Forbidden guy

[Julie]

i have a problem i was hopiing i could get some advice here.

 

i met this guy during summer because we worked at this camp together and i started to really like him a lot. he was literallt my dream guy. but then i found out he had a girlfriend. i have since tried numerous ways to get over him but i can't seem to.

 

i have his screen name on my buddy list and everytime he is online i get this urge to im him and many times i give in so therefore i usually take his name off my buddy list but then i usually end up putting it back on again.

 

the good thing is that we don't go to the same school, but one day i was driving home and who do i see driving down the street? you guessed it, Mr. Wonderful himself.

 

also, i feel like everything reminds me of him. i don't know how to get over him. i know in my head that it's useless and a waste of my time to like him since he is taken, but i can't seem to get over him and there is even a part of me praying for him and his girlfriend to break up already. i know that sounds terrible but it's the truth. i want to forget him and move on. can you guys please tell me how i can do that?

 

thanks.

[punky]

i have a problem i was hopiing i could get some advice here. i met this guy during summer because we worked at this camp together and i started to really like him a lot. he was literallt my dream guy. but then i found out he had a girlfriend. i have since tried numerous ways to get over him but i can't seem to. i have his screen name on my buddy list and everytime he is online i get this urge to im him and many times i give in so therefore i usually take his name off my buddy list but then i usually end up putting it back on again. the good thing is that we don't go to the same school, but one day i was driving home and who do i see driving down the street? you guessed it, Mr. Wonderful himself. also, i feel like everything reminds me of him. i don't know how to get over him. i know in my head that it's useless and a waste of my time to like him since he is taken, but i can't seem to get over him and there is even a part of me praying for him and his girlfriend to break up already. i know that sounds terrible but it's the truth. i want to forget him and move on. can you guys please tell me how i can do that? thanks.

Question, have you told this guy how you feel?? I mean I know he has a girlfriend but if he feels the same way then well, love is something that happens, two people can't control it even if there is someone else involved. Don't hold back and take risks. If this was meant to be then the other girl will find someone else. It's unfortunate for her if that is the case, but things change. If you've already told the guy you like him and it isn't going to work, then go out be loud have fun and meet someone else!!!

[Tony T]

If you have absolutely no hint that this guy may like you, move on. Telling him you are fond of him at this point, after you haven't seen him for a while, would look pretty foolish.

 

There are just too many guys out there to be obsessing over this one...unless you are just one of those people who likes only what she can't have.

 

Praying that someone breaks up with their girlfriend is foolish, insane, and downright mean. First, there is no guarantee you would have him if he did that, especially since you seldom see him now. Second, I really don't think you would want someone doing that if you were in his girlfriend's place. This will be especially troubling to you if you believe in karma, what goes around comes around.

 

I don't think it's bad to just say hello in an IM once in a while, just to keep yourself on his mind. If later on he becomes free, that might be a way of opening things up. But keep the IMs friendly and brief. And, for now, go out and find a guy who doesn't have a girlfriend.

[Deejette]

Guys who are taken (with girlfriends or married) are off limits. If he was unhappy in his relationship, he would not be with her. He would have contacted you or at least tried to find you if he was really interested in you.

 

So, even though you are obsessed with him, you should back off. Trying to bust up his current relationship won't bring him happiness (and will be very bad for you too).

If you have absolutely no hint that this guy may like you, move on. Telling him you are fond of him at this point, after you haven't seen him for a while, would look pretty foolish. There are just too many guys out there to be obsessing over this one...unless you are just one of those people who likes only what she can't have. Praying that someone breaks up with their girlfriend is foolish, insane, and downright mean. First, there is no guarantee you would have him if he did that, especially since you seldom see him now. Second, I really don't think you would want someone doing that if you were in his girlfriend's place. This will be especially troubling to you if you believe in karma, what goes around comes around. I don't think it's bad to just say hello in an IM once in a while, just to keep yourself on his mind. If later on he becomes free, that might be a way of opening things up. But keep the IMs friendly and brief. And, for now, go out and find a guy who doesn't have a girlfriend.

 

[Julie]

i don't want to ruin his relationship. i wanted to know how i could get over him, that's all.

[Deejette]

It takes time to get over someone and maybe you will never completely get over him. That is the problem with love. You can't predict whether one day you won't even remember his name or whether you will be happily married one day but once in a while will still think of him.

 

There is no easy way to get over someone, except by distracting yourself with work, fun, friends, until time heals the wound. Also, realizing that we sometimes can't have everything we want in life can be helpful.

i don't want to ruin his relationship. i wanted to know how i could get over him, that's all.