Not skyping for more than a month...

[ohnoo]

Hi all!

 

First of all my boyfriend and I are fine but is not Skyping for more than a month normal for a couple in an LDR relationship?

 

I think I gave my boyfriend the impression that I don't like Skyping because at first I was uncomfortable that he has to force me. But we did it often that I got comfy and we can Skype 'til morning, then we met in person and that's when Skype faded.

 

I celebrated my birthday last month and he asked if I want to Skype. I said I'm ok not Skyping because my sister's already asleep & wifi is weak outside our room. He didn't bother to call too, we just chatted the whole night. Last week, he said something like "I think we should Skype sometime this week." and it felt to me like it's a responsibility that he had to do rather than a WANT. He asked me to Skype cos I told him that it's hypocritical to always say you miss me but we're only like chat buddies now, nothing else. It's also weird because why 'sometime this week' and not skype that moment when we're both available to Skype? I want him to WANT to Skype with me again and I told him that, his response was that I'm overthinking it and I said no, I just want you to want it and he said "Ok, honey, we'll see.". He didn't ask to Skype again. I feel like he doesn't miss my voice or my face and it's been more than a month now.

 

What I want to hear was "Let's Skype! I haven't seen your face and heard your voice for so long. I miss you!" which he is capable of saying cos he always say he misses me everyday! It's just so hypocritical to say "I miss you" everyday in chat and be content with just chatting when he was giddy to skype before. It makes me feel that he's not attracted to me anymore. We haven't heard each other's voice for more than a month and it hurts me that he seems to be fine with it. I also feel that he will never ask me to Skype anytime soon cos he's content with chatting and I don't know what to do cos I don't want to tell him to Skype, I want him to want it but I guess that you can't force someone what to want.

[CherryT]

You complain that you feel like chat buddies and when he keeps making the initiative to skype you, you turn him down? I get that your sister was asleep and the wifi is weak, but why are you taking it as though he feels like it's a responsibility and then complaining about how you feel like he's just a chat buddy? He's asking you if you could skype sometime this week. He's not pressuring you on a date, giving you the ability to choose when you want to. My SO asks "can we skype this weekend?" because we were both busy with different times and just wanted to be proactive in planning a "date".

 

Why don't you ask him to skype? Do you make him feel like you want to talk to him? Because it sounds like he's asked and you said no.

 

Just because he doesn't say the words in the exact sequence that you want him to, doesn't mean he isn't saying what you want to hear. He misses you and wants to skype and is giving you the opportunity to tell him when you're free. He's already asked? Have you asked? A relationship is a 2 way street.

[justwhoiam]

I don't know what to do

It's very simple. You stop kissing his feet. Don't call him, don't text him, don't chat with him. Maybe he's going to call you and ask what's up? Or maybe he's going to be OK without you for a month? Whatever happens will tell you much about who he is and how he feels about you.

 

Also, after the first meeting, contact fades... I would see that as an alarm. Contact should boost. He can't be that comfortable after only seeing you ONCE and living far away. Btw, how often can you see him in person? How far is he?