cif Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Just wondering if other men would forget or love us less after having a child with the wife. Mine still tries to contact me, I'm NC, but if i were to respond would he be willing to leave his newborn to be with me? Anyone have a similar experience? Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Just wondering if other men would forget or love us less after having a child with the wife. Mine still tries to contact me, I'm NC, but if i were to respond would he be willing to leave his newborn to be with me? Anyone have a similar experience? He is probably contacting you to resume the affair only. Most men don't see an affair as transitioning into an exclusive relationship. They see it as a supplement to the marriage. So its likely that he wants to have an affair with you, but stay married. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
yellowmaverick Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 I think that having children has a way of helping most people appreciate their family and become protective of keeping the family unit together. That being said, we have seen many situations on LS where men have affairs while their wives are pregnant or have recently given birth. would he be willing to leave his newborn to be with me? You do realize that him "leaving his newborn" would mean that the baby would not have his/her father in his/her life full-time and that the mother would have to care for the baby alone, don't you? Also, due to the baby, your man would be tethered to his ex-wife for at least the next 18 years. Just wondering if you really thought this through.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author cif Posted September 7, 2013 Author Share Posted September 7, 2013 The wife has another baby daddy so she's experienced with this. I'm asking about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 Just wondering if other men would forget or love us less after having a child with the wife. Mine still tries to contact me, I'm NC, but if i were to respond would he be willing to leave his newborn to be with me? Anyone have a similar experience? Generally having a baby someone is a bonding experience...for a while. I remember feeling very connected with my exH after my kids were born. A few years later...not so much. I suspect your man is trying to rekindle the affair, not leave his newborn to be with you. I say this all of the time, I assume he'd be leaving his wife to be with you, not his newborn. Regardless...leaving a wife by herself with a newborn is pretty cold, wouldn't you agree? Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 Why would he have decided to have a baby and grow his family unit If you are is True & real love? What kind of a person does that?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cif Posted September 8, 2013 Author Share Posted September 8, 2013 Because at the time he wasn't moving fast enough for me so i started seeing someone else. He asked me what the new guy has that he doesn't or wasn't giving me and i answered like an idiot. It all went downhill from there. xOM still thinks we are together. He also thinks i was pregnant back then. I lied to get him to leave me alone. Goodbye- i'm sorry about your M... but thanks for giving me hope they'll drift apart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 Just wondering if other men would forget or love us less after having a child with the wife. Mine still tries to contact me, I'm NC, but if i were to respond would he be willing to leave his newborn to be with me? Anyone have a similar experience? I very much doubt this. If he didn't leave prior to having a baby he has even more of an excuse and reason now to stay put. Men looking to leave their marriages do...men looking to have an affair do. The mistake some OW make is assuming the two are the same, that is, believing because a MM is having an affair he is also planning to leave, when often the case is he isn't leaving, he just wants an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cif Posted September 8, 2013 Author Share Posted September 8, 2013 This is why i posted here. I don't want to fall into that trap of appeasing him, supplimenting his marriage ... then he never leaves. But maybe i should start by telling him the truth to see were his head is. Link to post Share on other sites
randomwoman Posted September 8, 2013 Share Posted September 8, 2013 I'm going through this now..determining how a baby will change our relationship. So far he has still been in communication but we do not have a PA, only EA. I think with the baby, it is pretty much boiled down to platonic for now. Although I feel hypocritical saying this in a way..his main duty is to be a supportive and there for the baby. I support him being there for his wife and baby and it would be a major turn off if he wasn't. That's how I know I wasn't really cut out for this. Be patient and whatever will be, will be Link to post Share on other sites
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