moon Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 I just can't believe it sometimes. My ex dumped me and picked up with a new girl right away (he was probably seeing a bit of her before he broke up with me) and he doesn't even seem to care what he did to me. I wrote him some very angry e-mails and he never even responded, but I thought one day I might get an apology from him or something. My general feeling from him (picking up vibes out there) is that he doesn't even seem to care. He just moved on and didn't even look back. We were supposed to live together and he promised me the world and now he has a new girlfriend and he just discarded me. It feels so much worse when you don't even feel like your ex has any remorse at all for what he's done. I feel like I am still waiting for a sorry or something.....but nothing ever came and I think that is making this so much worse for me. I feel like I have never in my life been treated so harshly by another person. I am way past thinking my ex is going to call and say let's get back together. I could never trust him again, but how could he be so hurtful and just carry on with his life with out any remorse or sadness about what he did to another human being---his ex girlfriend of years? It just makes me feel so sad and angry at the same time. I guess it makes it harder because I don't live in the same town as him anymore and have no chance to run into him. We don't really have any mutual friends either. I think my ex just thinks he got away with murder. I seem to wake up every morning in tears. During the day I recover and feel okay again and then the nights are hard again and I feel angry and sad mixed together. It's been almost five weeks since he broke up with me. Has anyone out there gotten the apology they were looking for sometime down the road? Thanks for your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by moon I could never trust him again, but how could he be so hurtful and just carry on with his life with out any remorse or sadness about what he did to another human being---his ex girlfriend of years? How could he do the above? HE IS A MAN, althought women do this all the time too. All is fair in love and war. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 You shouldn't allow someone to have so much control of you...he moved on because obviously he wasn't happy at all in the relationship anymore so he has no reason to feel remorse... I'm sorry to sound harsh but obviously he did what was right for him and left you to pick up the pieces. There is no reason that you should look at it as "he got away with murder" you don't have the right to expect him to stay with you if he isn't in love with you as selfish as that sounds..at least he broke it off with you and didn't just string you along...you know what I mean? And I doubt he'll apologize for doing what made him happier...Gawd that sounds awful, he didn't have the right to hurt you but please understand he probably didn't think about what he was doing to you... Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 I wrote him some very angry e-mails and he never even responded I can guarantee you he won't respond to angry emails or if he does it'll be a torrent of abuse & not at all what you want to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate I wrote him some very angry e-mails and he never even responded I can guarantee you he won't respond to angry emails or if he does it'll be a torrent of abuse & not at all what you want to hear. I agree Link to post Share on other sites
DESI Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 You story sounds a lot like mine. Left me and never contacted me. After 2 years he treated me like a piece of trash. It is the worst feeling in the world. He went from calling me 20 times a day, seeing my everyday to not calling me at all. It is very bizarre and it hurts me so much. I know this won't help much, but maybe a little. Just know your not alone, your post helped me realize that. The perfect relationship I thought we had was obviously far from perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Realizing that he's "happier" with out me I guess is what I am having a hard time swallowing. You know you can just have a feeling about how somebody else is feeling about something.....and all I can see is him smiling. If I had felt that he even had an ounce of remorse I think I'd feel better. But the people responding to my post are probably right. I have to be the one to pick up the pieces after this. He's actually happier with out me.....woe that is a tough one to really sink in for me. He won't be calling this time to apologize----and man there have been soooo many. We had been on and off for what feels like forever to me (four years) and one way or another he or I would always come back to each other....usually with the agreement that we are just meant to be together. I think its made it easier on him that I sent off nasty e-mails and called him names so that he can make it look like this was my fault and he can just go on enjoying his new relationship. I don't regret sending the e-mails if that's what he thinks. I said what I had to say.....even though I said harsh things, in one way or another he's said similar things to me in the course of our relationship. It was just a first time for me to be so blunt and nasty. I am usually the one forgiving his wrongdoings. I guess if my history with him always included some sort of remorse or an apology after a wrong doing---his or mine---I guess I just sit here expecting another one. But it's not gonna come. You guys are right. I am glad I caught on to this website and another one early on and realized how important it is to have no contact. I haven't been in contact with him (e-mails or whatever) for almost four weeks. And I'm getting nothing from him. I guess in the end we all want an apology or an ackowledgement that this was hard for them to go through too, but it will probably never come---so I must go on. Thanks for the advice. I feel like I have been strong not contacting him and already moving away from him, but it really stings sometimes what he did to me! Link to post Share on other sites
JEN123 Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 one word. Wait. really - -he'll get his. What goes around comes around. no matter who's faul it was that th erelationship ended, someday he'll be in the same boat. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 What goes around comes around. no matter who's faul it was that th erelationship ended, someday he'll be in the same boat. Exactly! Go on and be the better person. If he did you wrong Karma will get him when it's time for him to be "gotten" I can understand an apology would give you closure but I can't help but wonder if it would give you some false hope for another chance as well..if this would be an issue then maybe it's meant to be that he doesn't contact you so you don't have to have prolonged agony! Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon Posted November 19, 2004 Author Share Posted November 19, 2004 I think you guys are right. I can't believe I overlooked that getting in contact with me at all might spell trouble. By the way I am so moody about my break up anyway. One minute I am thinking, oh this is sooo my fault, I caused a bunch of fights at the end and pushed him away...in which case if he called me during a moment of pity I'd be apologizing myself. If he called me at a time when I was irate with anger......because of the things he did or said, he'd probably get a blast of obsenities and a phone slamming down in his ear. So either way....I guess I am not ready to squat from him right now. I'll just carry on with my up and down and unpredictable days of "healing." I should be lucky that he hasn't called me at all because either way he'd get quite an earful and that's not exactly what I want to be projecting right now. Happy with out you.....I can take you or leave you, is what I'd like to be saying. And I am not there yet! Link to post Share on other sites
Jip Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 Moon - I feel for you, I really do! Much a similar situation to mine. I got jealous over another girl - he never really told me that it bothered him then bam one day that was it game over... he felt nothing for me anymore! It took 3 weeks of hell for us to break up whereby he wouldn't talk to me or want to see me but wouldn't say it was over either. Funny in that period he was still in contact with her but couldn't even talk to me and then a week after we split he starts seeing her and they are still together 2.5 months on!! Sorry that was just a wee update! How can we be so quickly replaced?? I did get an apology for hurting me at the time we split but he never once was just honest and admitted that she was the real reason behind it all..... Funny he wouldn't deny that he might end up with her!! It is a rollercoaster - we have been split up now for 2.5 months and I feel stronger now - until last weekend I used to cry every day usually in the car on my way to work in the morning or when some silly thought would hit me! Today's a down day as was last night. In my dreams it used to like nothing had happened now in my dreams we are split up and she is there... how we torture ourselves but that at least seems like progress. I even saw a new guy at the weekend but to be fair it was just a bit of fun from both sides - I just couldn't stop the comparisons in my head or the missing him! I'm realising its way too soon and alone time is best for now! But I'm getting better at just not thinking about him and esp not him & her together!! You hang in there and play the upper hand - I intend to when I see him for the first time next wednesday - I'm going to be funny and sassy but it won't be directed at him - I'll speak to him but he won't know whats going on in my head and I will be the one to walk away from the conversation - I'm keeping the power this time round! And Jen 123 - you are so right - what goes around comes around, reap what you sow.... often wonder if thats why this has happened to me!? But think this way - it changes you into a stronger, wiser and better person or at least in my case it will some day soon... need to get rid of the angry thoughts that you have too moon! Its funny how one minute you blame yourself and want to apologise and next you want to shout at him and show him what he's done to you! But in the end that gets you nowhere. Good luck with it - it will start to ease! You may never get the apology your looking for but you'll get to a point where you just won't care!! Link to post Share on other sites
NatoPMT Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 If I had felt that he even had an ounce of remorse I think I'd feel better By believing this you are giving him the responsibility of how you feel, how you feel is completely controlled by you. work towards that not being true Link to post Share on other sites
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