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My boyfriend and I have been together a long time. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I think we have a pretty good relationship. The problem is, I gave him 5 years to marry me. Time's getting close, especially since he hasn't proposed to me. He's leaving for Houston in August, where he has a job. He's told me that he won't think about engagement or marriage until 6 months after he's worked. We love each other very much, this I'm certain of, but should I wait for him? I'm scared of making a fool of myself by waiting on him. I know he's not going anywhere and I know he's satisfied with me? But as I asked before, should I wait or not?

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But as I asked before, should I wait or not?

 

Kiey,

 

What's the answer you want to hear? Or do you want the truth? I know you've posted here many times before regarding the problems with your boyfriend and I'm sorry that I haven't gotten a chance to reply to any of the others. I've been extraordinarily busy with my studies and life in general and haven't really been up to par in posting replies on the board.

 

It seems that you have a lot of issues that you continue to bring up throughout your postings. For instance, the lack of trust that you have in your relationship. If you don't trust him, you may as well forget the whole thing. If you don't have that, you have nothing. It's essential.

 

You don't *give* someone a certain amount of time to propose. That's not what marriage is about, at least to me anyway. You don't say: "Okay in five years we're getting married." and then just expect it to happen. Marriage is symbolic. It's something incredibly special. You don't get married to solve your problems. That's the worst reason. Yes, married people have their quarrels, but that's after they get married.. not before. If you're having these sorts of problems at this frequency now, then I'd seriously consider whether or not you should pursue the relationship, not whether or not you're going to get married "on time." Honestly, I don't see this situation getting any better. But it's your decision.

 

Best wishes,

 

LoveAngel

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  • 3 weeks later...

I too have been dating a guy for several years and he took

 

a job in a different state that i live in and well after a long time of seeing eachother just on the weekend

 

My boyfriend and I have been together a long time. We have our ups and our downs, but all in all, I think we have a pretty good relationship. The problem is, I gave him 5 years to marry me. Time's getting close, especially since he hasn't proposed to me. He's leaving for Houston in August, where he has a job. He's told me that he won't think about engagement or marriage until 6 months after he's worked. We love each other very much, this I'm certain of, but should I wait for him? I'm scared of making a fool of myself by waiting on him. I know he's not going anywhere and I know he's satisfied with me? But as I asked before, should I wait or not?
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