Author m1ke11 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 And really this is my major frustration with my wife. My daughter going through he'll, me trying to do the best I can to understand and help her, and my wife watching reruns of "cops". Now I understand finally why she wasn't involved but it's still difficult to forgive. A united front is what I have ALWAYS preached. I needed another viewpoint during this especially from a woman. I've just talked to my wife about things. I'm going to have one or two more sessions with the counselor and then we will be going together. I haven't had this much of a positive outlook in years. Thanks so much. Just having a definitive plan helps me.... Part of my problem was I couldn't decide what to do and I was really confused. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I'm glad your wife is willing to go with you. Considering her distraction with the tv - I would consider cutting off the tv cable. Yikes, did I say that? More than that - she needs to be accountable for her reasons why opting to check out and watch tv is more important than participating in the family - and making you feel like you're going it alone with issues that come up. She needs to be your PARTNER. Hopefully, she will be willing to change and grow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) And really this is my major frustration with my wife. My daughter going through he'll, me trying to do the best I can to understand and help her, and my wife watching reruns of "cops". Now I understand finally why she wasn't involved but it's still difficult to forgive. A united front is what I have ALWAYS preached. I needed another viewpoint during this especially from a woman. I've just talked to my wife about things. I'm going to have one or two more sessions with the counselor and then we will be going together. I haven't had this much of a positive outlook in years. Thanks so much. Just having a definitive plan helps me.... Part of my problem was I couldn't decide what to do and I was really confused. Hey Mike, it's good to see your positive outlook! I'm glad she will go to therapy with you. She really needs to get herself involved in your daughters care and treatment. If she does not, trust me, your daughter will recognize this, as did my daughters. They go to him for nothing. He gets frustrated and doesn't understand why they tell me everything and him nothing. I don't tell him it's because they feel he's not there for them. That's between them, now, since they are all grown, or nearly grown. Hopefully, your wife will open her eyes and work with you. Edited September 12, 2013 by vla1120 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author m1ke11 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) Hey Mike, it's good to see your positive outlook! I'm glad she will go to therapy with you. She really needs to get herself involved in your daughters care and treatment. If she does not, trust me, your daughter will recognize this, as did my daughters. They go to him for nothing. He gets frustrated and doesn't understand why they tell me everything and him nothing. I don't tell him it's because they feel he's not there for them. That's between them, now, since they are all grown, or nearly grown. Hopefully, your wife will open her eyes and work with you. Your right. I hope all this lasts. I know I'll try and ill also support her efforts. I know I've done a complete turn around here. I was ready to leave but something didn't feel right. Honestly I was so confused I could have been talked into anything. I really do have my own issues to work on. The EA's specifically. Communicating better to my wife before finding myself so needy that I fall into another EA trap. And recognizing this early. Edited September 13, 2013 by m1ke11 2 Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Your right. I hope all this lasts. I know I'll try and ill also support her efforts. I know I've done a complete turn around here. I was ready to leave but something didn't feel right. Honestly I was so confused I could have been talked into anything. I really do have my own issues to work on. The EA's specifically. Communicating better to my wife before finding myself so needy that I fall into another EA trap. And recognizing this early. An EA is just an escape, it's not an answer. Where would your daughter be then? An EA is a trap if you want it to be..an escape. Strength is facing you weaknesses and being there for the people who need you. I don't think you want to just run, even when your wife/husband doesn't love you anymore..you always have your kids. Both of you need her and she needs both of you. Work together................ Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 In a way - his wife has been having her own affair - with the television. Has she eliminated that from her daily life yet? Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 In a way - his wife has been having her own affair - with the television. Has she eliminated that from her daily life yet? First post out the gate..but cut the umbilical cord.................get that. Let's paint the entire wall....both of you have one common interest...something you both strive to heal Wouldn't it be ironic if the daughter just needed both of you? Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 In a way - his wife has been having her own affair - with the television. Has she eliminated that from her daily life yet? Should she eliminate it all together? Should he quit riding his bike all together...no. But realizing those should be healthy hobbies and not escapism....yes. Link to post Share on other sites
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