How did you feel when you first met the person who you will marry?

[Kitchen]

I hear that sometimes when people first meet their future spouse, they just instinctively know that this is a special person. Not exactly love at first sight, but a feeling nevertheless. Has this happened to any one of you? If so, can you describe the feeling?

[Nyla]

I hear that sometimes when people first meet their future spouse, they just instinctively know that this is a special person. Not exactly love at first sight, but a feeling nevertheless. Has this happened to any one of you? If so, can you describe the feeling?

 

When I met my husband, it was a blind date. As soon as I lay eyes on him, I was attracted and charmed. He looked like the intellectual type I had been dreaming of for years. Something told me that I made a good choice going out on that date when I saw my him. I wanted to jump his bones that same night because he was so sexy, but I held off so that I could get to know him well before we went to bed. I met him the week I turned 25.

[Silly_Girl]

I thought he was absolutely lovely, really wanted to see him again but wasn't sure he had enough of an 'edge' to keep me interested in the long run. I was a prat

 

He, as he said in his speech on our wedding day, knew from our date that I was someone he could see himself being with for ever. He drove home wondering whether he'd found The One. He even mentioned our date to his mum on the phone that day (she loves to tell me this!) and he'd never ever done that before. He'd never introduced his mum to a girlfriend before. He swears he knew all along we'd end up together, which was why he was so patient when I was wobbling and fretting about whether I was ready to be in a relationship again.

 

Is there someone you are/aren't getting that feeling about?

[Kitchen]

I thought he was absolutely lovely, really wanted to see him again but wasn't sure he had enough of an 'edge' to keep me interested in the long run. I was a prat

 

He, as he said in his speech on our wedding day, knew from our date that I was someone he could see himself being with for ever. He drove home wondering whether he'd found The One. He even mentioned our date to his mum on the phone that day (she loves to tell me this!) and he'd never ever done that before. He'd never introduced his mum to a girlfriend before. He swears he knew all along we'd end up together, which was why he was so patient when I was wobbling and fretting about whether I was ready to be in a relationship again.

 

Is there someone you are/aren't getting that feeling about?

 

Thanks for your response.

 

Well I never had that feeling on the first day I met my ex-gf, but I eventually did have it, and it was the first time in my life that I felt that way. She brought out the best in me. We broke up over a stupid fight, and didn't get back together for stupid reasons including pride and miscommunication. It was both of our faults. When she first started seeing someone else a couple of months ago I realized what I am about to lose so I tried to work things out with her. She still had/has feelings for me, but at that point she had already convinced herself she wants to move on, and so she did. She was my first love and I honestly saw her as a girl that I can bring home one day. I never felt that way about anyone before, and I'm 26.

 

So I am just wondering if I can be on the lookout for that feeling again.

[ChooseTruth]

I don't really trust that part of me (1st day kinda thing). To easy to confuse with lust. After getting to know someone, sure.

 

Oh btw I was married 14 years.

[Silly_Girl]

You know how it feels now, and you're clearer on what characteristics and type of person you think suits you best, so you're in a stronger position this time around.

 

Try not to over-think it though. If you look too hard it might never come...

[Grumpybutfun]

Kitchen:

It is less about the "feeling" than the actions of you both. Think of love as a verb in which you have to use kindness, respect, laughter, intelligence, communication and patience to keep at its maximum capacity. Love at first sight is usually lust because until you know someone's capacity for joy, morals, values, financial responsibility, family needs, and emotional background, you can't love them. Looks do not equate love and love is not some mystic force...well, it isn't until they open their heart and life and let you see in and you want to connect with those traits in the other person for as long as you live.

Yes, you will feel something one day that will make you forget your ex's name.

Grumps

[OpenBook]

It felt kinda like a shiver or ripple run through me, but not that intense. Like a wavelength, when a pebble is dropped into still water. Accompanied by a sort of... recognition? Not quite the right word for it. But I knew he would become a very significant person in my life the first time I laid eyes on him. And sure enough, he was. I married him 3 years later. And divorced him 3 years after that. I've learned the hard way that that feeling does NOT signify Happily Ever After. Only the long-term impact on my life.

 

That feeling has only happened to me a handful of times. It always happens at first sight, with both people and places that eventually become significant, romantically or otherwise.

[miss_jaclynrae]

He hasn't proposed yet, but I have no doubt at all that I could spend forever with my mister.

 

 

I always talk about when we first met, it is something that I will stand by til the day I die... there was without a doubt, this indescribable need to know him.

 

I don't believe in love at first sight, because it wasn't love, but it was as if we were two magnets, being drawn together.

He felt it too, and even now it makes my heart flutter. It wasn't what he looked like, or anything to do with his looks, it was just as if this chemistry was telling us both that the other person provided that perfect balance.

 

 

9 months of being completely inseparable [we pretty much moved in together when we first met] and now one month apart... I am so in love. We really do feel as if we were made for one another, I have never had so much fun with someone in my entire life. We have had our hard times of course, but they are few and far between compared to all of our good times. To be able to spend day in and day out, and sew your life to anothers so flawlessly is an amazing thing.

 

Nothing is guaranteed in life, but some things are worth the risk.

[Pyro]

Can't really put it into words. My everyday happiness speaks for itself.

[Kitchen]

You know how it feels now, and you're clearer on what characteristics and type of person you think suits you best, so you're in a stronger position this time around.

 

Try not to over-think it though. If you look too hard it might never come...

 

True, but I am afraid of falling into the trap of trying to find someone just like my ex. I liked her characteristics but if I look for those, then I may never be satisfied. Because no two people are the same, right?

[ThomasD]

I hear that sometimes when people first meet their future spouse, they just instinctively know that this is a special person. Not exactly love at first sight, but a feeling nevertheless. Has this happened to any one of you? If so, can you describe the feeling?

I guess there's some room for waffling about what "first meet" means. Do you mean the second or two when you first see him/her, before introductions, conversation, etc? Or the first few hours - perhaps a day - you are in each other's presence? Or even the first several days, out to a week or so?

 

My wife and I wrote to each other - increasingly serious letters, on real paper (this was before internet, email, skype, cell phones, etc) - for over 3 months before we met in person. Classic radio people (there are still a few, though very few, around) will tell you "radio is just like television - but the pictures are better.". Well, we "saw" significant parts of each other's minds and personalities before we saw each other's face (except for a couple of posed yearbook pictures we exchanged). We didn't know it, and certainly wouldn't have admitted it if we did, that we were already "in like" with each other before we met in person. Or at least we liked the people built in our imaginations from phrases, sentences, paragraphs and pages; the people whose dwelling was constructed from the friendship cards that regularly accompanied the letters.

 

You can "like" a fantasy who lives in an envelope, phone speaker, or computer monitor but you can never "love" such a being because love requires commitment to a person and a person is a flesh-and-blood entity you touch; and you communicate directly with, eschewing buffers of paper and telecom and go-betweens; and you share a common physical space with. It was over 40 years ago, but I recall that first sighting. A rather tall, slender, small-breasted girl with a mouth that pulled her lips too far open when she smiled, exposing gums along with teeth, walked out of the airway and into the terminal. Easy on the eyes and certainly attractive in a common way but not drop-dead gorgeous by the cultural standards which defined fashion models, movie starts and Playboy centerfolds. Love at first sight? Flutterbys? Not hardly - but a reassurance that the physical reality correlated well with the fantasy communicated on paper.

 

A few hours after that first in-person meeting we had our first date. A very confusing mix of awkward and clumsy yet familiar and supportive. At one point she took my hand - quite willingly, perhaps eagerly. Was the sensation I felt more than the knowledge I had violated her personal space? The conversation - not forced or strained, but successfully guided by familiarity with the fantasy person. The pauses and silences - not intimidating, but somewhat reassuring to be in the presence of another quiet-and-shy person. Did these feelings mean "she's the one"? I doubt it.

 

At the end of our first date I drove back to where she was staying. I acrobatically reached across the console to her seat (bucket seats were obviously invented by some sexually repressed prude!), attempting something I had never done before - an embrace and kiss on the first date. It was acceptable, though not required, for a guy to do that. And it was just as acceptable for the girl to respectfully and politely decline the gesture. Or, she might diminish the act by holding her arms between her body and yours while offering a cheek or forehead rather than mouth and lips. Or, she might permit a chaste, perfunctory kiss - after all, we first laid eyes on each other just 6 hours ago. But was I acting from macho obligation, or had I mustered boldness, or was it a response to some mystical emotional spark? I don't know.

 

Well, she accepted the kiss. In fact, she kissed back! She REALLY kissed back!! More than once!! Enough to make me tremble and stammer a bit, though she politely and considerately suppressed the giggles until after I had walked her to the porch, deposited her inside, and was on my way back to the car. And then . . . I had the instinctive feeling that this was a special person. Somebody I wanted to know so much better. Somebody I wanted to invest time and attention with. Somebody who might - just might - be my life partner. All this on the day when the fantasies conjured from handwritten pages took form as we first met in-person. Did that kiss create a feeling that drove itself into our instincts - or was the kiss a physical manifestation of an intangible felling already embedded in our instincts - or was it merely a punctuation at the end of a sentence we had written?

 

One year plus two weeks after that first-date kiss we kissed at the altar in our wedding service. Of course, by then we were not only "in like" but also "in love" and "in lust" with each other. We are still married - to each other! - over 39 years later.

[jimmysgirl10]

I met my future husband 17 years ago, when I was 15. I said then that I would marry him someday : ) I was a little wild, and yes, I slept with him. I believed I had no chance with him because I was lying about my age to him (he was 5 years older). 2 years later he opened a piercing and tattoo shop - I went and got numerous piercings just to see this man.

We dated, we slept together, but couldn't get along, in fact, we tried numerous times. This last time we went no contact for 8 looooooong years and just got back together thanks to Facebook 4 months ago. The moment I saw him again, I knew - this is def. it. Things have changed, we have changed, and the timing was finally right. I will never forget the moment he pulled into my driveway this time around . . . . . I knew then I would definitely marry him this time. And my engagement ring just got delivered today!

[Clockwork]

I liked her right away and within a couple weeks I knew I was marrying her.

[GorillaTheater]

When I first laid eyes on my wife, she was an astoundingly cute 16-year-old in a bikini.

 

So, what I felt was abject lust for the most part.

[cocorico]

I hear that sometimes when people first meet their future spouse, they just instinctively know that this is a special person. Not exactly love at first sight, but a feeling nevertheless. Has this happened to any one of you? If so, can you describe the feeling?

 

When I first saw him, I thought, mmmm, I'd like some of that... But I wasn't thinking of anything longer term than a quick roll in the hay at that stage.