Laurynn Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 I apologize for taking up even *more* space here with my ramblings...but Tony, I just wanted to let you know that I mustered up my sense of humor, adventure and with "only entertainment in mind", I'm all dolled up and ready to go! haha. I called him shortly after I left this place...and he was very very excited (but very nervous) about meeting. I suggested pushing the time we meet to 8 from 7:30 and he was pretty insistent that we stick to our original plan of 7:30 (??)....I am as nervous as the day is long, but that's just me :-) Should be an interesting evening, hey? I'll be sure to post here when I'm home and let you know my "verdict" *grin* Thanks again, for all your feedback and common sense! Laurynn ~who wonders if the room is really spinning, or is that just the 2nd glass of Cabernet?~ Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 Can't wait to hear what happens!!! I'll be on pins and needles!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 Tony, I hope you're not too sore, you know.....waiting on those pins and needles *grin* Okay so I'm home now, safe and sound. Things went well. He "seemed" nice, and on the up and up...who really knows for sure, though. He was very anxious to make plans with me tomorrow....and to find out how I felt about him. Sheesh, who the hell knows, I just met ya buddy, chill out. A little desperate perhaps? Yuck, nothing worse than someone who's tooooooo eager. Anywhoo....I'm still alive and in one piece. Didn't want you to wait up all night worrying about me *grin* Thanks again! Laurynn :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Quandary Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 I know Tony has been the one replying to your posts... but I have been reading them and anxiously awaiting the details... So how did he look? Liek the photo? was he the age he said? did you click as well in person? Okay did he kiss you????? You need to spill the gory details. You were long whitted when you had a problem, but now it's short, sweet and avoiding the point!!!! Details PLEASE Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 Well I skimped on the details because I feared I'd outworn my welcome here :-) He looked the same as his picture......maybe even a little bit better. (he looked good in his picture) Even though we were both extremely nervous, we found a lot to talk about, which I thought might be a problem, seeing how we'd already spent quite a few hours talking on the phone in the past. He was very down to earth, a gentleman, got uptight when I offered to pay for the second round of drinks....that was a change from the guys I've dated in the past. When he drove me back to my car, it was awkward.....and he just sprang it on me, "so can I have a kiss?" *gulp* I really don't kiss on the first date.....not one to rush things, didn't even consider this a date, thought of it more as a 'first meeting'.........didn't want to hurt his feelings so I kissed him. I thought it was a bit too much, too soon, but that's just me. I couldn't see his butt (haha) because he was wearing a butt length black leather jacket, so can't report on that *grin* He was definitely my 'type'.....but let's be real here, everyone is always on their best behavior on a first meeting/date. I found him to be very intelligent, which was nice. This was kind of sweet. When we spoke on the phone in the past, I told him that I love men's cologne (not on me, on a guy I'm with hehehe)...he remarked that he didn't really have any but that he meant to go buy some...and what kind did I like? Well tonight when we drove to another lounge/restaurant, he had all these samples of cologne he'd tried (you know, you spray some on those little white card thingies)....he made me smell them all and tell him which I liked the best. Bet you $20 he'll go buy the one I said I liked (which was Gucci, in case you're wondering LOL) I'm not going to start picking out china patterns yet (LMAO)...but at this point, he seemed like a decent guy. Thanks for being interested in the details, that's sweet of you :-) Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 So good so far. If this is the way he always behaves at a first meeting, there is your excellent reason why he is still single, gets rejected often, and has only had a few relationships. All of the immature women, except those strictly after money, and the major number of the mature women he went out with would have written this guy off because of his seemingly desperate attitude, his forwardness, his eagerness, his lack of mystery and lack of challenge. You had the mystery ingredient in the fact that you met him online and had all these probing questions about his interaction with you online and on the phone prior to the meeting. Frankly, I think you should tell him, on the phone or in person, that you insist on all your relationships going at a slower pace. Let him know that you think he's a nice guy but you are simply going to absolutely insist that if there's going to be a continuing association of any kind, you don't want to sample anymore cologne, you want to take your time with other things like kissing, etc...you just want to go much more slowly. It is a sign of social ineptness for someone to bring samples of cologne for a lady to smell, then go buy the one she likes rather than choose one he likes. At the same time, he may start a custom...and he very well may be quite a genius...because it is a known fact that phermones or certain scents radiating from a male can sexually and/or otherwise attract and stimulate a female. This was just an awkward thing to do, though. But if he found a scent that can help him win your heart or get you to bed sooner, more power to him. While others he has encountered may not have been ready for him and his ways, maybe you are. On the other hand, there are many aspects of his life you have not yet seen. You first visit to his living quarters, if there is one, may be the clincher. On the other hand, he may ask you to help him pick a house or an apartment before he invites you to come to it...if he handles everything like the cologne deal. Other than the fact that he is going way too fast and showing the kind of desperateness that would turn most women off, he sounds like a pretty good guy. He may just not understand females and maybe you will be the one to understand him and see him for what he is. If he continues to go out of his way to please you in every way...that is he continues for the next 50 years, you have got a perfect gem. It's really difficult for anyone to expect that someone would continue to put out that kind of energy over a long period of time to please someone so now, if you continue to see him, you'll wonder when it's going to stop. I would not tell him where you live for a few more dates and continue to meet him places until you know him better. I have other concerns about a guy who seems too eager and moves way too quickly. Did you bother to go over all the concerns about his online behavior that you expressed in your posts? This whole thing sounds promising but you won't know anything at all until you see him a lot more. But, it seems you really were attracted to him and his conversation was very stimulating. That's a great sign and, absent all the other circumstances, your evening with him would have been an indication this relationship could go far. Let's hope it does...but be cautious for a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 Ahh! You made some super points that I hadn't even thought of/realized. Now as I sit here today, to be honest, I have no desire to meet him for coffee later. Not that I don't like him but I really believe in taking things slow. Heck, I'm still processing last night! While I become annoyed with men who seem to play games, and want to create "too" much of a challenge, I think the other extreme is just as annoying. God knows I don't want to get involved with someone who's desperate ....gee, how special would that make me feel? LOL I do suspect, perhaps, that maybe he's a bit socially inept....not a lot of experience dating, not too confident, not too sure what he "should do/shouldn't do"...too afraid of 'making a mistake.' While I'm flattered by the effort and attention to detail, I'm not much attracted to wimpy/pushover men. Call me a little old fashioned maybe, but I really don't like to kiss on the first date....and him putting me in the awkward spot of saying, "so can I get a kiss?"...well although it wasn't the biggest thing in the world, I thought he was a little bold. I like to kiss when I feel I *want* to do that. If he moves at this pace, what's next?...sex next weekend? NOT. You're right about seeing his place, that's a very important point.....though at this point, seeing how I don't know him all that well, and his place is wayyyyyyyyy across the city, I'd prefer to wait a bit before I'm off in a strange part of the city (I recently moved here and get lost really easily ) I guess I shouldn't complain in a way, a lot of guys I've dated in the past were extremely confident, to the point of being obnoxiously selfish. I did bring up the point that, 'how do I know you're not married'?...because the closer it got to meeting him, the more I worried, "geez, I could be meeting someone's husband for all I know"...and it really bothered me. He showed me he had no wedding ring, then laughed, admitting that didn't necessarily prove much. He then admitted he'd never even been engaged. I'm not sure how he would have proven to me he wasn't married.....EXCEPT, this is a little strange!!!... I told him that before I headed out the door to meet him, I thought about phoning his house to see if a woman answered, and that if a woman HAD answered, I wouldn't have shown up. (obviously a girlfriend or wife). He laughed and basically said that wouldn't have been fair of me to conclude that that was a girlfriend/wife....???????.....then I said, "well gee, who WOULD it have been..you live ALONE, what woman would be at your house?"......he then went on to tell me a story about his ex girlfriend....how she's sometimes call his place, and his goofy guy friend would answer the phone, in a voice like a woman, and the girlfriend would believe it was a woman...and of course she'd be upset. He made it sound like this was something his friend had done on more than one occasion. I think it's pretty immature and mean. And strange. Well I just talked on the phone to him.....told him I have things to do today so can't meet for coffee. He seemed to accept that fine. He said we'll probably not see each other during the week *UNLESS* I drive across the city to go see him. What's up with that? He lives about 20-25 minutes away.......that's too far for him to drive during the week? Is it because he's CHEAP (gas prices are high here)??? Seems to me that if you're really interested in someone/getting to know them, driving 20 minutes to see them wouldn't be an issue at all. Weird. Well, gotta run...day's a wastin'! Thanks again!! Laurynn :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 YOU WRITE: "He lives about 20-25 minutes away.......that's too far for him to drive during the week? Is it because he's CHEAP (gas prices are high here)??? Seems to me that if you're really interested in someone/getting to know them, driving 20 minutes to see them wouldn't be an issue at all. Weird" If I drove a 21 year old car, I would be terrified to back it out of the driveway, much less drive 25 minutes across town. Not going to cut him down on that point. Of course, there are buses, taxi's, bicycles, jogging, hitching rides from friends, etc., as alternatives. This is going to be a real challenge for you but it sounds interesting. However, if I were you, should another Prince Charming cross you path in the near future...I wouldn't discourage him because of this guy. Good luck and keep us posted!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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