' and slammed down the phone. This having been with him almost 5 yrs. He has a habit of doing this do me and then will pop up down the road as if nothing happened just to see if i was doing okay. In the past his 'erratic' behavior was usually do his drug abuse or other criminal covert activity that he didn't want me to be aware of.....he alway said he like me for my sense of humor and that i was naive. Since his last conviction,however, due to drug possession he has been on probation (5yrs ordered) so i don't know if it could be drugs but i don't know how a man with a 25 yr heroin habit and prior convictions would be deterred by probation. I suspicion there might be another woman in the picture but we always vowed that we would apprise each other of that event before becoming intimate with another party.....he more extremely insistent with me in that order. I could never abide his cheating even if it was only a simple date and for me that would be the final nail in the coffin so to speak in ending this relationship....it would be like actually viewing the 'body' knowing that the loved one was truly dead to me. I hate this limbo state i am in.....and was wondering should i risk contact by confronting him as to if there is indeed another woman or should i just ascertain by his silence that there is and just move on. I can't believe that all i get after 5 years is his 'get lost, i'm outta here' approach. Ironically just a couple of days before that momentous phone call he was rather lovey dovey. Sometimes i wonder if all that drug addiction was suppressing some undiagnosed behavioral disorder such as Bipolar.....despite his documented diagnosis of being Anti Social with sociopathic tendencies. Should i or shouldn't i? i am too smart to be this ignorant luv SYMPATHY Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I say move on...if he isn't letting you know where you stand, he's brushing you off like yesterday's lint....well that should be enough to realize that you deserve better. I can't say anything about his herion addiction because everyone has a past and makes mistakes and if you knew this and got involved then there's nothing that can be said about that. If you know how he acted before with drugs, does it seem he's acting the same again? The best thing for yourself I say is to move on...but only you can make that choice. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 he's brushing you off like yesterday's lint Great simile Barb! and i agree too! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Well sympathy, I can give you NO sympathy. You seem to be one of most women who love to be treated like shyt. If you found out he had another woman on the side then you would most likely chase him even MORE and become MORE enamored with him. My personal observations and experience with women show that women respond much more to negative and "azzholey" behavior from their man than they do to "nice" guys. You have the problem here, not him. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Sympathy, the best thing for you is to cut this guy out of your life cold turkey. Don't call him, don't try to see him, don't ask friends about him. He has made it clear to you that he does not care about your feelings. Your relationship with him has ended--he doesn't feel he owes you any explanations for his behavior. What you don't owe him is continued worry and concern--try to focus on your own life. You can be a happy person without this man, you don't need him . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sympathy Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 THANX ALL. U R RIGHT......WHAT REALLY BASICALLY SUCKS IS HOW HE CUT ME LOOSE AFTER BEING WITH HIM FOR 5 YRS......AS IF IT WERE ONLY 5 DAYS...."LIKE YESTERDAY'S LINT"...FOR SOME REASON HE WAS IN AN AWFUL HURRY TO SWEEP ME OUT OF THE PICTURE....AS IN THE PAST WITH HIS CONTINUAL DRUG ABUSE HE WOULD SPLIT ON ME IN A SECOND IF I CAME BETWEEN HIM AND HIS NEXT FIX OR DRUG DEAL.......AND HE HAS ADMITTED THAT IN THE PAST HE USED WHILE HE WAS ON PROBATION DESPITE RANDOM URINE DROPS WHICH THEY HAVEN'T GIVEN HIM SINCE HE WAS SENTENCED THIS PAST MAY. SO WHY WOULD THIS 5 TIME FELON TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT A NEW WOMAN IN HIS LIFE OR SHE ABOUT ME.....AND WITH ME HE WAITED UNTIL AFTER WE HAD UNPROTECTED SEX TO TELL ME HE HAD HEP C IN CONCLUSION I AM GOING TO HANG TOUGH AND LET THIS GO AND ONLY HOPE THAT TIME DOES HEAL ALL WOUNDS......AND THAT I DO IN FACT DESERVE BETTER LUV SYMPATHTY Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Well I wish you the best SYMPATHY but the fact of matter is that if this bad-azz dude calls you tomorrow and want to hook up then you will be at his side within 5 minutes flat. I have seen this hundreds of times, this dude has control over you emotionally and mentally otherwise you would have never stayed with him so long. Your only course of action if you REALLY want to never see him again is to move to a far away city and get into therapy for self-esteem issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sympathy Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 Alphamale, I am in therapy and my therapist at the VA (i am veteran) who has actually had my ex bf in one of his substance recovery groups....(the ex bf shooting up in the bathroom down the hall) has been trying for years to have me divest myself of this 'loser sociopath' as this Phd. labels him.....he once was going to call the police himself when i showed up to a session with him with bruises on my arms but i begged him not to. I am not offended by what you say as it is the truth in its pure unsugar coated form. I am sick and addicted to this piece of crap who treats me like a piece of crap because #1 i let him and #2 deep down inside he knows he is a loser piece of crap who needs to control as his life is so out of control....and would gut me or anyone else that crossed his path with the hunting knife he carries in his pocket in a second......as a S.W.A.T. team member once told me but would not elaborate on why. My therapist has given up on me and has suggested strongly that i move back to my original state having only moved here due to the ex bf who was all sweetness and light in the beginning of our relationship. I am hoping that if he does have a new love interest then he won't bother with me anymore....as sweeping up a factory for minimum wage at age 52 with his 5th felony under his belt preventing further advancement....or permanent hiring for that matter......limits his spending habits and he can't afford two women.......and i can't afford to move right now and i don't want to waste my days pining for him as i ain't diddly squat to him anymore.... I am a decent peson who doesn't do drugs....veteran......college graduate..my own roof over my head.....money in the bank...and have never been in trouble with the law in my life.......that loser should be so lucky that i want him but he has brainwashed me into thinking i am the loser and there is no life beyond him. NO PLACE TO RUN....NO PLACE TO HIDE luv SYMPATHY Link to post Share on other sites
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