troubled Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 scared and confused.... i met my best friend this summer. we worked together in a bar. we hit if off from the time we met. i have spent pretty much everyday with her or i at least talk to her everyday. we have the best times together, we travel and try to go out for drinks every opportunity we get. she is my best friend in the world. i feel like i have known here my entire life! it is my last year in college and through out my entire life i have never felt this way for anyone. she goes out and spends the night with other guys and i do the same with other girls...and that OK. she has recently been spending time with a guy that i know, not a best friend just a friend. this bothers me, i am i guess a little jealous but most of all i do not want to see her get hurt! that is what upsets me. these past few weekends we have been traveling alot and everything is starting to make sense. i truly feel that i have fallen for this girl. she is my best friend and means the world to me! i would do anything for this woman. i am always thinking about her and i work my ass off in the bar so i can take her out for good times. what do i do? HOW DO I TELL HER THIS: I love the way that she never wears shoes and her feet are always dirty. I love that she is a messy eater and spills food everywhere. I love that she smoke cigarettes and has a raspy voice because of it. I love the way she makes me feel when we are laughing and having fun. I love the way that her bedroom is just as messy as mine. I love that she has to wear her glasses all of the time and can not see without them. I love that when she falls down and gets hurt I am the first person she turns to for help. I love that when we are together there is never a moment of silence. I love the feeling that I get inside when she brushes up against me or places her hand on my shoulder. IT IS THE HOME-RUN, OUT OF THE PARK, REACH FOR THE STARS KIND OF LOVE!!!! It is eating me alive ... I do not want to loose the amazing friendship we have, but I love her so much ... what do I do? Thanks for listening! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Tell her;) How do you know she doesn't feel the same way?! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I agree...tell her...but do it right. Tell her all the things that you admire about her...then slowly move in for a long, slow, moist yet closemouthed kiss. I predict SUCCESS!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 i know that i should tell her, but what approach will not scare her away if she does not feel the same. it is hard for me because i first fell in love with her as a friend and that is amazing, but now i feel so much more for her! how do i act when i see her with other guys... like my friends? should i start backing away and not being there all of the time..maybe it will help her realize how she feels? what actions can i do to help her see that maybe i do feel more for this guy than just friendship? are there signs that i should be looking for when i am with her? i have heard that there are only 3 great woman in your life... your mom, sister and your one love... i think i found it and do not know what to do Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Buddy: You tell this woman that you love or care for her and you will ruin a great friendship. You are just a friend, she is not sexually attracted to you in any way. If she was sexually attracted to you then she'd be sleeping w/ you and not your friend! By the way, how exactly does someone get a "best friend" after knowing the person for 3 or 4 months?? All my best friends I have known for 15 or 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author troubled Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 your are right . i feel that timing is everything. it is just hard to except the facts when so many feelings are involved. positive: maybe i am just missing signs. i just do not know what to look for. i am also sleeping with her friends. i appreciate your feedback when you are with someone everyday for 3 or 4 months you become really close to them. the time we have shared and all of the self disclosure...makes us pretty close. i guess time really does not matter. i feel best friends are how well you know eachother and the appreciation you have for one another. time just makes it better and stronger. you know a great thing when it enters your life. a person can change your life in one day! does time really matter or does it just make or does it just make it stronger Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by troubled i am also sleeping with her friends. Oh see, I didn't know you were sleeping with HER FRIENDS... I don't know troubled... heres how that works among MY Friends and Me... You DON'T date, hook up or have sex with your Friends boyfriend, (God Forbid) Husband, Potential Love interest... regardless IF the boyfriend OR husband are an EX.. and the Love interest.. well it's just not cool to go after a guy/girl you know your friend has an interest in. So if she and her friends are anything like mine... while she may be your best friend.. that may be ALL she will ever be. Not a good move to sleep with her friends IF you had an interest in HER. My two cents Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 heres how that works among MY Friends and Me... You DON'T date, hook up or have sex with your Friends boyfriend, (God Forbid) Husband, Potential Love interest... regardless IF the boyfriend OR husband are an EX.. and the Love interest.. well it's just not cool to go after a guy/girl you know your friend has an interest in. the above is a nice idealistic statement in a perfect world but in the REAL WORLD I see women trying to steal boyfriends and hubbies away from their female friends all the time. I have been hit on by friends of my girlfriend. When it comes to having a PARTICULAR man, no woman has any friends in the female world. In other words, when it comes to men it is EVERY WOMAN FOR HERSELF. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale the above is a nice idealistic statement in a perfect world but in the REAL WORLD I see women trying to steal boyfriends and hubbies away from their female friends all the time. I have been hit on by friends of my girlfriend. When it comes to having a PARTICULAR man, no woman has any friends in the female world. In other words, when it comes to men it is EVERY WOMAN FOR HERSELF. Alphamale... I wasn't talking about an "Ideal world" I was talking about MY WORLD. And thanks for the "tips" about what YOU percieve to be the "Female world" but uh.. being that I'm actually a female, I think I have a pretty good idea of what it's like I never said in my post that ALL females think the way my friends and myself think.. see that would be saying that ALL female's are the same, think the same, want the same things, or like the same things in a guy for that matter. I stand by what I said regarding MY friend's and MYSELF. Link to post Share on other sites
masala Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Maybe I'm just weird, but if a guy told me any of the things you said about her... Well... I would be really, really, happy... Link to post Share on other sites
exotic_angel Posted November 21, 2004 Share Posted November 21, 2004 hey troubled.. wow u have really fallen for this girl and for so many right reasons.. i know it's hard but one day casually when u're jus chillin say to her, slowly all the things u feel.. u can't jus keep waiting and wodnering.. it seems like she's really easy to talk to and by telling ur "friend" that u love being with her is a win win situation.. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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