pom Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 Right, my basic problem, is I just dont know what to say! I'm a confident person, ok looking, well presented, intelligent, funny, have quite a few close friends, and then quite a lot of more distant friends, thin, fun... Just a normal happy 19 year old student! But, for instance, in a club, I have no idea what to say to girls! I'm not scared of rejection, or lack the confidence to go up to anyone, I just have no idea what to say! Whereas my housemate just always can speak to people for ages, infact all 4 of them can! One of them will just ask a girl a random question, like 'what's your favourite vegetable', but I dunno how he gets into a conversation from that! and I just never seem to have flowing conversations with people, they often just end, and then goes into awkward silences. can someone just tell me their technique if thats what it is? I actually sometimes feel like I missed a part of my growing up and socialisation. Like my parents got divorced when I was at the age when I should have learnt how to do this, and because of that, I am yet to be able to! Help please! cheers Link to post Share on other sites
JonJon Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 It's simple...Start with hello. Work from there. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 can someone just tell me their technique if thats what it is? There is certainly a technique to the art of conversation - some people are naturally good at it & some people just blather on at others as if they're having a conversation when in reality they aren't (lord knows I have a few friends like that!). Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer - you can always think of some of these in advance for any given situation. Look at peoples faces when you talk to then & when they talk to you, nod & act as if you're genuinely interested in what they have to say, this alone can usually encourage someone to keep talking. Avoid making statements, ie. "I really hate this song." instead say something like, "I really hate this song because ......... What's your opinion?" One of them will just ask a girl a random question, like 'what's your favourite vegetable', but I dunno how he gets into a conversation from that! Easy - because it's a question that doesn't require a yes or no answer. Then he can tell her what his favourite veggie is & why, then ask her why she likes A over B, then ask her which ones she hates & before you know it they've found something in common somewhere - even if it's just about veggies! That's part of the technique too - find something in common, it doesn't really matter what it is because once you've found something you can talk about it & get to learn more about each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pom Posted November 19, 2004 Author Share Posted November 19, 2004 well what are peoples usual opening lines on girls in clubs for instance. How do most people get the conversation going, and you can't say that you just say 'hello', cos there's got to be more to it than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Maria46 Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 How about The music is great here, isn't it. This is a real happening place This place is packed tonight/or There aren't many people here tonight Love the lighting, sound system, band, special effects. Just start with comments about the club. If she gives you a positive response, go from there. Do you come here very often? I've only been here a couple times/first time...etc. Then you can say... Oh...by the way, my name is XXXX. What's yours? You live here in town? etc. You should be able to think up more things to converse about after that. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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