warmblue7 Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I have been dating a single mother (29) for 6 months now. We were seeing each other every weekend. And talking on the phone every night, and sometimes in the mornings. She has been divorced for almost a year and this is her first serious relationship since. She recently told me she needs space. She said our relationship is fine and she doesn't want to end it, but between her daughter and job, she doesn't have much time for herself or friends. And being serious scares her. Yet she wants to still be exclusive. So we've slowed it down. I haven't called her, but she still calls me regularly. Almost daily. And I've not invited her out, but she's invited me to get together the past two weekends. I feel I'm getting mixed signals. I want more from her. I want to talk more frequently. And I want her to be more expressive. But I'm waiting. I'm giving her her space. I'm wondering if any women on here needed space from your boyfriends AND if you ended up getting back with them full time. Or if any of you guys had a woman need space, then shortly got back with you in full swing. I feel like I'm in limbo. Need some advice. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Tim; You are totally smothering this woman. Give her space, lots of it. Then start dating other women casually and let her know that she has some competition. You will be surprised how quickly she'll get hot for you again. If you want to keep this relationship going you need to back off for now and take care of your own needs first. If it is meant to be then things will work out down the road. In the meantime you must date other women. Don't put all your eggs in one basket cause I guarantee you that she won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author warmblue7 Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 First, I don't see how you can say I'm smothering this woman. If you read my post, I don't call her. She calls me. I don't ask her out anymore, she asks to do things with me. Are you saying I should reject her? when she first told me she wanted space and time, I THOUGHT she was breaking up with me. And when I said I'd rather just end it all, she began to weep and begged me to come over. And then she said she didn't want to end it. She just wanted more time to herself. The fact is I love her. And neither she nor I want to see other people. She DOESN'T want to end the relationship. She just wants more time to herself. that is what she told me. She told me last week she loved me. So I fail to understand what your advice is. Tim Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 I am saying you should reject her TEMPORARILY. If she is so interested why would she tell you she needs "space" and less face time? A woman who is deeply in love with a man would want him around MORE not LESS. Women like to string a man along as long as they can while they sort out their "feelings" and many times they won't dump the guy fully until they have a replacement for him waiting in the wings. Women ALWAYS look out for themselves first and everyone else second (unless it is their kids). You, as a male, should also do the same. In addition, you have put her in the drivers seat (relationship wise) and given up your power. What you need to do here is tell her that it is a good idea to give each other space and see each other less often but in the meantime you will be casually dating other women so see what is out there. Do n't let her play you like a fiddle man! Link to post Share on other sites
Author warmblue7 Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 Interesting perspective. can i ask your age? Link to post Share on other sites
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