Miss Sisyphus Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Today is my last day to drop out of grad school and not owe any money. I am in my second year pursuing a degree in the arts that probably won't lead to anything other than an adjunct teaching job. However, I am not young (I'm 51) and I feel like this is my last chance to get an MFA On the other hand, my 12 year-old daughter is having problems adjusting to her new school. She has cut herself three times and is seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist. Even though, with the exception of one class, she and I are both in our respective classes at the same time, I have to read/write when she is at home. I don't know if that's setting a good example or being negligent. I've never made a decent living--not even $24,000 a year. I was a stay-at-home mom until I was obligated to go to work. I thought an advanced degree would help me give my daughters a better future. But maybe I'm just being selfish and naive. Any comments are appreciated--especially from people with master's degrees and higher who can relate to the experience. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 One year to go, correct? Is a part-time schedule an option? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 I got my MFA when I was in my late 30s/early 40s. It was the hardest thing I ever did and I don't regret a day of it. Yep, it won't make you any money. Ostensibly, it is a useless degree. But I didn't have a child to raise and wouldn't have given it up for the world... I don't think it is a bad thing to demonstrate to your child that it is never too late to pursue your dreams, regardless of the sacrifices involved. My best friend is 49 and is working on her Masters. As a single Mom, she is teaching her 10-year old the costs of sacrificing for dreams, regardless of income potential. Do what you love - the money will follow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miss Sisyphus Posted September 10, 2013 Author Share Posted September 10, 2013 (edited) Thank you both for answering. GorillaTheater: It's a 60-hour degree because it's terminal. It's three years long and I've just started my second year. If you take less than 6 credits, you don't get a TA-ship. Without that, I can't afford to go at all. CarrieT: Maybe it is about following your dreams and self-actualization. But I don't want to sacrifice her happiness for my dreams. : ( The degree is in dramatic writing. I feel self-indulgent even admitting that. Edited September 10, 2013 by Miss Sisyphus Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 The degree is in dramatic writing. I feel self-indulgent even admitting that. Mine was jewelry/metalsmithing. Talk about self-indulgent! CarrieT: Maybe it is about following your dreams and self-actualization. But I don't want to sacrifice her happiness for my dreams. : ( I am just recently engaged to someone with children and never had them of my own, but I believe there is a level of importance in being true to yourself versus sacrificing your life for another, even a child. At some point, the child is going to move on live their own life, regardless of what you do. And what will you be left with? They will make their own way in life with you as an example. It is a matter of which life lesson you want to teach; that of sacrificing one's own dreams to another? And - seriously - the happiness comes from your relationship together, does it not? Will there be a real loss of "happiness" by another year or two of struggle for material gain on your part in absence of a degree? Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted September 10, 2013 Share Posted September 10, 2013 Hard to say. While it's not a practical degree...you've already invested into 50% of the degree, correct? What do you hope to accomplish with the degree and what are your chances of making more with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Tethys Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Have you tried talking to your daughter and asking her what she needs? (If that has an accusatory tone, it wasn't meant to.) It sounds like you are undecided and maybe putting her preferences in the mix would help. Maybe she'd like working on her homework at the kitchen table next to her mom--might be fun to do together. On the other hand if she says she really misses doing things with you than maybe you can talk yourself out of the degree right now. (I've taken a crack at an advanced degree but bowed out after getting a degree in the field I liked.) Good luck to you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I finished my MSM while working full time with a 10 year old high maintenance son LOL. Granted I did my courses on line - is that an option for you? I started with a liberal arts degree and quickly switched for a couple reasons.....1) I didn't enjoy a single mili-second of it and 2) there isn't much money in that field. If it were me, I would stick it out because it will be worth it in the end but maybe switch degrees? Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 My mom got her PhD when I was in elementary school. I don't remember being upset by watching her write her dissertation. I'm considering grad school now with a baby myself, and the memory inspires me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I suppose it depends on exactly what degree it is, and how much money you'd owe if you stay there. But one things for sure, an arts degree isn't exactly a solid investment these days. I guess it depends on what you'd value more in the years to come... Having accomplished getting that degree, or the money saved on quitting now. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I don't think you should quit. I too went through grad school (before my son was born) and I remember how tough it could be. But you want to show your daughter the importance of following through with difficult things and accomplishing your dreams and goals. Don't show her that it is okay to quit when the going gets tough. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I can only tell you my experience. I was going for my doctorate. 19 months in going full time. Two kids. 13 & 11. My mom got sick and moved in. I had to work longer hours so school went tp part time. Then my daughter got sick. I dropped out. My daughter passed and I never went back. I work in a field that has zero to do with my education. However I got the better paying job because I went to college. The commitment was all they needed. If I had a doctorate I could l earn more in my current field doing what I'm doing. But I really don't care any more. My kids were very supportive of me and honestly my biggest feeling of accomplishment was because I felt I was setting a good example. Link to post Share on other sites
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