Suddenly lost it all?

[WakingUp]

Geez, isn't this a bit extreme?

 

The OP has already mentioned that she's seeking (or on) hormone therapy and hormone cream and obviously, it's not working just yet (or at all). Damn, the minute someone hits a rough spot, the common group think here is to automatically run off and start life all over again. And how can a bunch of strangers on an internet message board intrinsicially KNOW that the OP's fiancee "would get all horny if some young sexy guy were to came along?"

 

What a ridiculous supposition.

 

She's feeling nauseous and miserable and tired and completely off her feed, and further on this thread it's suggested she's supposed to offer up every orifice she has or she should immediately drop to her knees like a friggen trained circus seal every time this guy gets horny. Oh, I'm SO sure she's just giddy at the thought of having anal sex because vaginal sex is too painful right now. Yeah, that's the stuff dreams are made of. Jesus.

 

OP, take what you read here with a huge grain of salt. HUGE.

 

One thousand likes.

[Lokie]

A quick chime-in on the menopause/sexuality thing. I was having very intense menopausal symptoms - for several years - until I got on a very low dose of oral systemic Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). HOLY HALLELUJAH! I'm like a new woman! I am a sexual person and I hadn't lost my sex drive, but man, sex and orgasms are way better on HRT. I really encourage her to look into it. It's worth a shot.

 

Oh, and ALL WOMEN experience menopause differently. Some of my friends have had NO symptoms at all. (Bitches! ;-) For me, the symptoms were hell (headaches, indigestion, irritability, hot flashes, anxiety surges, memory loss, fatigue, etc.) and I am so glad I made the personal decision to try HRT.

 

Good luck to you and your honey.

Edited September 15, 2013 by Lokie

[RBLL]

A repulsive chore?

 

Don't you think you need answers as to why she would view it that way now?

 

She has no libido, no interest. Her body and mind are unresponsive to arousal stimuli. She worries that I'll leave her, that sex is so important to me but no longer is for her. Her hands become more crippled from arthritis every day. Her back and neck constantly ache from disc degeneration. She's falling apart and there's nothing we can do to reverse it. I foresee she will eventually arrange a mistress for me. Life keeps messing up our lives. Make the most of every day!

[RBLL]

Geez, isn't this a bit extreme?

 

The OP has already mentioned that she's seeking (or on) hormone therapy and hormone cream and obviously, it's not working just yet (or at all). Damn, the minute someone hits a rough spot, the common group think here is to automatically run off and start life all over again. And how can a bunch of strangers on an internet message board intrinsicially KNOW that the OP's fiancee "would get all horny if some young sexy guy were to came along?"

 

What a ridiculous supposition.

 

She's feeling nauseous and miserable and tired and completely off her feed, and further on this thread it's suggested she's supposed to offer up every orifice she has or she should immediately drop to her knees like a friggen trained circus seal every time this guy gets horny. Oh, I'm SO sure she's just giddy at the thought of having anal sex because vaginal sex is too painful right now. Yeah, that's the stuff dreams are made of. Jesus.

 

OP, take what you read here with a huge grain of salt. HUGE.

 

Thanks. I am

[RBLL]

Do you think if your penis wasn't working - that you would find alternative ways to make sure she was satisfied and happy?

 

Has she had a checkup? I've never heard of menopause making anyone nauseous...

 

I Googled it. Hot flashes and nausea are all part of the menopause thing, along with body aches, weakness, mental fog, depression, irritability....... We will get through this. That's what love is, never giving up.

[MidwestUSA]

RBLL, you could be describing me, with the discs in the neck and back (have had a cervical fusion). Three knee scopes and I need one replacement. Arthritis everywhere. (I bought hubbie a sex swing in March, we haven't used it. ). But, if I can muster up the energy, there is nothing like the endorphins/hormones produced by sex (good sex. ) to leave me pain free for hours.

 

 

I do hope your wife will get on that other form of HRT soon (it's important for osteoporosis prevention; a double whammy when you've already got arthritis) and you'll be back here reporting soon on your progress. Again, best wishes.

 

 

(My input on the menopausal symptoms - so, so much of it, the crabbiness etc. can be explained by crappy sleep. Waking up on my back with a pool of sweat between my boobs, argh. So glad I'm past that)

[BikerAccnt]

RBLL, I feel for you.

 

I actually joined the board today just so I could reply to you. I've been reading here for years, but your post compelled me to join.

 

I am you. Very much the same has happened to me, and I'm sure has happened to other men. Menopause effects women differently I'm told, but all of my male friends, married or no, report a marked drop off in sexual activity.

 

Anyway, like you, I met my fiance late in life. I was 40 and she was 46. I had been married before, so I know what a good sexual relationship on a loving marriage should be like.

 

At first, as with all new relationships, she couldn't keep her hands off me, nor could I keep mine off of her. The first year was a whirlwind. We were long distance, 600 miles, but each of us would make the trip once or twice a month and we'd spend weekends together. Eventually, she decided to move to be with me.

 

Shortly before the move, sex fell off a cliff. She put it down to the stress of moving, leaving work, and "she hadn't been feeling well." I was completely understanding.

 

Well, she moved here, and sex never came back. By this time she, and I, knew she had entered peri-menopause. A bit early, but again, every woman is different. I did everything I could to help ease her change into this new period of her life. I didn't pressure (well, at first I did because I didn't understand) didn't nag, just waited, patiently. And waited, and waited. I continued doing all the things she loved about me. To this day, even though we are no longer together, she professes to love me.

 

We did not get married. One thing I did tell her is I wasn't going to marry someone, who wouldn't have sex with me. That to me, we were just buddies, and friends. We had many discussions about the lack of sex. Some angry, some not. Some with tears, most not. She's not very emotional.

 

What it came down to was, as she put it. Her on Switch was broke. Her body had betrayed her, and she was terribly sorry. BUT the thought of anything sexual was now repulsive to her. Just thinking of it made her gag.

 

"How can I want something I don't miss?" is how she put it when I'd ask.

 

I told her, because to this day I still love her, that I could live without vaginal penetration if I had to, if she would just touch me. But she either couldn't, or wouldn't. It disgusted her.

 

I had to leave. I waited and lived with her 7 long years before I finally left. Let her buy me out of the house, and we remain good friends. I'm 53 now.

 

I just couldn't stand the daily frustration of living with someone I found very attractive, that I loved very much, who couldn't even bring herself to do something for me out of love. As someone else here said, I believe that showed me more than anything, that we have different visions of love

 

.I may still not be having a lot sex, but at least that fact isn't staring me in the face every day.

 

So..that was TL;DL I know.. Basically, you will most likely be very unhappy if you marry your fiance. So I suggest you don't.

 

Good luck to you.

[RBLL]

Thanks for the excellent response. I appreciate all the effort you put into it! She had a slight breakdown yesterday when I mentioned that I want my lover lady back. She wants herself back too. We're both starting on the hormone pellets next week. Should be fun! I don't expect us to be rabbits again, but twice a week would be awesome. In the mean time, I'll just keep taking her for rides on the hog to help clear her mind. The whole matrimony thing is on the way way back burner and most likely will stay there. I'm being very careful.

[BikerAccnt]

Good luck RBLL, at least your girl is open to trying hormones, mine wasn't. It's part of her philosophy. She hates doctor's, drugs, etc. She believes that nature took it's course and that's all she wrote.

[RBLL]

I told her a year ago that when the day comes that I can't ride or hump, I'm outa here and on to the next life. I meant it too. You'll never find me in an old folks home! Sorry your lady was not open to hormones. The new pellets are awesome, without the dangers or side effects of synthetics.