determined buttercup Posted January 6, 2001 Share Posted January 6, 2001 Well, I didn't talk to him yet because he hasn't called, naturally. I had a great day today. I took control of my feelings and decided that this will stop. I know he cares about me, but he is not ready for any kind of relationship. My needs are not being met and I will not continue to subject myself to this no win situation. I am not going to lie. I care about him and I hope things work out. Perhaps if we go our seperate ways for a while and I let him do what he has to do and I don't have to deal with worrying about him calling or seeing me until he is ready, I think it could work. Do you think? **********What is everyone's thought on being a good match but bad timing for the relationship? Is there a chance or is timing everything?*********************** you're all so great! thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
Juds Posted January 6, 2001 Share Posted January 6, 2001 I don't really think that the timing issue is that relevant, unless you take into account living in different cities due to work obligations, or meeting when you are both right in the middle of your college exams etc. etc. I really do think that "bad timing" is an excuse. If you are both living in the same city, both single, and both reasonably settled in your lives, then really there is no reason why "timing" really makes that much difference. If this guy really wanted you, then he would be trying his butt off, not making excuses for his behaviour. It's the old "it's not you, it's me" line, which I think somehow makes him feel better about what he's doing to you. When attraction is strong, and there is a genuine interest, then seeing one another follows naturally. Go girl, you are SO doing the right thing here. Get on with your life and let this guy go and get his s**t together. If he suddenly realises that you aren't hanging around waiting for him, his interest may pick up again. Don't be too quick to jump back into his arms if that happens. Let him earn it back. In the meantime, have fun, date other guys, and look for happiness within your own heart. Don't rely on this guy to provide you with much. My prediction is that when he realises what he's lost, then he'll come crawling back. You are a lot more understanding than most, who would have told him where to get off. I'd say by then, that someone will have seen you for the great girl you are, and you'll be too busy for him. Serve him right. He's wrong to play you like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 6, 2001 Share Posted January 6, 2001 Timing places a central issue in all aspects of love. 1. Whether both parties are available at the same time. 2. Whether they are in the same proximity at the same time. 3. Whether they are ready for a relationship at the same time. There are many other entries on the this, but these are the most important. If you don't have any one of them, it just ain't gonna happen. Timing, of course, for each person is dependent on them being available and in the proximity of the person who is likewise...and who they are inclined to fall for. Link to post Share on other sites
determined buttercup Posted January 6, 2001 Share Posted January 6, 2001 Actually, he just graduated from college and is in the middle of finding a career. He may have to move for the career. None the less you gave me some excellent advice. I need to keep hearing that kind of encouragement to know I am doing the right thing. Thank you. I don't really think that the timing issue is that relevant, unless you take into account living in different cities due to work obligations, or meeting when you are both right in the middle of your college exams etc. etc. I really do think that "bad timing" is an excuse. If you are both living in the same city, both single, and both reasonably settled in your lives, then really there is no reason why "timing" really makes that much difference. If this guy really wanted you, then he would be trying his butt off, not making excuses for his behaviour. It's the old "it's not you, it's me" line, which I think somehow makes him feel better about what he's doing to you. When attraction is strong, and there is a genuine interest, then seeing one another follows naturally. Go girl, you are SO doing the right thing here. Get on with your life and let this guy go and get his s**t together. If he suddenly realises that you aren't hanging around waiting for him, his interest may pick up again. Don't be too quick to jump back into his arms if that happens. Let him earn it back. In the meantime, have fun, date other guys, and look for happiness within your own heart. Don't rely on this guy to provide you with much. My prediction is that when he realises what he's lost, then he'll come crawling back. You are a lot more understanding than most, who would have told him where to get off. I'd say by then, that someone will have seen you for the great girl you are, and you'll be too busy for him. Serve him right. He's wrong to play you like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Stay determined, buttercup. You sound like a person who likes to be in control and you probably manage your life very well. But love is something that can't be controlled or managed to turn out the way we want it to. So stay strong and reward yourself at the end of the day with something special because you did not cave in and go crawling to him. Timing places a central issue in all aspects of love. 1. Whether both parties are available at the same time. 2. Whether they are in the same proximity at the same time. 3. Whether they are ready for a relationship at the same time. There are many other entries on the this, but these are the most important. If you don't have any one of them, it just ain't gonna happen. Timing, of course, for each person is dependent on them being available and in the proximity of the person who is likewise...and who they are inclined to fall for. Link to post Share on other sites
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