tangled up

[randomwoman]

I'm new. Go easy on me

 

Background: EA began about 3 years ago with ex-coworker. Since then, the relationship has been primarily through texting. Only PA element was a long passionate kiss about 1 year ago. We then decided to not go down the PA path and have avoided each other physically. We have seen each other in group settings a few times but we do not openly admit to still being in contact since we stopped working together. We communicate every day through chat. We have both been married for approximately 10 years.No intentions on being together on either side.

During the 3 years, we have been through the typical high and low of the EA. We always seem to start chatting again.We share a lot of feelings and it feels like a relationship. There are moments when we fight and argue, express jealousy, share photos. We were not friends prior to getting involved in the EA. At one one he admitted that he was in love with me or the idea anyway.His wife had a baby, he told me before his other family and friends. I even bought their baby a gift.

 

: Has anyone else experienced this type of long term entanglement that is willing to just give any words of advice? There are times that I have issues with this type of relationship because it is secret. I cannot say that I would be comfortable hanging with the wife and his real friends because there are some feelings there that cross the platonic line. I'm just not sure how to make this fit into my life or how to overcome..besides to go NC, which I'm sure some will say.

[randomwoman]

I suggest you NEVER sleep with your OM.

 

I agree. We are both a little too off our rocker without any sex. It does seem like a hobby but sometimes the reality hurts a bit. Important moments like birthdays and celebrating other events in each others' lives are not possible although we live in the same town. It is sort of like a LDR but we have many mutual friends. Seeing the mutual friends attend celebrations and knowing that we are closer friends as far as what we share is a bit tough..it is what it is I suppose.

 

Thank you for your reply, Pierre. I read most of your responses because I like the advice you give. Keeping it real but with your experience mixed in, best combo.