hints about marriage...

[cosmo]

What are some good hints to give my boyfriend about getting marriage? I don't want to seem blunt about it. Just maybe some clues that I'm looking to get married to him.

[Tony T]

I think you need to be a bit more direct about something like this. Many men are dense and do not take hints.

 

Sometime, when you are alone with him, ask him what his thoughts are about marriage. Listen to him. Then tell him what your thoughts are. Then just come right out and ask him if he thinks the two of you, as a couple, are or should be working in that direction.

 

That will get you your answer...if he wants to be honest with you. If he doesn't, no hint...no nothing...will do the trick.

 

Now, I am assuming the two of you have been seriously dating for at least six months to a year. If not, don't even approach the subject.

[nycesq]

I am on board with Tony. I think that before you even enter into this discussion, you should look at yourself and make sure that you are where you want to be. Have you finished school? Do you have a good job? Are you happy with yourself? Are you happy with your boyfriend?

 

Did you ever hear the quote, "You can't love someone else unless love yourself first?" (or something to that effect) I think that you should not consider getting married unless you have accomplished the goals that you have set out for yourself.

 

I hate to be a party pooper because I do believe in love, the institution of marriage, etc. However, as women, we can not afford to enter into these situations blindly. So many times, I have seen women press to get married who did not have good jobs, etc. And what happens if things do not work out?

 

Secondly, I think that Tony's suggestion of how to broach the subject is an excellent one. In addition, make sure not to pressure him. If you follow Tony's tactic, you will ensure that you allow your boyfriend to know your feelings without being too pushy. I have met many married and engaged men who feel that a lot of their decisions were due to their girlfriends pushing them. To me, this is horrible. When I get married, I want to think that it will be a mutual decision. It is perfectly alright for you to feel that you need to move to a different stage in the relationship but do not pressure him into doing it. If you calmly bring up the conversation and your boyfriend does not seem interested, it is time for you to decide whether you can afford more time to see how things go.