For dads who get repeatedly accused of child abuse...

[M30USA]

It seems to happen a lot. I have a good buddy whose ex called CPS on him nearly 10 times. And it's happened to me.

 

What are some good tips on dealing with this, both emotionally and legally? Anybody gone through this?

[hayewils]

I have been in this situation when I divorced my children's mother.

I got custody of the kids and was constantly accused of abuse, dealt with CPS it seemed like all the time.

They would come over, or I would go to their office..

Anyway, all you can really do is go through the process.

I do know that when I went through all that, they also keep tabs on who the reporter is. They do see the consistency and frequency of the allegations.

you can ask for a copy of the records of accusations but, all names of the complainer are blacked out. At least that was my case. Establish a history, you could probably even subpoena CPS and get every thing out in court to show the harassment.

I know it is a hassle..

Good luck

[hayewils]

another thing I did is, every time the case was closed, I kept all paperwork that showed that. that way it also shows that nothing was ever found to prove anything was wrong.

[CarrieT]

What are some good tips on dealing with this, both emotionally and legally? Anybody gone through this?

My fiance has gone through it a number of times with his Ex.

 

Emotionally, he had to go through almost a decade of therapy to deal with it.

 

Legally, he has set his life up to be beyond transparent; a model citizen in every sense of the word so that when/if there is an investigation, there is NOTHING that could be remotely incriminating, from downloaded porn (legal, but morally suspect in the eyes of the law) to never even having a glass of wine with dinner if he is driving.

[Porridge]

Not been accused of this but I really am prepared for anything.

 

For me, it's the lowest of the low. To make any false allegation of something so reprehensible......well, I find it sub-human.

 

I guess there are people like that out there though.

[M30USA]

My fiance has gone through it a number of times with his Ex.

 

Emotionally, he had to go through almost a decade of therapy to deal with it.

 

Legally, he has set his life up to be beyond transparent; a model citizen in every sense of the word so that when/if there is an investigation, there is NOTHING that could be remotely incriminating, from downloaded porn (legal, but morally suspect in the eyes of the law) to never even having a glass of wine with dinner if he is driving.

 

Wow, it's sad that he has to get that extreme just to look good in the eyes of the law.

[M30USA]

My fiance has gone through it a number of times with his Ex.

 

Emotionally, he had to go through almost a decade of therapy to deal with it.

 

Legally, he has set his life up to be beyond transparent; a model citizen in every sense of the word so that when/if there is an investigation, there is NOTHING that could be remotely incriminating, from downloaded porn (legal, but morally suspect in the eyes of the law) to never even having a glass of wine with dinner if he is driving.

 

What was he accused of? What was the result?

[CarrieT]

What was he accused of? What was the result?

 

I'm not comfortable delving into those kind of specifics.

[hayewils]

I know, for me, it screwed me up for years..

it was so hard to go through and all I could ever think of was, what was I doing wrong???

But it wasn't me,

It was an attack by the ex...

I was messed up over it for a long time and put myself in therapy over not just that, but the year and a half divorce and the after effects for another year and a half.. something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

[hayewils]

it still haunts me today..

and I also believe that what happened over those years affected my previous marriage.. Im doomed..

[vla1120]

People using the system like this infuriates me! I used to volunteer in a few different roles with children in foster care. Normally, CPS - while they must investigate every allegation, are usually pretty decent at recognizing this abuse of the system and the findings will be unsubstantiated in every case. It is good to document and record everything. I think anyone who files a false claim with CPS should be prosecuted to the FULLEST extent of the law. Maybe it would be a deterrent to other parents thinking of doing the same.

[vla1120]

People using the system like this infuriates me! I used to volunteer in a few different roles with children in foster care. Normally, CPS - while they must investigate every allegation, are usually pretty decent at recognizing this abuse of the system and the findings will be unsubstantiated in every case. It is good to document and record everything. I think anyone who files a false claim with CPS should be prosecuted to the FULLEST extent of the law. Maybe it would be a deterrent to other parents thinking of doing the same.

 

Oh, and the false reporter should lose custody of their children since they CLEARLY do not act in the best interest of their own children when making these false claims to CPS!!!!

[CarrieT]

Oh, and the false reporter should lose custody of their children since they CLEARLY do not act in the best interest of their own children when making these false claims to CPS!!!!

 

Never happens... The system is too clogged with reports for there to be repercussions - and it often gets down to he said/she said...

[M30USA]

I'm not comfortable delving into those kind of specifics.

 

Exactly. I don't discuss this subject with anyone in person. People have a tendency to assume that there MUST be at least SOME truth to a claim that someone committed child abuse. False accusations tarnish your reputation even when completely disproven by court of law.