Author Chatmonkey Posted September 11, 2013 Author Share Posted September 11, 2013 I dont 'keep her around' lol.. She has ALWAYS talked to me since i first met her. She loves the internet and going through facebook and pinterest etc to find interesting things and always shares them with me. She likes to talk with me what can i say lol... She initiates conversation almost every time nd I never had an issue with having a chat but now im not going out with her daughter she still wants to talk with me coz we're friends i guess nd it'd be weird just to stop just coz of this... No i wouldnt go grab a beer with her haha but she would know the reason if we stopped talking and that'd be really rude i feel. You could be right in that i enjoy talking to her because she is the last thing i have in relation to my girlfriend but on the other hand i have accepted its over and can't just cut all ties with this woman. i know she wouldn't say anything we talk about to my ex because she swore to me she wouldn't but yah i can't just ditch this woman lol... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 11, 2013 Author Share Posted September 11, 2013 She just started a conversation with me, my ex, and my ex's brother telling us all about her trip It seems she wants to carry on like nothing has happened lol mind u its not like me and my ex are on bad terms by any means. But this is and interesting situation Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 She just started a conversation with me, my ex, and my ex's brother telling us all about her trip It seems she wants to carry on like nothing has happened lol mind u its not like me and my ex are on bad terms by any means. But this is and interesting situation I dont even know how to deal with this situation anymore with you lol. I dont even know...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 11, 2013 Author Share Posted September 11, 2013 this is not my fault that she is doing this!! I will do what u suggested but i cant stop her from talking to me altogether :S Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 this is not my fault that she is doing this!! I will do what u suggested but i cant stop her from talking to me altogether :S You can't stop her from talking to you, but you absolutely can send her a message as suggested and then stop replying. If she has even a little common sense, she will understand and leave you alone. Staying in touch with your ex's mother will continuously open the wound and/or create a sense of false hope. It is self-torture, pure and simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 this is not my fault that she is doing this!! I will do what u suggested but i cant stop her from talking to me altogether :S See the post above me?!?!?!?! 1000% THAT You CAN tell her to stop talking to you...you just choose not to lol. If you would tell her the situation, she would DEFIANTLY not talk to you. Its NOT an interesting situation as you have described. In fact, its HIGHLY irregular and will only lead to crap later on. I bet my mother on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 11, 2013 Author Share Posted September 11, 2013 OK.. I will see if i can bring myself to tell this woman Link to post Share on other sites
stormer1092 Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 OK.. I will see if i can bring myself to tell this woman I still talk to my exs family. But they understand the situation and know their daughter enough and know whats shes going through. We don't talk about her but I still like to be friendly with her family. I see nothing wrong with it. Its not like I was in a relationship with them? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 this is not my fault that she is doing this!! I will do what u suggested but i cant stop her from talking to me altogether :S It is your fault if you play into it. Just don't respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 I still talk to my exs family. But they understand the situation and know their daughter enough and know whats shes going through. We don't talk about her but I still like to be friendly with her family. I see nothing wrong with it. Its not like I was in a relationship with them? I do too, as my ex's sister (who I knew before I met my ex) is married to my best friend. I even had lunch with my ex's parents (without my ex of course) a few weeks ago. But my ex is not discussed at all and I certainly wasn't talking to the parents at all while I was still recovering. The only person I discussed it with was my friend, as my ex didn't discuss much with him knowing that we've been friends for 15-plus years. So I guess my situation is somewhat similar to yours. Link to post Share on other sites
stormer1092 Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 I do too, as my ex's sister (who I knew before I met my ex) is married to my best friend. I even had lunch with my ex's parents (without my ex of course) a few weeks ago. But my ex is not discussed at all and I certainly wasn't talking to the parents at all while I was still recovering. The only person I discussed it with was my friend, as my ex didn't discuss much with him knowing that we've been friends for 15-plus years. So I guess my situation is somewhat similar to yours. Yea I seen my exs sister and I kept it together so seeing her family is ok for me. But they all love me and they actually think I'm right in my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 Yea I seen my exs sister and I kept it together so seeing her family is ok for me. But they all love me and they actually think I'm right in my situation. Yeah, I have no idea what they thought about my situation that's how little I brought it up. My ex's sister is overprotective of my ex, but the fact that she's hunky-dory with me now is a good indicator that, at the very least, she feels that I handled everything well. As for the parents, who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
stormer1092 Posted September 11, 2013 Share Posted September 11, 2013 Yeah, I have no idea what they thought about my situation that's how little I brought it up. My ex's sister is overprotective of my ex, but the fact that she's hunky-dory with me now is a good indicator that, at the very least, she feels that I handled everything well. As for the parents, who knows. Oh I was told by her sister that my ex is doing wrong. I didn't even bring it up, she just came out and said it. Also my ex has been very mean to everyone and moody as sh!3. I feel bad but she did it to herself. I still miss her but I don't hurt every day like I used to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Interesting hearing your guys experiences! My ex's mother is not on anyone's side and knows there are faults both within her daughter and myself. Anyway to the point - I will probs then just tell her to cut contact till I am over my ex. Like you pointed out u still talk with their fam but only after you were over everything so I think that is the main point with everything on here is wait till you're over it. Cheers fellas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Interesting hearing your guys experiences! My ex's mother is not on anyone's side and knows there are faults both within her daughter and myself. Anyway to the point - I will probs then just tell her to cut contact till I am over my ex. Like you pointed out u still talk with their fam but only after you were over everything so I think that is the main point with everything on here is wait till you're over it. Cheers fellas When push comes to shove, she is on her daughters side 10000%. Lets just say if you two were hanging off a cliff and she could only save one person....you know where I'm going with this haha. Anyways, the second paragraph is again gold. I'm sure she is a nice lady so there is no reason to just throw her out of your life....just pause it for a while until you are indifferent. That WILL happen at some point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 When push comes to shove, she is on her daughters side 10000%. Lets just say if you two were hanging off a cliff and she could only save one person....you know where I'm going with this haha. Anyways, the second paragraph is again gold. I'm sure she is a nice lady so there is no reason to just throw her out of your life....just pause it for a while until you are indifferent. That WILL happen at some point. yep I would be dead meat! haha just sent her a message saying we should cut contact etc she replied "No offence and I wish you the best - until later xx" done and dusted 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 yep I would be dead meat! haha just sent her a message saying we should cut contact etc she replied "No offence and I wish you the best - until later xx" done and dusted Well done, sir! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) Ok guys.. so look. I feel like for some reason, i have made huge progress over the past week. already. The first few days i cried myself crazy. However, things suddenly came into my head. Wasn't this the girl who i thought about breaking up with numerous times? the girl who if you looked into the future you weren't sure if u would be THAT happy? Yes i did LOVE her SO much. But i remembered her qualities which annoyed, which caused tension, and how things weren't always that great... i start to realize these things and it is helping me immensely and i feel like i am recovering abnormally fast from this break up because of it. So anyway, I am leaving tomorrow morning early for Uni (finally) and we planned to meet up today (because i felt i was recovering so fast i wouldn't feel that much pain when i saw her). And we did. It was very brief - we walked my dog at a park for a bit and then i dropped her home and said my last goodbyes and told her that we shouldn't speak for a while. Yes i cried a tiny amount to myself after i left and leaving her is still hard. Just reminding I have been completely truthful in what i have said to you guys and my responses about the situation. I just thought you deserved continued complete honesty so this is why i am telling you this. Anyway, again, yes it was hard leaving but i am glad i got to say goodbye and I think myself realising we really werent the perfect match as much as I do ****ing love this beautiful girl, it just would not have been as great as it always seems like as soon as u lose it. This is why i think i am getting over it faster than i thought i would. Now i am not saying i am over it lol... no... i still am in love with her yes. I just feel because i have a lot of time to think and be with myself this past week and helped myself greatly and however long i felt it would take me to get over this i feel like that has been shortened significantly due to my realisations. Edited September 13, 2013 by Chatmonkey 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 Maybe i am feeling like this because i just saw her with not many ill effects? I think this is a positive sign to say the least. I am confident that over the coming weeks/months I will be feeling a lot better about myself and the future. This was a real confidence booster 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chatmonkey Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 she just liked two pictures of us together on facebook one was the one from our anniversary little strange! she know's ill get a notification from her liking it as well Link to post Share on other sites
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