Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Gosh I hate having to post about relationship & dating problems. I like posting in the Water Coller etc way better!!!! That means I have no real big problem, but here I am again on the dating side My ex (husband) who is now my best friend has been saying that we make a great couple, he gives me compliments, gives me presents, talks about the past. He told me that it would be nice if we got back together. I don't know about that. We had BIG issues when we were together, I mean BIG!!!!!!!! He has changed a lot and does so much for me, but I don't want to feel obligated because all that he does for me. At times I want to get back because I want someone to call my own. I want to get rid of the sour taste that MM left in my mouth. I want to feel loved, but I don't want to use him and that's what I think it would feel like. I dunno. What do I do?? Do I give him a chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Can you address some of the reasons you've split or is that something you'd rather not bring up? It might help us with insight for you! Oh yeah and getting with someone just so that you're not alone anymore isn't always the best choice to make. If you have feelings for him then that's a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 you have an ex husband!!!! OMG!!!! i would've never known! DUH!!!!!!!....or he was a MM....i think thats it! Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 How long have you been divorced? How long we're you togeather? Do you want to be married again? Don't do it because you feel sorry for him!! And why the heck is he still your friend? You have no children right? Link to post Share on other sites
Taken_Angel Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe you have an ex husband!!!! OMG!!!! i would've never known! DUH!!!!!!!....or he was a MM....i think thats it! I think she was with her MM and her ex husband are two different people. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 naive~ hon, clear it up...were you married or dating a married man? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Wow Naive...there is a chance you could reconcile with your ex? Do you feel in your heart it could work out this time? I know so many people have asked you questions on here...Sorry to bombard you! As Taken and others said, if you don't really have feelings for him then getting back with him in a new relationship to ease your lonliness might not be the best idea. But we don't know how you actually feel about him so it's kind of hard to advise you right now. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 You left him for a reason Naive. You probably left him for the right one. You cheated for a reason too (something was missing). Don't let the pain diminish. It's still pain, just expired pain. It's not as fresh in your mind how unhappy you were. It's the law of diminishing effect. It happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I agree with tiki in a sense..if you had a painful breakup (I don't know your story) then you probably shouldn't get back involved with him. If you cheated on him then it would probably be hard for both of you to get past it (if this is the case again I don't know your story and am just fishing here).... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I was in a similiar sitchie (in that my ex wanted me to reconcile).....ewwww. What a weird feeling, especially after I had begun to date. No way, man! I keep my relationship with my ex very business like. If he complimented me I'd barf right after I racked him in the chestnuts. - That just about covers my feeling on 'going back'. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe you have an ex husband!!!! OMG!!!! i would've never known! DUH!!!!!!!....or he was a MM....i think thats it! Hey tattoo Don't be confused . Let me clear this up a bit. I got married when I was like 18 to my highschool sweetheart then we seperated and that's when I started to see MM (ughh now that some time has passed i feel so ashamed to mention that I've been with a MM ) Originally posted by Stone How long have you been divorced? How long we're you togeather? Do you want to be married again? Don't do it because you feel sorry for him!! And why the heck is he still your friend? You have no children right? Well we are not completely divorced. We were together for about 5 yrs including marriage, but have known each other for about 10. We're stll friends because we have always been each other's support. We were best friends since jr. high and then we got together. He was my fist in everything. NO NO no childrens yet Stone, even though I want a lot of them!!! I'll clear it all up in a bit and answer to the other replies ASAP, I have to go to lunch break though. I know it's confusing Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tattoomytoe naive~ hon, clear it up...were you married or dating a married man? Originally posted by Barby I agree with tiki in a sense..if you had a painful breakup (I don't know your story) then you probably shouldn't get back involved with him. If you cheated on him then it would probably be hard for both of you to get past it (if this is the case again I don't know your story and am just fishing here).... I will clear it all up as soon as I come back from lunch Thanks you guys, see you soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Stone Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I say move on and keep him as a friend. DONT SLEEP WITH HIM!!! YOur young, go date a bunch of guys untill you find one that knocks your socks off You shouldn't settle for anyone always remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Hey tattoo Don't be confused . Let me clear this up a bit. I got married when I was like 18 to my highschool sweetheart then we seperated and that's when I started to see MM (ughh now that some time has passed i feel so ashamed to mention that I've been with a MM ) oh honey, do not feel shame....i have done really bad things too. but just keep it as friends with the ex. nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 You're still married to him? ~okay, please hurry and come back from lunch. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tiki You're still married to him? ~okay, please hurry and come back from lunch. i know...this is some cluster-f***e of info here! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Hey girls. Okay so here it goes................ My ex and I met right after my mom passed away. We were only kids. I liked him right off the bat. He would always make me laugh and I guess he helped me not think about the bad things going on in my life in that time. He did not like me at all as a gf because I was puny and quiet. Well a few years after he went to and all boy school and I went to a foster home so we lost contact. When I decided to call him he sounded different.....older. We saw each other and my feelings re-surfaced. We became bf & gf after 2 months. After that we shared everything. He was my first and I was his. After two years he started to change and act different. It started with telling me that I was becoming a fat a** and that I was ugly. Then it became to very strong verbal abuse. That's when I developed Agoraphobia and had to stick to him because he was the only one that knew Well after it got worse and he would physically abuse me. When this happen I let go of myself and really gained weight, I had a low self-esteem and that's when MM came along (well he was not married then). He treated me like a princess and gave me that care that I needed so badly. However I did not cheat on my then BF. I would just talk a lot to this guy. When I finally decided that it was too much I left my BF and got with this guy. I went through a lot of things. Until then he realized what he had done and it was too late. Thie other guy, who we'll call Mr.Nobody, was a GREAT person with me. Treated me great. Eventually I had to let him go because my condition got in the way too much, plus my dad did not like him. To heal my sorrow I call my ex and eventually got back together and as a spur of the moment thing we got married in Hollywood He never went back to being the same but I just did not feel the love there anymore because I still loved Mr.Nobody. That's my story. Sorry it took so long Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Damn, way to keep people on the edge...phew. I still stick to my original comments. And it wasn't long! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Damn, way to keep people on the edge...phew. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Wow, what a past! Am I the only one who is such a bore?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by kooky Wow, what a past! Am I the only one who is such a bore?? You are not a bore kooky!!! But boy do I wish sometimes I were!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 So many people have experienced so many bad things, I feel like a spoiled brat sometimes.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by kooky So many people have experienced so many bad things, I feel like a spoiled brat sometimes.... Well you are lucky that you have not experienced many bad things. Que suerte la tuya kooky;) Link to post Share on other sites
tokyo Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Tú también! Hm, come to think of it, did you just wish me luck?? I´m afraid I just speak the Spanish of the Spanish.... God, I think I`m going to bed now, seems like I´m not very productive anymore, I´m starting to write crap.... Link to post Share on other sites
JackieQ Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 you said he's changed a lot? do you think the changes would make a difference in the BIG problems you guys had? I think people change so much about the time they are 18-20, a couple years can really make you look at things differently and behave differently. Might be worth a second chance IF you still love him. but I'd take it very slo. Link to post Share on other sites
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