Adult Child of Divorce, how to talk with parents?

[Sb41288]

So I'm a 25 yr old, who's parents are in the process of divorcing. My father is the one who wanted to get divorce, likely because he has been involved in infedility since as long as they have been married. 28 years btw. This has really took an emotional toll on me lately because recently I asked him if I could stop by his house ( our old family home) to visit him. He responded that he was out of town. I needed to pick up something from there so I decided to stop by anyway and grab what I needed. When I arrived his car was there, so I thought he came home early and just didnt tell me. I rang the doorbell, careful not to intrude and no one answered. I used my key to enter and went upstairs to get what I needed calling his name the whole time. Finally I find him upstairs with headphones on and he is really on shock to see me there, long story short he lied about being out of town because he had "friend" over for the weekend. And rushed me out the house without really a word, except that he didnt want me to run into the person. So I left, but this event really hit me hard because he not only lied to me, but he was really rude to me. He also yet to this day to acknowledge the divorce to me or my sister nor apologize for his years of infidelity. This is why I decided to write a long letter to him about how I felt through email and really put all my feelings out. It was not a nice letter but it was needed. I just want to know if anyone else has been through this, was I right to write the letter? How did you deal with discussing this stuff with your parents post divorce?

[73Fras]

I can't speak from experience as I was just 3 when my parents divorced but I would imagine I would feel/react the same way.

Kids grow up respecting their parents and viewing them as their role model and in the relationship department, your father failed you and now he is starting to fail you in the decent human being category as well.

If you can lie to your own child - there isn't much lower than that. You are an adult and all he had to say was this is not a good time for you to visit - end of discussion.

 

As to the letter, as long as you have zero expectations of a response - then good for you.. I bet it felt great to get it all out.