nervous

[notgetting]

My leaving would make this ok??? No.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

My leaving would make this ok??? No.

 

Your leaving would clean up 1/2 of this cluster.

 

The other half is you need an available guy. Not a married guy.

[fanine]

My leaving would make this ok??? No.

 

No it would not be okay even if you left as this guy is married. Even if he is showing interest. He is taken, he has a family. Do you want to hurt his wife? You say limited contact but it doesnt sound like there is even much of an emotional connection. So you could possibly ruin two marriages and hurt people for a cheap thrill?

 

As the other poster said either leave and date single men, or if your husband is happy for it, have an open relationship where you see single men.

 

Not married, not anyone with girlfriends.

[notgetting]

We don't work for same company. So jobs are least of the worry. If I wasn't considering all people involved I wouldve done already. I don't want emotionless sex.

[AlwaysGrowing]

Life is about choices. Just as you want to have them, so do others.

 

If your choice is to sleep with other men, then tell your SO about it. Let him make his own choices. Do not threaten or be passive about it. Be straight forward, tell him, that you have met someone that you would like to sleep with.

 

I still am not going to condone sleeping with someones husband though.

[fanine]

We don't work for same company. So jobs are least of the worry. If I wasn't considering all people involved I wouldve done already. I don't want emotionless sex.

 

 

Errrrrrrr nobody is talking about your job. that is not the issue. It is your MARRIAGE and your feelings of self respect.

 

You are not considering any of the people involved except yourself.

 

This will be emotionless sex however as you do not appear to have much contact. You just seen attracted to the attention he is giving you.

Edited September 6, 2013 by fanine

[It-is-what-it-is.]

We don't work for same company. So jobs are least of the worry. If I wasn't considering all people involved I wouldve done already. I don't want emotionless sex.

 

It's easy enough to read on this very site, the agony that OW/OM go through. You are early enough that you don't have to go down this path. It's not like anyone is saying to live forever in a sexless relationship. Just finish one relationship before you add another. It is just so destructive, for yourself AND the spouses, children, friends, and family of the married/committed people.

 

But it sounds like you want to do this, no matter what people say, but you will live to regret this, you will be participating in the destruction of others, and you will likely end up alone, and with the guilt to deal with.

 

He will likely stay married, move on to the next OW, but will not end up with you.

 

But I do suggest you read some of the posts in the OM/OW section. Most of them are just heartbreaking.

[notgetting]

Someone did say something about us being fired that is why I addressed that.

I am already being convicted of something I have only thought about doing. I have never step outside this relationship...wish I could fix it. But trying gets me nowhere. And I really don't need u guys to make me feel bad I already do

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Someone did say something about us being fired that is why I addressed that.

I am already being convicted of something I have only thought about doing. I have never step outside this relationship...wish I could fix it. But trying gets me nowhere. And I really don't need u guys to make me feel bad I already do

 

Not sure where to start. Met a man that works in my building. We were friendly. He's married and 10 yrs younger. One day I started seeing him differently. Just figured it was a silly crush and wouldn't amount to anything. I have been with same man 15 yrs just turned 41. No way he would be interested. Well he is and I am worried. I have already decided to cheat, that's not what worries me. I am nervous because sex for past 13 yrs has been missionary and once or twice a year. I am not allowed to touch him and he doesn't want oral sex ever. Don't know what it is about the younger guy but I want him so bad. Afraid it will be a disaster and what would be an affair will be a one niter we both will regret. Should I save myself the greef?

 

 

You asked. We answered. Save yourself (and everyone else) the grief.

[Goodbye]

Not sure where to start. Met a man that works in my building. We were friendly. He's married and 10 yrs younger. One day I started seeing him differently. Just figured it was a silly crush and wouldn't amount to anything. I have been with same man 15 yrs just turned 41. No way he would be interested. Well he is and I am worried. I have already decided to cheat, that's not what worries me. I am nervous because sex for past 13 yrs has been missionary and once or twice a year. I am not allowed to touch him and he doesn't want oral sex ever. Don't know what it is about the younger guy but I want him so bad. Afraid it will be a disaster and what would be an affair will be a one niter we both will regret. Should I save myself the greef?

 

 

This is a joke, right?

 

If it isn't a joke...this question seems to be about sex only, as you've said the cheating aspect is not a factor. Perhaps you should go to a sex forum to discuss your issues?

 

 

And, yes...you should save everyone involved the "greef."

[waterwoman]

OK, so you want some extramarital sex and you reckon your partner is OK with it. But please find someone single. Is it really that difficult?

[carhill]

It appears the OP is in a life partnership rather than a legal marriage with common law aspects being unknown.

 

Given the partner apparently rarely engages in sex (I saw once or twice a year) and specifically requests OP not touch him, it appears he's constructively abandoned the intimate relationship voluntarily. Lifestyle maintenance, along with family appearances, due to older/adult children, apparently are a mitigating factor wrt terminating the public partnership.

 

IMO, your best bet is a private arrangement with your partner which preserves your lifestyle and remedies his constructive abandonment. I would consider this current potential inappropriate, unless and until a similar suitable arrangement could be arrived at on his end, with all parties disclosed. Another, unattached male, would present fewer obstacles. I understand you have experienced some limmerence with this married man. That's normal. The ring has power and married men are generally very relaxed and convincing. You happened to find this one attractive. There will be others.

 

How you deal with this today is something which will be forever a part of your life. If you're OK with your course of action, you accept the consequences which may attend. We all have choices in life and, with those choices, come consequences. Think it through. Good luck.

[bentleychic]

And what was his reaction, in case you stated it and we missed it?

 

I can't even imagine how that conversation would even go and how to go about asking.

A friend of mine that asked her H for an open marriage said that request ended in him going outside to shoot guns.

 

I cannot imagine anyone agreeing to it unless they were indeed in a sexless marriage and were truly only room mates/house mates and nothing more than friends. (And both were fully aware of that fact.) Even then I'm not sure many would react favorably to that request.

[notgetting]

He just says he doesn't ever desire sex. Thought maybe it was me so I dropped weight now I am thinner than when we first met. Not that. Thought maybe he's not straight and unwilling to admit to self. Really don't think its that either.

[notgetting]

Don't know about anything anymore. Thanks for the replies.will deal with home first then don't know.

Bye