Beautiful women everywhere, attractive men nowhere...

[Imported]

When I lived on the West coast, I thought there were attractive people EVERYWHERE. Here on the East coast...totally different story, it's the complete opposite. For every person that is attractive there's got to be at least 4 who aren't.

 

 

My time in Florida...OMG, so many hot girls.

[veggirl]

My time in Florida...OMG, so many hot girls.

 

Yeah sounds about right. Maybe its not an east/west thing but a hot weather/cold weather thing.

[StanMusial]

Read our Lovetalk archive. Concerns over love don't change with time. Redundancy in topics should be expected though the people aren't.

 

There is a thread about "picky" literally three spots down on the page.

[salparadise]

There is a thread about "picky" literally three spots down on the page.

 

Not anymore. Apparently someone isn't very picky about where they move threads when they want them to go away.

[William]

If we can keep this thread focused on beautiful women everywhere and attractive men nowhere, it won't go away. However, if it turns into who has it hardest in dating, men or women, most assuredly it will. Thanks. Now, back to the topic.

[holly25]

This thread got off topic. But just to try to catch up on things, the issue here isn't my looks. I'm confident in my appearance, the boys love it, I'm not perfect but I know I'm not bad either. That's not the isssue. The issue is about attraction and who I'm attracted to. I see pretty girls everyday. Everyday. Guys, especially here in the midwest, just don't do it for me.

 

Some of you say that people in LA are superficial. Some are, some are not. People are more high maintenance, which is a good thing in my opinion. I like a guy that takes care of himself from head to toe. I love when men are well groomed.

[KatZee]

So true. We need to get together and find us some cuties! Everything you said is so true. That's why I'm taking being dumped by the long distance guy so hard. I didn't love him. But he took REALLY good care of himself. Nice body, clean shaven, good skin, great haircut, great hands and feet...just groomed from head to toe. So I'm left here thinking...how am I going to find this again? I don't feel like I'm asking for much. I take really good care of myself.

 

OMG ME TOO!!! lmao! When my ex dumped me I was more sad for the fact I was going to have a hard time finding another guy who took as good a care of himself as he did. My ex was meticulous.

 

Meanwhile guys I've gone on dates with:

 

1. extreme neck hair

2. one guy took off his shoes and his feet STUNK.

3. one guy had the worst breath I almost died.

 

I did date one guy for a little while that took great care of himself, but of course. He's not looking for anything serious.

 

OF COURSE!

[MilkyWay]

Hello holly25,

 

i totally understand your original post message below:

I am in the same shoes as you.

 

OP holly25 quote:

Beautiful women everywhere, attractive men nowhere...

is my observation. I am not picky. All I ask is that I'm with a guy that I'm attracted to. It's fun being with someone that turns you on. Physically, everything is just so much more erotic. I don't see any attractive guys in my city. They don't have the 'look' that I'm attracted to. I come from a multiracial background so I guess it's only natural that I'm attracted to that look? I found one I liked in LA. But you know the story, he dumped me because of distance. What to do now? And how do you feel about the appearance of men in your city or town?

 

I did a posting on Loveshack, because i am a 25 yr old female who never had a boyfriend or sexual experience, because i have a dating preference for white guys that does not suit me well in my south east asia region, am insecure about my body and never looked for people to go on dates because i wrongfully think that as a girl, guys i am attracted to will come to me.

I have been hit on by people i could never be attracted to, and if i do fall for someone, fall for someone who is unavailable- married and whose wife is pregnant.

 

I lamented over the fact that i am not really attracted to Asian men and i got the "heat" from a few people at Loveshack for my shameless dating preference/criteria and for being "picky" and "choosy".

 

OP holly25 quote:

All I ask is that I'm with a guy that I'm attracted to. It's fun being with someone that turns you on. Physically, everything is just so much more erotic.

 

I totally agree with your above quote.

How can i date someone i am not physically attracted to or who does not turn me on enough for me to want to kiss him and go further?

 

The physical attraction would give me the butterflies and make me excited and eager to see or be with him.

 

Once you do find that needle in the haystack that you are physically attracted to, the next challenge is whether or not he feels the same way about you.

 

"sigh"

Edited September 10, 2013 by MilkyWay

[FitChick]

I am. Back to Los Angeles in February.

 

There are even more beautiful women in LA. They are professional beauties (models, actors). Could you compete?

[El Brujo]

There are even more beautiful women in LA. They are professional beauties (models, actors). Could you compete?

 

Nice try, but I live in L.A., and while we DO have plenty of models, actresses, etc etc, 99% are too much in love with themselves to want a relationship with anyone else, and the remaining 1% want a rich dude (provided, of course, he hits on her).

 

Unless of course by LA you mean Louisiana...

[Blastoplast]

This thread reeks of narcissim

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

OP is multiracial.

 

Australians, Europeans, and Americans have similar features.

 

Familiarity.

 

I'm white and my girlfriend is Asian (one with darker skin).

 

OP should get out of her comfort zone.

[KathyM]

I've been to many parts of the country and have lived in a few different areas, including L.A. One thing I've noticed here in L.A. is that the people are more fitness minded, and generally more style conscious. So they don't have the weight problems as much as other parts of the country, and both men and women seem to have a better sense of style here in L.A. They take better care of themselves and eat healthier also.

[PJKino]

Yeah.

 

So many cry that men are shallow, yet they go ahead and bash guys for physical things they don't even have any control over. And they have a gall to claim only men are shallow...

 

F'in hypocrites...

 

 

And hell, most guys would be lucky to land a 5 or 6, nevermind 9 or 10 - forget about it if you aren't 6' perfectly chiseled, Ferrari driving, 7'+ donger equipped hyperstud.

 

Yeah women want men to love them for who they are and what they are on the inside and accept their flaws yet theirs tons of flaws on men they refuse to ignore

[Scales]

I think it would be good if we all sat down and admitted that image is playing a very strong roll in attraction these days as dating has become more competitive than ever. Landing a date could mean the difference between having clean fingernails and a trimmed nose. Gone are the days of settling for a man with a decent salary recommended by your parents. As the dating scene has become more dynamic, standards have gone up all around.

 

This means it is equally difficult for every one but in different ways. Let me try to explain why girls claim to want a nice guy who cares for them. Lets say we have an extremely attractive man, with maximum value in all categories, named Tom. Essentially the dream guys. These guys know they are the best catch in most rooms and they know women are attracted to them. In many cases, they want sex with multiple people because they can, its more fun, and it gives them a sense of pride and winning. Their goal is to get with many women, settling on range of women from their lowest criteria to their highest. Women on the other hand are looking to meet the best man. They are improving themselves, wearing make up, and dressing nicely to land a guy like Tom. Since Tom is the guy they all want to meet, Tom can get with all of them, or at least has a chance.

 

The problem arises when the women don't want to share Tom, and men like Tom don't often have the investment in a woman to care about their issues or be sensitive. They have so many options that they are constantly replacing in order to have sex. Why invest effort and time when replacing is easier. In a woman's attempt to find the best guy, she is likely to get used because she wants men like Tom. In a man's attempt to find the best girl, he is likely to get rejected because he does not fit the requirements to be Tom. Both are equally hurtful.

 

So when girls say they want a nice guy, it really means they want the BEST guy to be nice and invest in them. Nice is just the most uncommon requirement among the list. Providing, body shape, personality, general attraction, fashion, grooming, and social skills are all on that list. Being nice isn't generally required but is desired. and by nice i don't mean taking them out to dinner or supplementing, I mean the ability to emotionally connect and be sensitive to a woman sometimes. It shows investment. The problem is guys who are really good at that, often times are missing many of the other requirements to the point they will be outright rejected. The guys who meet the requirements like Tom aren't nice because they don't want to invest. So, for guys meeting more of the requirements that women like open your options exponentially. For girls, lowering your requirements opens your options exponentially. There many guys trying hard to just "be themselves" not realizing there are many Toms beating them out, and too many girls refusing to settle for anyone but Tom.

 

TL;DR Girls want the best guys, the best guys want many girls. The best guys aren't nice because that means investing in one girl they are likely to replace. This is why girls want the best guy, but they also want him to invest in her emotionally which is unlikely.

[chucksagent]

I agree with a LOT of what Scales said...I think they nailed it.

 

I would like to add another culprit if I may...And I don't mean this in a nasty and attacking way to women at all; I am just dealing in facts. (here is short version, scroll down to read analysis) - - - Women have been affected by magazines, media, etc. into overvaluing looks and thinking the "perfect man" exists.

 

As Scales said, the world is more competitive than ever right now...vanity is the IT thing. Nobody NEEDS a huge house, unless you have 10 kids...nobody NEEDS a sports car...Nobody NEEDS a smart phone...get my drift?

 

Well women, BIOLOGICALLY, have always valued and been attracted to security above all else. And no, that doesn't mean GOLD DIGGER, it means a man who cares for her and will protect her and provide for she and her children. You all need to remember, we are the product of THOUSANDS of years of evolution. I understand the last 50 years (lol) we all go to jobs in an office building and do the same stuff...but for 1000's of years we needed to survive. We needed a hunter, gatherer and protector...and we needed a Nestor (or someone to watch over the next/cave/kids/food/etc.)...Now if you remove your liberal chip from your shoulder or feminist big from your bumhole, either parties could have done either job..no one job is better or more important than the other. Somehow over the years (back a few hundred years) men took the power and made themselves feel their job was more important, but anyone with a brain knows that BOTH jobs were equally important.

 

So it's from ALL THOSE YEARS of the species needing to come together to live. Evolution made man visual...he was attracted to beauty to keep the species alive and growing...women were attracted to strong/capable males who could provide. It's how human beings stayed alive and continued to evolve.

 

WELL...much like mens minds have been corrupted as to what is beautiful (From Marilyn Monroe to skinny beanpole models), women's minds have been corrupted to think they need the PERFECT MAN. Just think about those words for a second, lol...we all know perfect is impossible...Yet, if I had a nickel for every single and lonely 35 year old woman with a HUGE requirement list for the PERFECT MAN, I'd be rich.

 

Women have read so many magazines and seen so many reality shows and movies, they think they deserve (and can actually get) a rich, buff, smart, hilarious, emotionally available guy....THAT GUY DOESN'T EXIST!!!!

 

Not sure if any gamers will read this...but think about when creating a character in a video game or a board game...you may have 20 talent points to attribute into categories...more often than not, if you want to make your character strong and fast, he won't be very smart...and likewise, if he's smart...he probably isn't a good fighter.

 

Well it works that way in real life too...If you go to school for 7 years to become a doctor or lawyer, how many guys are in the gym, or cooking all their meals...especially if youre working to put yourself through school...you're probably hitting dollar menu in your RARE spare time cause its fast and cheap...spending all (little) remaining spare time sitting at a desk (not in a gym) reading school books. And I know it's a stereotype..but most meatheads aren't smart...Think back to highschool...how many jocks/meatheads went on to be rich and successful adults? Most football stars are at the prime of their lives at that time...it'll all be downhill from there.

 

All of that being said...I've noticed for as many lonely women in their 30's as there are...the OTHER half, is smart enough to realize, no such thing as perfect man...and they learn to appreciate humor, intelligence, salary, stability, work ethic, if a guy would be a good father, etc. Girls in their 20's...FORGET about it...all they want is tall/skinny hot guys.

[atomicdog]

Nice body, clean shaven, good skin, great haircut, great hands and feet...just groomed from head to toe. So I'm left here thinking...how am I going to find this again? I don't feel like I'm asking for much. I take really good care of myself.

 

Thanks for appreciating men who take care of their appearance.

 

This is something I'm trying to do myself.

 

BTW, just curious, how much does height play into this? Does the guy have to be massively taller than you to be attractive, or is 1-2 inches taller enough?

 

And do you only find traditionally masculine/rugged faces attractive? Or are you also into the young/boyish look? (Assuming the guy is good in all other respects.)

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

and its a myth that all they males go for what you call 9's or 10's, hell most of these 9's or 10's act like princesses.

 

+1

 

9's and 10's are rare, especially in the US, where half of the population is overweight. You'd have an easier time finding attractive women in many different parts of the world (sorry to burst your bubble, OP, but if you're walking around the US seeing WAY more attractive women than men, you have a low standard of beauty for women).

 

Anyway, I agree. Girls that hot are way more trouble than they're worth. I'm dating a solid 7 right now and couldn't be happier.

[Imported]

TL;DR Girls want the best guys, the best guys want many girls. The best guys aren't nice because that means investing in one girl they are likely to replace. This is why girls want the best guy, but they also want him to invest in her emotionally which is unlikely.

 

If only people were textbook cardboard cutouts fitting neatly into one of few categories. If only that were true.

[iris219]

I agree that there are way more attractive woman out there than attractive men. It’s because women make an effort: they do their hair, wear makeup, and put on clothes that flatter their bodies.

 

Many women do more than the above to look cute as well whereas many men do nothing to improve their appearance. I see guys with greasy hair wearing holey t-shirts and flips flops with gross toenails everyday.

 

Over the years I would occasionally see or meet an attractive man and think, “Hmm, he’s looks interesting.” Almost every time, it quickly became apparent that he was gay. By attractive, I don’t mean objectively hot. I mean clean, nicely groomed, and with some sort of style. Many men have no style whatsoever, at least where I live.

[Imported]

I agree that there are way more attractive woman out there than attractive men. It’s because women make an effort: they do their hair, wear makeup, and put on clothes that flatter their bodies.

 

Many women do more than the above to look cute as well whereas many men do nothing to improve their appearance. I see guys with greasy hair wearing holey t-shirts and flips flops with gross toenails everyday.

 

Over the years I would occasionally see or meet an attractive man and think, “Hmm, he’s looks interesting.” Almost every time, it quickly became apparent that he was gay. By attractive, I don’t mean objectively hot. I mean clean, nicely groomed, and with some sort of style. Many men have no style whatsoever, at least where I live.

 

Men have to deal with the "Good-ol boy" clubs. Some women are even supporters of that ****.

[PJKino]

It's not true its just that women are attracted to only a small percentage of the top men while men are attracted to various types and shapes of women.

 

AS far as basic grooming some of you must be in hick places where men dont care about apperance im in the nYC area and most guys i know clean up pretty well and try to dress nice and stylish

[Weezy1973]

I agree that there are way more attractive woman out there than attractive men. It’s because women make an effort: they do their hair, wear makeup, and put on clothes that flatter their bodies.

 

Many women do more than the above to look cute as well whereas many men do nothing to improve their appearance. I see guys with greasy hair wearing holey t-shirts and flips flops with gross toenails everyday.

 

Over the years I would occasionally see or meet an attractive man and think, “Hmm, he’s looks interesting.” Almost every time, it quickly became apparent that he was gay. By attractive, I don’t mean objectively hot. I mean clean, nicely groomed, and with some sort of style. Many men have no style whatsoever, at least where I live.

 

This will be a phenomenon that you will see out, but in a relationship, the attractiveness evens out quite a bit because both parties tend to be much more natural (especially if they are living together). I'm not saying they let themselves go, but naked out of the shower, without makeup or hair done up is going to be quite normal and the flaws that a good bra, flattering clothes and makeup hid will be out in the open.

 

I sometimes wonder do women assess their own attractiveness based on when they are "done up" or how they look naturally? If we are comparing men and women in their natural state - I'm sure you will find that both sexes are extremely even in appearance.

 

It's also much more culturally acceptable for women to put in way more effort into their appearance then men (and some women seem to really enjoy it!). If I were to wear makeup or spend a lot of money on clothes or pluck my eyebrows, I would certainly be seen as "less manly" by my peers.

[Pompeii]

I agree with a LOT of what Scales said...I think they nailed it.

 

I would like to add another culprit if I may...And I don't mean this in a nasty and attacking way to women at all; I am just dealing in facts. (here is short version, scroll down to read analysis) - - - Women have been affected by magazines, media, etc. into overvaluing looks and thinking the "perfect man" exists.

 

As Scales said, the world is more competitive than ever right now...vanity is the IT thing. Nobody NEEDS a huge house, unless you have 10 kids...nobody NEEDS a sports car...Nobody NEEDS a smart phone...get my drift?

 

Well women, BIOLOGICALLY, have always valued and been attracted to security above all else. And no, that doesn't mean GOLD DIGGER, it means a man who cares for her and will protect her and provide for she and her children. You all need to remember, we are the product of THOUSANDS of years of evolution. I understand the last 50 years (lol) we all go to jobs in an office building and do the same stuff...but for 1000's of years we needed to survive. We needed a hunter, gatherer and protector...and we needed a Nestor (or someone to watch over the next/cave/kids/food/etc.)...Now if you remove your liberal chip from your shoulder or feminist big from your bumhole, either parties could have done either job..no one job is better or more important than the other. Somehow over the years (back a few hundred years) men took the power and made themselves feel their job was more important, but anyone with a brain knows that BOTH jobs were equally important.

 

So it's from ALL THOSE YEARS of the species needing to come together to live. Evolution made man visual...he was attracted to beauty to keep the species alive and growing...women were attracted to strong/capable males who could provide. It's how human beings stayed alive and continued to evolve.

 

WELL...much like mens minds have been corrupted as to what is beautiful (From Marilyn Monroe to skinny beanpole models), women's minds have been corrupted to think they need the PERFECT MAN. Just think about those words for a second, lol...we all know perfect is impossible...Yet, if I had a nickel for every single and lonely 35 year old woman with a HUGE requirement list for the PERFECT MAN, I'd be rich.

 

Women have read so many magazines and seen so many reality shows and movies, they think they deserve (and can actually get) a rich, buff, smart, hilarious, emotionally available guy....THAT GUY DOESN'T EXIST!!!!

 

Not sure if any gamers will read this...but think about when creating a character in a video game or a board game...you may have 20 talent points to attribute into categories...more often than not, if you want to make your character strong and fast, he won't be very smart...and likewise, if he's smart...he probably isn't a good fighter.

 

Well it works that way in real life too...If you go to school for 7 years to become a doctor or lawyer, how many guys are in the gym, or cooking all their meals...especially if youre working to put yourself through school...you're probably hitting dollar menu in your RARE spare time cause its fast and cheap...spending all (little) remaining spare time sitting at a desk (not in a gym) reading school books. And I know it's a stereotype..but most meatheads aren't smart...Think back to highschool...how many jocks/meatheads went on to be rich and successful adults? Most football stars are at the prime of their lives at that time...it'll all be downhill from there.

 

All of that being said...I've noticed for as many lonely women in their 30's as there are...the OTHER half, is smart enough to realize, no such thing as perfect man...and they learn to appreciate humor, intelligence, salary, stability, work ethic, if a guy would be a good father, etc. Girls in their 20's...FORGET about it...all they want is tall/skinny hot guys.

 

 

****. This is probably the most spot on analysis of anything I have ever read on this damn forum. You cannot invest time into becoming the "perfect man". That's why the saying "jack of all trades, master of none" was coined. You have finite time, finite resources, etc into investing. Some people decide to invest all their time into becoming guitar masters. Others decide to become basketball superstars. Others, ****hot web developers. Whatever it is, you cannot be elite at everything. There are only 24 hours in a day. If your body is efficient, 7-8 hours are spent sleeping. 8 are spent working. What are you going to do with the other 8? I used to play video games and that having "20 skill points" to put into 5 categories is definitely correct.

 

Damn, that was great.

[Pompeii]

There are even more beautiful women in LA. They are professional beauties (models, actors). Could you compete?

 

It's not even about being able to compete. There's more men than women in LA, So Cal even. So there's not much to compete over.