26 and dont want to date...

[hotpotato]

Cause for concern?

 

Is it really that abnormal for people this age to have little or no desire to date?

 

Already I have people trying to convince me I need to be out there. As of now, I am actively avoiding members of the opposite sex.

 

One individual, who is divorced and just got dumped, tried to convince me of the necessity of finding love.

 

He told me people get tired of material objects and often try to replace them. Buut is that not what people do to each other?

 

He said I'm just to hot and beautiful to not date, lots of men would want me, yadda yadda. He said I wont be beautiful much longer. Nice, I know.

[gaius]

Is it really that abnormal for people this age to have little or no desire to date?

No, it's just unusual to be that honest about it. Tons of women start dating profiles with no real intention of getting into a relationship. They just want to look like they're trying so they don't get labeled as weird.

[Ebelskiver]

Don't worry about it. When you're ready, you'll be ready. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to be happy, content, and engaged in your life while you're single. Then when you meet someone, you truly have something to offer.

 

Besides.....26.....seriously???? You've got all the time in the world. I'm 37, and honestly, I've never looked or felt better.

[SubliminalSessions]

Tons of people start dating profiles with no real intention of getting into a relationship. They just want to look like they're trying so they don't get labeled as weird.

 

I find that a bit hard to believe. If someone doesn't want to do something, why look like you're doing it? If anything...they doing it to get attention. They don't want to date, but they like the phone calls, the messages, the game playing.

 

That's not "okay" as you're making it seem. People want to waste their time bull****ting people, yet they claim they don't want to hear it when someone steps in their face and check their ass. Well...what the **** are you doing here if you not looking for ****? Get your ass off the site if you just playing games. You should have better things to do with your time, than to be trying to get attention from people you don't even know.

 

People who do stuff like that, are unauthentic.

[gaius]

I find that a bit hard to believe. If someone doesn't want to do something, why look like you're doing it? If anything...they doing it to get attention. They don't want to date, but they like the phone calls, the messages, the game playing.

 

That's not "okay" as you're making it seem. People want to waste their time bull****ting people, yet they claim they don't want to hear it when someone steps in their face and check their ass. Well...what the **** are you doing here if you not looking for ****? Get your ass off the site if you just playing games. You should have better things to do with your time, than to be trying to get attention from people you don't even know.

 

People who do stuff like that, are unauthentic.

I don't doubt attention seeking has to do with it a lot of times, but then you run into these people who absolutely rush to give you the latest update on their dating life. Seem to have impossible standards. Even though they're perpetually single and it never works out for them. I don't know if they're trying to fool themselves or the rest of us but it's major overcompensating either way.

 

I really prefer when someone just comes out and says they don't want to date. Admire honesty like that.

[ltjg45]

Is it really that abnormal for people this age to have little or no desire to date?

 

No, I don't think so if that person has enough bad dating experiences to the point where he or she just doesn't give it much thought to continue.

 

Dating, at this day and age, is basically a game. Either you win or you lose. There is an actual result at the end of all of this madness. Every man and woman that plays this game is all just a bunch of game pieces on the board and the board is the entire world that the pieces get to play on.

 

The aim of the game is two-fold:

1. To find your partner and ultimately get married.

2. To play the field as much as you like without committing.

 

Some "players" (when referring to the Dating Game only) uses both of the endgames as their goals at the same time, making their intentions unfaithful. Also, with the number of ways to hide your own intentions and some being smarter at it than others, it takes a lot of time to figure out if your partner is the one worth committing to, making the game overall harder on its own merit.

 

It's not a fun game to play. I have a 21-year old who I asked out, told me that she would go out with me but she has a boyfriend. I have her number and is currently texting her from time to time. I also noticed that, while she does have a boyfriend, she doesn't have a strong relationship with him and, from the looks of it, I can see a break-up happening in the near future. Lastly, she has also mentioned to me about being roommates with me in the same place.

 

Normally, the advice here would tell me to leave her alone since she is clearly not available even though she has shown interest in me. Another possibility is that she could be keeping me as an option while sticking with her BF. It makes sense from both angles.

 

However, when I play a game, I have to consider that the game can end in many ways and another lesson I learned is this: You can't win if you don't play. My many years in trading card games and video games has proven this to me multiple times so, for the time being, I'm willing to play this game in hopes that I do get with her at the end.

 

As for others, I can't blame them if they feel there is too much "game-playing" for their own good. Like McCastle has said, dating should be stress-free, not another job and yet that is exactly what dating has become and some smart people just decided to opt out and just the chips fall as they may.

 

So, no, I don't think it's abnormal anymore for a 26-year old to actually stop dating. It's a cutthroat world out there these days.

[hotpotato]

Nothing unusual about it. I'm 26, and I, too, don't have any real desire to date. Or maybe we're both unusual?

 

The important thing in life, I think, is to follow your own desires. Don't listen to what other people expect/want of you, because their standards and their goals are not necessarily going to pair up with yours.

 

I don't feel the pressure to date like other people do. I don't know if it's because I'm a born introvert, or if it's because I'm not in a place conducive to having a relationship. Maybe it's a bit of both. I do sometimes get pangs when I think having a partner would be nice, but they are short-lived.

 

My friend says it's because I'm so "picky." I didn't know that was a problem because I'd rather be picky than settle for the first guy that rides up on his donkey, and in his tin foil "armour." You are going to get a bit of "time's a ticking" nonsense, but you have to do what's right for you. There's no hard and fast rule about when you ought to be "shacked" up by.

 

I'm an introvert,too.

I spent 11 years as an only child and only grandchild, so much of the time I had to learn to entertain myself.

 

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be in a relationship in theory. In reality it doesn't seem like a lot of fun.

[emva07]

I'm an introvert,too.

I think it would be nice to be in a relationship in theory. In reality it doesn't seem like a lot of fun.

 

This is very true!

 

i'm 25 and yes dating sounds wonderful, I was even in a relationship. But ugh, it's so much on your plate with trying to get your career in order, grad school, happy hours, etc etc. It can be such a nag.

 

We live in a time where priorities have shifted. It's ok for women to also have ambition and want a career, to be selfish and not want commitment because they have goals in life, as opposed to just have the dream of being a wife and mother.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still want that one day, but when I'M ready, not when society tells me. I want to have a good life going for myself before I start all that.

[StanMusial]

I'd keep an eye on it. If you don't want to date, that's fine, don't date. But don't let life pass you by.

[EasyHeart]

I think it depends on WHY you don't want to date.

 

If you're busy, working towards other goals and actively happy with your life, so you simply don't prioritize dating, that's fine. If you're afraid to date because of some emotional trauma or something, that's different.

 

Also, I think it's important to get some dating practice when you're in your teens and twenties. Otherwise you'll end up being one of these 35 or 40 year olds who act like they're 15 because they have no idea how to interact with the opposite sex in a grownup way.

[hotpotato]

One wonders why you spend time on a forum about dating and relationships when you have zero intrest in it.

 

I got dumped and came here. You wont get rid of me that easily.

[hppr]

Cause for concern?

 

Is it really that abnormal for people this age to have little or no desire to date?

 

Already I have people trying to convince me I need to be out there. As of now, I am actively avoiding members of the opposite sex.

 

One individual, who is divorced and just got dumped, tried to convince me of the necessity of finding love.

 

He told me people get tired of material objects and often try to replace them. Buut is that not what people do to each other?

 

He said I'm just to hot and beautiful to not date, lots of men would want me, yadda yadda. He said I wont be beautiful much longer. Nice, I know.

 

If you have no desire to date it's probably because of other things going on in your life. When I was like that the real problem was that I was down and out in my work and social life. As soon as the work situation changed I had more money so I went out more often and then everything became much different.

[hotpotato]

Why dont I want to date?

 

Dating is high risk and low return.

 

The people I know who are happiest dont spend years dating. They marry their high school sweetheart or someone they met in college or someone they met at work. They have gotten lucky.

 

Im tired of finding someone, doing most of the work, then they leave.

 

Work makee it hard but not impossible today. I would need someone who is fine seeing me on the weekend only most weeks.

[hotpotato]

I think it depends on WHY you don't want to date.

 

If you're busy, working towards other goals and actively happy with your life, so you simply don't prioritize dating, that's fine. If you're afraid to date because of some emotional trauma or something, that's different.

 

Also, I think it's important to get some dating practice when you're in your teens and twenties. Otherwise you'll end up being one of these 35 or 40 year olds who act like they're 15 because they have no idea how to interact with the opposite sex in a grownup way.

 

I have a good bit of dating experience. My problem would be getting set in my ways. I'm getting accustomed to doing what i want, when I want without answering to anybody.

 

 

I have suddenly become hot isht. Now even guys my own age are hitting on me. I guess people want what they can't have, and my K.Stew mean mug isn't keeping them away.

[Maleficent]

Hey it's your life! You do (or don't do) whatever the hell you want!

 

To be honest, we are currently having a friend over who just broke up with his girlfriend.

He is so torn up and sad, I am so happy to be single right now.

Poor guy.

[hotpotato]

Hey it's your life! You do (or don't do) whatever the hell you want!

 

To be honest, we are currently having a friend over who just broke up with his girlfriend.

He is so torn up and sad, I am so happy to be single right now.

Poor guy.

 

Yep. More and more I feel like im dodging a bullet.

[Babolat]

I have not dated in almost 6 months. Longest streak in my life. I am 47.

 

I am getting a little set in my ways. I have made some new friends, one of which is a woman, and we spend almost every weekend together. I like the relationship as it is and do not want the drama of dating. She has said the same to friends of ours who have asked her why we do not date.

 

I have been the dumper in my last 4 dating relationships. I was the dumpee in my divorce, though after about 2 weeks apart i was glad she initiated the break up, so I pushed hard to make it happen as she was not doing anything to make it happen.

 

There is a lot to be said for the comment about weekends. I am very busy during the week, and now my weekends are getting full.

 

I do miss sex, intimacy, affection, having that someone special to talk to and share life with....I have a cat, maybe I will get a dog too!

[dichotomy]

You had a relationship end badly, you have dated before, you want some "me time" right now and don't want to get out there in the meat market gealing with the drama or loss or risk. Sounds very normal to me.

 

I would only think you might want to take this time to think about your future while you take a break. What do you want to see or be when you hit 30? 40? I am not saying thats happily married and 2.5 kids - it may be something else.

[Luckydad]

I'm 42 and haven't been on a date in almost 4 years. Like Babolat, I too miss sex and intimacy but realize that there is more to life. I try to keep fairly busy and maintain a positive attitude.

 

When I began this lifestyle choice, I initially set my limit at 1 year. After one year came to pass, I extended the goal to 2 years. 2 became 3, 3 became 4..Lather, rinse, repeat...

 

What's happened is that I now am so set in my ways, I honestly don't ever see myself dating/having any kind of romantic relationship ever again. And it doesn't make me sad, angry, or anything of the sort. I accept the outcome of the choice I made and am comfortable growing old alone.

 

Besides avoiding the huge risk of relationships, I believe being alone makes me a stronger individual. Just my 2 cents.

[hotpotato]

I actually got the pangs to date!

 

I didn't though. Instead I found some male chat buddies. Problem solved!

[nessaaa]

26. You should be single.

 

What are u missing out on in the dating world?- love? Love, pain, worries comes with headaches, nag. Have fun with your friends!

 

There's nothing abnormal about you. What's abnormal is peoolebthinking they need to be in a relationship and feel dependant on someone else to make them happy and fulfilled.