10 days of no contact and miss him like crazy... ?

[nasc88]

I'm looking for advice...and I know no one can read people's minds but am hoping someone's experience was similar. I dated a guy for a year and a half. We got along great and truly enjoyed each other's company. We're both 36 and this was the first "real" relationship for us both. About 2 1/2 weeks ago we went out and he acted like a complete jerk and distant. The next morning I sat him down and asked him what was wrong. He said nothing. I knew he was lying so I pushed the conversation (which I still regret). He told me that recently he had been having doubts about being in the relationship long term. It wasn't me, I did nothing wrong - he just felt if he stayed in the relationship he'd be doing it half heartily. He messaged me that afternoon and said he was sorry for being a jerk Friday but everything had been weighing on him. Then on Sunday he messaged me like nothing had happened. On Monday I said I couldn't do this anymore. He offered on Wednesday to come over and talk - and when I asked what it would change he didn't say much. I told him it was best if we just took some time and didn't speak. On Sunday night he sent me a message asking how I was doing. At no point was he attempting to get back just checking in on me. Finally I told him that he chose to end the relationship and that his contact was too confusing for me and I would never be able to heal if he kept reaching out to me. That I cared about him and wished he would have tried harder but I just couldn't handle it emotionally. He responded that night and told me that he couldn't feel any worse and was sorry he let me down. He continually told me I was one of the most important people in his life and he wanted me to be a part of his life. I said I couldn't be his friend. He told me he would always care about me and his door was always open. It has been 10 days and I miss him like crazy. We're still FB friends because neither of us have been able to unfriend the other. Is there any chance he misses me as much and maybe we might get that 2nd chance? I never knew I could miss someone this much and have such heartache. Thanks.

[Speakingofwhich]

I'd give him a 2nd chance. You wrote that he's 36 and this is his first relationship. So, of course he would be cautious (as you are since it's your first, too). Maybe it's just going to take some time for him to get used to the idea of being in a R.

[Philosoraptor]

The thing that you need to focus on is that he didn't know what would change. Until he can give you a real reason the relationship would work, you need to accept that this is all for the best.

 

It's hard, but it will get easier with time. For now just take care of yourself and finding happiness as a single person.

[nasc88]

He was the one who ended things - so it's not like I can even give him a second chance. I told him not to contact me but I guess part of me was hoping he'd miss me enough that he would want to. I'm doing my best to fill my time and working on myself doing anything anyone asks me to do but there is a part of me that is wishing he would change his mind and reach out to me. I guess that's human nature. He just gave me such mixed messages about how he wanted me in his life and I was one of the most important people in his life. I guess just not important enough to try and make the relationship work.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

10 days, woo hoo! keep it up, its gets easier as time as goes by..trust me! & the longer the NC the better the chance he contacts you with the 180' & the better the chance @ a possible reconciliation

 

you'd be amazed @ how loud & powerful silence really is..

Edited September 5, 2013 by LifeGoesOnMan