darkkitty Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Im new to this place just trying to get some advice. i have been married now going on 5 years and things have gotten kind of rocky. i recently got out or the armed forces after 9 years and we are going through a culture shock of sorts. we moved to a place where i have no friends i know no one except my wifes family (who always seem to come around when ever its inconvenient). and to top it all off i got my heart ripped out the other day when my wife whom i love so much told me that she didnt know if she loved me any more. please some one tell me how to respark her love. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Hello! Welcome to the board! Yours sounds like a situation similar to what I went through with my ex. I feel safe in saying that this did not occur suddenly. Things built up to this point, as you have sensed. A little more background information would be helpful. How long were you together/dating before you got married? Did you enlist prior or subsequent to getting together with her? Where were you stationed, or more to the point, how far away from your wife's family & friends were you? How did duty impact time spent together (i.e. out to sea for 7 straight months per year, in the field 3 weeks per month, etc.)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkkitty Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 i had been in for about 4 years when we started dating in Sicily, she was in the military too. we were together about a year or so off and on so to speak. i we have never really been apart since we got married. its just all of a sudden we are here with her family so near by and a friend whom i don't trust one bit seeing as how he was ex lover and still flirts with her to this day. i wouldnt realy mind it so much if made an attempt to get to know me then i could work on the trust issue (not that i don't trust my wife i just don't trust him). i just don't know what to do and im afraid im going to lose my family. the only family i have now. ive been away from MY family so long i no longer know them. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 It sounds like a lot is going on in your lives right now. You both probably feel a little overwhelmed at times. How much quality time have you been putting into the marriage? Do you suppose that now being closer to her family & friends, that perhaps she is looking to them for fellowship, support, & encouragement that she believes you haven't been providing? Rather than waiting for her friend/former boyfriend to get to know you, perhaps you should take the initiative & get to know him. In any situation like this, there are readjustments to make. Some people handle this better than others, but if you believe that either or both of you are having undue difficulty with this (to the extent that it's impacting your marriage), you may wish to consider counseling. Couples counseling wouldf also be helpful, if nothing else to re-establish communications. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts