Is it time to let go!

[jangle04]

What to do! I found my wife at a hotel with a co-worker. She had been telling me for about a month that she wasn't happy and needed some time to find herself. She had denied there was anyone else. I had suspected this guy and questioned her many times about it. Anyway that's a long story and I've posted before about it.

 

The night I discovered her she had said she needed to leave and go get a hotel that night. She just needed some time to herself to think. Later on something told me to go looking for her and I discovered her at a hotel a half mile from her work. His car was there too. I asked the desk clerk and they had checked in under his name. I called up to the room. They wouldn't let me come up. Eventually she let me come up and I promised not to start any trouble. She told me she just needed someone to talk to and called him because she didn't have the money to pay for the hotel room. I know that's not true. If she really planned on staying the night she knows it would have been on our statement.

 

She told me he was trying to convince her to go home. She said she was going to come home soon and just needed someone to talk to. You can read into it yourself. I'm not stupid either. The fact is she has denied anything happened up and down and has me almost believing her. I have been willing to forgive her. Now after a week or so I just can't do it. I know she is a liar but I'm having so much trouble letting her go. I treated her so good and loved her so much I want to believe she's telling me the truth. I asked what she was going to tell me when she got home and she said she didn't know. If she was going to lie about where she's been why wouldn't she lie about that. I don't know if I can ever trust her again. I think I just have to let go.

[archangelite]

Man, i would have let her go the second she said she needed time apart. I think she wants to cheat and not feel guilty about it, in that case saying she wants time apart. Time apart=do whatever you want to do. and as for that night in the hotel, i sincerely think they were going at it cuz they delayed opening the door for you. I say leave her already, its gonna be hard but its only gonna get worse if you stay.

[babybear]

Her marriage vows obviously don't mean anythign to her. There are other ways to have time to yourself and to think that dont involve a hotel room and another man. She could visit a family member, or a friend, etc. Anyway, I think the only thing she's sorry about , is that you found her out when she was with another man.

 

You dont deserve the disrespect, adn then to be fed all of her lies. Cheating is the worst..i've been there. And she'll put you thru it....all so she can screw around with some other guy? Save yourself the heartache and send her packing. FInd a real woman who will treat you right.

 

 

Bb

[alphamale]

Dude;

You have lost control of this woman, she has ZERO respect for you. The only way you can reclaim your DIGNITY is to divorce her lying butt and move on with your life.

 

This sounds like typical "nice guy syndrome" wherein a spineless jellyfish of a man gets taken advantage of a woman once again.

 

What you need to do is become a not-so-nice guy and start kicking some butt!

[jangle04]

Well the saga has now ended. I caught her at a bar with him Friday night and confronted her about it. I had the kids in the car and ran inside. She lied about him being there when I came inside but I found him in the bathroom. I stormed out and went home. She ended up going to stay with him that night and called me the next morning saying she was on the way home. I asked where she stayed and she said where do you think I stayed. Very very cold.

 

She packed up all her things at got one of those roommates wanted deals. I am now left with the responsibilities of the house and kids. She has started a second job too working nights on the weekend to pay for her new place. She sees the kids a couple hours a day and the rest seems to be left up to me. She won't talk to me and says she's not ready to talk to me about it. She now gets to live the best of both worlds with just seeing the kids on her terms and able to come and go with him whenever she wants.

 

She seems to show no emotions or sorrow for the way she has destroyed me and our kids lives. She is so wound up with this guy that it is just amazing. I tried my best to make her happy by being a good father and husband and I treated her good. She turns it all around on me and tries to justify it by finding a way to say I pushed her away. I started to question her about things when I knew something was going on. If she wants to say that's how I pushed her away that's fine. She always seemed very distant around me lately. The worst part is I was almost driven to the point of losing my mind with all her lies and all she says is she's sorry. No more or any sympathy. It is totally amazing. How could anyone just be so selfish and what can I do to make her realize the damage she has caused. I know I should just keep my mouth shut and I've said some hurtful things to her since all this has happened but she just doesn't understand or see the pain she has caused me. I loved her so much and this is what I get?