IDK Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hi everyone well lately me and my girl have been going through a lot and today wasn't any better she decided to watch opra (or what ever you call it) and Dr. Phil was on there and they had a discution about PORN well my girl watched the whole show and when I called tonight after about 15 mins into the convo she said she had watched it and that Dr. Phil said that Porn is an addiction and your pretty much making your wife/gf feeling bad. Well she told this to me and I told her hey I can't help it if I think porn is cool you might not but I'm not going to stop looking at it just so you think I'm making you feel ugly "I told her she isn't ugly I just like porn" and she got all mad and stuff I don't get it why does it make woman feel insaperier when a guy looks at porn its a picture ppl not a real person what do you want us to do go out and cheat on you theres no harm in looking at a naked woman on your puter so can someone please tell me why I get this lecture from my girl everytime I say I look at porn. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by IDK Hi everyone well lately me and my girl have been going through a lot and today wasn't any better she decided to watch opra (or what ever you call it) and Dr. Phil was on there and they had a discution about PORN well my girl watched the whole show and when I called tonight after about 15 mins into the convo she said she had watched it and that Dr. Phil said that Porn is an addiction and your pretty much making your wife/gf feeling bad. Well she told this to me and I told her hey I can't help it if I think porn is cool you might not but I'm not going to stop looking at it just so you think I'm making you feel ugly "I told her she isn't ugly I just like porn" and she got all mad and stuff I don't get it why does it make woman feel insaperier when a guy looks at porn its a picture ppl not a real person what do you want us to do go out and cheat on you theres no harm in looking at a naked woman on your puter so can someone please tell me why I get this lecture from my girl everytime I say I look at porn. Not ALL women feel this way about Pornography.. Why do you get a lecture every time you tell YOUR girlfriend that you look at it.. the question is, why do you keep telling her you look at it when you know it pisses her off? Obviously she isn't all about it, and thats okay and her decision. Your wanting to view it is all okay as well and your decision.. it doesn't mean you HAVE to watch it with her or tell her how and why exactly Debbie DOES Do Dallas right? Link to post Share on other sites
JackieQ Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 and just why does Debbie do Dallas....could wax philosophical here (not)... Maybe the problem comes when she feels like you prefer porn over her?? Makes her feel bad about who she is/how she looks/what she is like when she is with you... like she should be able to take care of you and somehow fails? Just guessing... Not all girls hate porn..but sounds like its either not her thing or its getting in the way of you and her. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflygrl Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 hey idk im sorry but looking at porn is a type of cheating it isn't physical but it is mental.. my friends h looks at porn and believe me when im telling you it isn't good because wife is sick of it and it is tearing this relationship apart.. he is downloading on emule and he thinks he is getting away with it and he isn't she knows so please for your relationship sake stop looking at it for your girlfriend.. it is respect for her .. and if she is so beautiful why you feel the need to do it.. think about it those girls aren't perfect they fix it like that .. i feel that if you don't she will make you choose between her or the porn and you will lose her.. my friend is on the verge of calling it quits.. h has quit giving her what she wants emotionally.. so she is tired of it.. would you like it if your girl was doing this behind your back how would it make you feel ask these questions and see if porn is all worth it.. im not trying to bash you or tell you what to do .. just want you to know you may lose her if you don't wake up.. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by butterflygrl hey idk im sorry but looking at porn is a type of cheating it isn't physical but it is mental.. my friends h looks at porn and believe me when im telling you it isn't good because wife is sick of it and it is tearing this relationship apart.. he is downloading on emule and he thinks he is getting away with it and he isn't she knows so please for your relationship sake stop looking at it for your girlfriend.. it is respect for her .. and if she is so beautiful why you feel the need to do it.. think about it those girls aren't perfect they fix it like that .. i feel that if you don't she will make you choose between her or the porn and you will lose her.. my friend is on the verge of calling it quits.. h has quit giving her what she wants emotionally.. so she is tired of it.. would you like it if your girl was doing this behind your back how would it make you feel ask these questions and see if porn is all worth it.. im not trying to bash you or tell you what to do .. just want you to know you may lose her if you don't wake up.. This is your opinion, not fact. You believe viewing pornography is cheating.. and while you have the right to believe what you wish.. it is simply that, YOUR belief. What you've described in your friends relationship doesn't sound remotely close to what IDK has described in his orginal thread.. he NEVER said he was downloading it, or that was viewing it behind his girlfriends back, or that his girlfriend has said he isn't meeting her needs emotionally in fact he NEVER said that he thinks the women in the porn he is looking at are perfect or better looking or more desirable than his girlfriend. He isn't watching or looking at pornography behind his girlfriends back.. Link to post Share on other sites
IDK Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 No I'm not doing this behind my girls back if she looked at it I would be more turned on and No I don't think the girl in the porn pics are hotter then my girl yes there hot but not even close to my girl. I'm not trying to hide anything she knows I look at it and continues to say that it makes her feel like she isn't worth it every time I see her I make sure "WE" do stuff and everything and its not like I'd take jackin off over her No way I'd have her over that that but when I'm at home and ya know I'll do it but I don't know whats so wrong about it she's been making me feel like I'm a pervert and its like gesh all I'm doing is looking at naked pics of woman that I don't know its not like there going to come out of the screen and start to like do me (would be freaky though) but ya I don't know why butterfly said all that cause I'm not even hiding it gesh I got a flipping porno in my vcr I'm no hidding what I like and I'm not going to change myself for something so stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 You just have to find someone who shares your same views. Believe me there are many girls that are ok with porn. Personally, I don't mind as long as he gives me MY time. Hey you can have fun with porn too!! You have to show her how porn can be a good thing Show her in can work in her favor not against her. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 If women hate porn, it's more than likely because they find it threatening. They think they're not good enough for the man so the man has to turn to porn to get off, or that the man may want to stray and cheat in the near future. And sadly, most of the time, they're COMPLETELY F*CKING WRONG. Most of the time, it's just an easy quick release and the porn is the tool to make it happen. That's it. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin If women hate porn, it's more than likely because they find it threatening. They think they're not good enough for the man so the man has to turn to porn to get off, or that the man may want to stray and cheat in the near future. And sadly, most of the time, they're COMPLETELY F*CKING WRONG. Most of the time, it's just an easy quick release and the porn is the tool to make it happen. That's it. I agree with that. I've never quite got the "porn is disrespectful to me" thing. If it's an addiction & it affects your sex life, then yes, it's a problem. Otherwise, what are you gonna do? Rip out the underwear sections of every catalogue in the house? said she had watched it and that Dr. Phil said that Porn is an addiction and your pretty much making your wife/gf feeling bad. Did she only start to feel bad after Dr. Phil told her to or has she always had a problem with your viewing porn? Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Another reason why Dr. Phil should be put in an iron maiden. Link to post Share on other sites
2KindKay Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I personally don't have a problem with porn. However, I do have to say that if my man would rather pop in a movie than have sex with... then it becomes a problem! Link to post Share on other sites
startingover1028 Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Another reason why Dr. Phil should be put in an iron maiden. So funny!!! I like the way you think!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I've never had a prob. with porn. I like it. But I think I agree with the idea that it's insecurity that makes women dislike it, because no person in their right mind would actually think that porn is real, or a substitute for a real sexual encounter. And I think people can be addicted to anything - computer games, playstation, porn, food, smoking, sex...it's not about what they're addicted to, it's about why they seek to distance themselves from reality. Link to post Share on other sites
BurningBright Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I'm a girl that asks my bf to watch porn with me! lol It turns me on, turns him on.... so (IMO) It's great! Like 2KindKay said... if he would rather pop in a video instead of having sex with me or if he were to not be able to have sex with me without watching porn(on a regular basis) then I would have a problem with his actions... not the porn itself. ~BurningBright Link to post Share on other sites
butterflygrl Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 hey idk im not bashing you at all im just telling you what is going on with my friends marriage with her h .. he gives her sex but he is still continuing with the porn .. if this bothers her and makes her feel unworthy than you have the decison to stop and make her feel worthy again .. maybe she thinks you would rather be with them than her even though you say she looks better whats the need if you already have a hot girl!!! take pictures of her for yourself and when you feel the need to look at porn put them on your computer and look at the porn of your girlfriend.. just a suggestion!!! Link to post Share on other sites
2KindKay Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by butterflygrl take pictures of her for yourself and when you feel the need to look at porn put them on your computer and look at the porn of your girlfriend.. just a suggestion!!! Why not make your own porn video? Then you wouldn't have to worry about them watching it..... Just a thought! Link to post Share on other sites
Queen B Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I agree Dr. Phil is an idiot and somewhat of a bully on his show... Do you think she'd watch with you if you promised to pick out one of the more couples oriented films..they're more erotica than hardcore and tend to have a fraction more story line than most porn. I don't mind porn but I find that after about 45 minutes regular porn gets boring so my BF and I compromise by going to the store and each picking something we like...and watching both together. I'd say that as long as your GF gets all the sex she needs...there's nothing wrong with you watching porn by yourself.....good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Ahhhh yes the lovely porn topic. While everyone is intitled to their opinon of it, heres mine. If you are single and want to view porn have at it. If you're married or in a committed relationship and you and your s/o want to use it as tool for spicing things up, more power to ya! However, if your partner doesn't like it, and you continue to do it knowing they don't like it, then its a disrespect to the person as a individual and to the relationship as a whole. If people truly cared how the other one felt about it they would stop for the sake of the realtionship. You stated in your post you wouldn't stop looking at it just because she didn't like it, sounds like you made your choice. Let her go, and you have fun yanking the wanky. __________________________________ "Don't argue with me, you wont win." Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Queen B I agree Dr. Phil is an idiot and somewhat of a bully on his show... LOL, Dr. Phil kinda does have a big mouth. And he seems to have this cult following. Hmmm, whatever works. Here's the dealio. You ask why women don't like it. I ask you, would men like it if women did it as much as men and in the same fashion? I think men would get a little worked up too. It's all about finding someone with your same viewpoints. There's a trillion people with every viewpoint! You have options. If you decide to stay commited to this woman (whom has an issue with porn) then give it up. Unless you are addicted? If you're not willing to give it up for your girlfriend (because it's making her self conscious) then find someone that can deal with your porn use. Geesh, it's really that easy people! My fiance and I have a deal. No porn. Period! If we ever decide to watch porn, we will watch it together. If I catch him with it, he's sh*t outta luck, and vice versa for me! It's about making a pact. Then sticking to it. You've got to be compatible on that issue or you guys will only tear each other apart. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 There are men and women who like porn; and there are men and women who don't. If your SO finds it disrespectful, distasteful, immoral, or whatever reason s/he is anti-porn -- then either don't view it, or find someone with the same principles and priorities as you. Sometimes you can compromise--but that is rare. Pornography seems to be an all-or-nothing subject. Just because your SO has a different view does not make his/her view "stupid" or wrong. I don't look at people who are pro-porn and think they are stupid or wrong. I've seen porn--I was young and curious too at one time. I understand how men (and women) can justify it's 'use'. I don't allow it in my home. My husband doesn't care because he loves me and respects me more then he ever 'enjoyed' pornography. I am not threatened at all by pornography -- it is simply against my own morals. If my husband and I had not lined up our priorities about this stuff then we would not have been married, or stayed married. I quit smoking for him because I value his priorities over smoking (and that was a VERY hard habit to break). What I don't understand is why so many people feel the need to denigrate those of us who are anti-porn, or why pornography proponents seem intent on forcing their views on others in an attempt to change someone's views, morals, or opinions on pornography. That, in my opinion, is a clear statement about the hold that pornography has over some people. Note: Pornography and masturbation are two different subjects. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hokey, well put! Glad your H stopped out of respect for you. That was my point in my post I made above. If some people want it so bad and the other one doesn't they either come to a compromise or they get out of the relationship so they can do whatever they want. Guess some people want their cake and eat it too. Rarely does it work that way. ______________________________ "Don't argue with me, you wont win." Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by HokeyReligions What I don't understand is why so many people feel the need to denigrate those of us who are anti-porn, or why pornography proponents seem intent on forcing their views on others in an attempt to change someone's views, morals, or opinions on pornography. That, in my opinion, is a clear statement about the hold that pornography has over some people. I totally agree. Don't slam me for hating porn. I won't slam you for loving it. It's a preference. I may think it's nasty, demeaning, pure filth...but as long as it's used with moderation and consent....that's your thing. Just make sure both parties are in agreement. People get mad because you're telling them what they do not want to hear. They don't want to HAVE to make a choice. It's easier to fall accustomed to your surroundings and go with the flow. I think that's natural. And I've used porn. But not behind someones back or against their request. Respect your mate. It's simple. If you can't respect that, do them a favor, leave. Link to post Share on other sites
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