Need advice...

[Quandary]

Okay so here is the deal, I like this guy... I think that he likes me too but I am not sure if he is really looking for something other than just fun...

 

I am wondering if I were to send him an e-mail to this effect would it be stupid???

 

This what I would say:

 

Just wondering if I did something that upset you or bothered you? I thought that things were good and then you vanish without a trace jsut curious to know what your take on the situation is? I hope that it was nothing I did, if it was I am sorry.

 

THE END

 

Please let me know... if you were/are a guy would you think that this was strange? I dont' really care where he and I go from here, I just don't like doing stupid things that may have offended soemone. (I sometimes put my foot in my mouth since I speak my mind freely and don't really think about what I say).

 

Any advice woud be nice...

[Laurynn]

hey there!

 

So can you give a little more background info.

 

Had you been dating/seeing each other on a fairly regular basis? For how long? Who was it that initiated the contact between you two....you, him or both?

 

How long has it been since you heard from him?

 

The last time you heard from him, what did you two do, or talk about? How did things end up that time?

 

How had you two been getting along? Was there talk of dating exclusively? Did he make his intentions known? eg)....did he say he was looking/ready for a relationship?...did he say he was looking for someone to hang out and do things with?

 

If you can provide a little more info, it will be easier to advise you on what to do :-)

 

Laurynn

[Stargazer]

Hi Sweets,

 

NO! Don't send him this - for starters you are blaming yourself, don't! Things were not "good" remember? There wasn't anything real between you, except you know what. If you haven't heard from him still then you have to assume that he just wanted some fun and try and let him go, I know you like the boy but his actions are saying a lot - it's NOT about you, you did nothing to upset him and if you did (which I know you didn't) who cares because he obviously doesn't care enough to tell you whatever it is you did, know what I mean?

 

Mail me if you like hon,

 

*Hugs*

[Tony T]

Not sure what you are talking about here but: don't say a thing to someone about a transgression unless they have said something to you first. A person's ability to overlook a verbal or behavioral transgression of a minor nature without getting bent out of shape is a great quality you need to look for in a partner.

 

I personally find it a bit irritating when a female, or anyone else for that matter, starts asking me if they've said or done something wrong. It's sort of an indication that there's a guilty feeling on the part of that person which begins to make me wonder if they actually said or did something on purpose. It also begins to point something up that I may not have noticed. It can also tell me that they perceive I am in a foul or abnormal mood...which, if I am, will put me in an even worse mood.

 

If a person continues to act as if you have wronged them over a period of time, then you should confront them...if it's not just something temporary. And then, don't focus things on yourself. Just tell them they haven't seemed like themselves lately...is there anything going on you can help with. If you have wronged them, a good communicator will tell you. Or they may tell you about something else.

 

If at that point they don't tell you what's bothering them but the behavior continues and it bothers you, eventually...and you decide when...tell them their behavior is distracting for you and you desire to take leave of their company until life gets better for them. That gives them one final opportunity to share...and it lets them know you don't want to be dragged down by them. Since they have told you nothing is bothering them, it's pretty presumptuous to ask, again, what's bothering them.

 

Let me tell you, there are millions of people who will drag others down with them if they can. Don't let that happen to you. You don't need to be constantly wondering what you've done to somebody when their mood is NOT your fault.