brighteyes Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 I have been seeing a guy for just over a month now we are not technically dating we just hang out together at school as wel as in our free time. I really like him. I have known him for a little over 3 months just after both of us got out of horrible relationships. And we clicked right from the beginning. I have been looking for a great guy for along time. The problem is we aren't really dating and I would like to and I am pretty sure he would to. I have just never had a guy take so long to start dating me before it is nice but frustrating. What does it mean when a guy takes a while to ask a girl to date exclusively? Should i just cut my losses and move on or should I continue pursuing him? For me this relationship could be a really intense couple thing or really good friends which we already are.Either one would be great but I need to know if i should quell these feelings or not. Do you think i should ask him or drop hints or something or just leave it alone? HOw should I go about this? Some insite would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 Hmm. Men would hesitate about going out with a woman they were attracted for two reasons. The first is that he's scared of being rejected and chickens out of asking her out. The second is that there is something about her personality, or her past, or anything about her, that makes him wonder whether dating her exclusively is such a good idea. There may be warnings 'signs' alchohol abuse ,or infidelity,or maybe he's not sure if she's over her previous relationship. She may also be emotional 'unapproachable', acting in a way hard to make connections with. Or he may simply be unsure of the long term chances of a relationship, or maybe realize that all though he like a woman, he might not have that 'special' feeling for her. Or it could have nothing to do with any of that, it it might a personality thing he has. Who knows, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonflys Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Hi I respectfully disagree with Rogue here No, give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I think it is great that he is taking this slow. Its VERY easy for us to get mixed into what Tony refers to as 'chemicals'. If we jump headlong into the chemical reaction, you never know how you may come out of it. Hey, you might have a great guy here who is trying to secure with you something long-term. In this case, it takes a while to learn about the ins-and-out of the other person. I feel that if you think this is going well and you are both clicking, then go with it as it is. You will still get the chemicals, but there will be a little more certainty behind them. Of course what you do will depend on what you want. Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 When guys are ready to date and are attracted to a person, nothing can stop them and their love object has not doubt about his feelings. When a woman has so many doubts about where the man stands, that is a warning sign that he is not all that interested. Emperor Napolean wrote to his beloved Josephine every day from the battlefields of Europe to let he know how much he loved her. If the most powerful man in the western world (at his time) found time to declare his love every day, a regular guy with regular obligations can also find the time to declare himself to the one he loves. That is why I say that if you don't know where the man stands, you don't have to drag it out of him, he readily shows it. Hi I respectfully disagree with Rogue here No, give this guy the benefit of the doubt. I think it is great that he is taking this slow. Its VERY easy for us to get mixed into what Tony refers to as 'chemicals'. If we jump headlong into the chemical reaction, you never know how you may come out of it. Hey, you might have a great guy here who is trying to secure with you something long-term. In this case, it takes a while to learn about the ins-and-out of the other person. I feel that if you think this is going well and you are both clicking, then go with it as it is. You will still get the chemicals, but there will be a little more certainty behind them. Of course what you do will depend on what you want. Oliver Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts