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21 with CURFEW!!!please read..parents r dumb


Starnette83

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My parents are so retarded and i want to move out so bad, im 21 and they still freaking give me a curfew, im suppose to be home by 10:30 on weekdays and thats only if im at work or school...and the latest i can come on a friday or sat is 12:00-12:30am, and even then they ask "WHERWE WERE U?" without even saying hi, it really frustrates me and i wanna move out so bad cuz i feel depressed when im home, they only think negative about me and it just makes me annoyed...like if they open there mouth to say something its negative "ure room is not clean".."ure too skinny, u need to eat"..SOrry i do eat but im just skinny!! anyways i realize they can only see negative in me, i have given my mom 40 bucks off of every paycheck i get, and it seems like she doesnt care,....my sisters who dont live at home dont give her money ...

 

anyways everyone has moved out and im the last one left...i really want to move out yet i dont know how..i barely get paid 7:50 at my job, and its not enough....or so it seems, any ideas on how i can save or what to do so i can move out? I got accepted to a cal state northridge and i live in LA , so i wanna move over there...i just dont know if ill offord it or if my parents will get mad and not wanna help me pay for school..any advice will help

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Sometimes there is no option but to move out. As long as they support you financially they can hold that against you. My dad was the same. My curfew on weekends was 11:00 p.m. and I was 20!!!! Now I am so used to it that I don't even go out that much.....all my friends are like, "naive you act like an old lady"!!!

 

Why don't you try finding a roommate?

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bluechocolate

You're working & paying rent (even if it's just nominal) & you're 21 years old - it baffles me that you should have a curfew, but I guess it's their house.

 

I agree with naive - sometimes the only option is to move out. I moved out of my parents home suddenly & with little money. I lived in a sh*t-hole of an apartment for a while, with a room-mate, but I never regretted it.

 

got accepted to a cal state northridge and i live in LA , so i wanna move over there...i just dont know if ill offord it or if my parents will get mad and not wanna help me pay for school..

 

Have you investigated student loans, grants, bursaries, etc.? The only way you're going to know if your parents will help you is to ask them - you're an adult, speak to them.

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I moved out of my parents home suddenly & with little money. I lived in a sh*t-hole of an apartment for a while, with a room-mate, but I never regretted it.

 

Ditto. I moved out about four months after I graduated and lived in a ****hole with a roommate. Looking back that place was a dump, but I sure did have a good time! Woohoo! Work two jobs? Go to school and apply for loans? Live on campus? First you have to figure out how much you can afford and then go from there.

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I know someone who is like around 20. She still lives at home with her parents and two younger brothers. When she has to work on weekends she has to be in bed by 8:30pm. That's earlier the 12:30am. Way earlier. She was out at a party with us and had to leave at around 8:30pm, 9:30pm because she had to go home. I am not sure about Weekday Curfews. I bet she hates it.

 

At least she's allowed to stay at her boyfriends house. His allowed to stay at hers too. Suprised she was able to do that. She was lucky there.

 

When I was 18, 19, 20, 21 all my parents cared about was where I was and where I was staying. When I went to leave to go places I will tell them where I go and be back around this time later or tomorrow. That wasn't too bad. There was no time limit or anything back then.

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i am 25 and just moved back in with the family..my mother, father, older sis(27), and younger sis(18).

 

the only "curfew" rule we have to follow is calling if you are not coming home. my mother wants to know we are ok.

 

this is only b/c we are all "adults", as my mom says.

 

i actually do not mind beiong at home. i do not have to pay rent, but i do buy a lot of groceries, dinners, house stuff. i do chores, clean and try to help out...as do my sisters. they both are in school and working, i work full time.

 

i love my family, even when we are terrible mean and nasty to one another- which is like everyday with at least two people, but we all love each other a lot and we are each really thankful that we are as close a family as we are....and we let each other know it all the time.

 

thank god for my sisters though, helps difuse the parental attention and picking!

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  • 7 months later...
Butterfly28

Being 21 and having a curfew...it sucks...but in the end you'll be glad you had your parents there to tell you when you needed to be home.

 

I can definetly relate. I was actually 23 when it stopped, so you can only imagine how *I* felt - it was quite EMBARRASSING! That's when I had bought my first car. The reason why my parents were so hard on me before I had this car and instilled the curfew was because I was out on the streets doing whatever with my friends. They believed that there shouldn't be anything out there during the "wee hours" of the morning for a girl in her early 20's. They were right. There really isn't.

 

As much as I hated it, I still respected my parents. This is really what they are doing. They are teaching you respect. Eventually as you get older and display more maturity (not saying you aren't mature, but come see me when you're my age - 29 and you'll have come a LONNNNG way). You are living under their roof, so you should really be going by their rules.

 

If you feel that moving out is the only solution, then by all means, move out. If you know you are mentally and financially stable enough to do so, then more power to you. Don't think that this will stop your parents from worrying and calling and checking up on you, because it may not. I did the same thing at 21. I moved out because I wasn't allowed out past 10:30. That only lasted a month. I realized how much I needed my parents and they welcomed me back with open arms and yet again - strict conditions.

 

I followed them.

 

Here I am today, my parents are more lenient, I can come and go as I please. Now all they ask is if I don't come home for me to call them. If that's all they ask, then heck, that's not asking much.

 

You'll understand one day.

 

To top it off, you'll be doing the same things to your kids. You may say, "NO WAY", but you'll be darn surprised how much of the parenting habits you'll have adopted from your parents.

 

Chin up, sweetie. It only gets easier from here. :D

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  • 2 weeks later...
justagirl1121

i am 22 1/2. i am working. i am not close to mine and i cant tell them ANYTHING. they let me go out, dont really give me a curfew, but when i started going out everyweekend it was new for them (and for me, at least, doing that while at home). i did it in college but now they let me but they'r elike paranoid or something. i cant tell tem i go drinking (my mothers' an alcoholic, etc) but i am very responsible, i only want to be social, and have friends, and enjoy life, but also be successful. they really hold that back. th ebest thing will be to move out. i grew up and learned so much about myself when i was away from them at college and could be who i was.

 

it is expensive to move out but i'm seeing people who do it and have little money saved but still manage. you gotta plan a bit. but get out of there, b/c you can't let them have you be miserable. i leave my house nad all he weight nad stress and annoyance and frustration leaves, but stepping thru my door at th eend of th day puts it all back just like that.

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Well...I can see that a curfew may be confining...but on the other hand, I just got through reading a thread about a high school girl who fears pregnancy because a group of "friends" spent the night in a hotel room and unwanted sex occurred. The curfew has protected you from such things as that. Your annoyance is nothing to her fear, grief and shame. :(

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simplybrill

Im 22 and I live with an older sibling, not my parents and yes I have a curfew of sorts too. Believe me, living with a sibling can be worse than living with your parents! I have to be back by 10 weekdays and 12 on the weekends. We make about the same in pay an hour, and it's going to take a while to save up, so I can live on my own, but Im doing it.

 

I say...lay off going out so much, do stuff at your house that way your friends are the one who can get the grief if they're out late! Haha just kidding, but really...stay in, save some money that way, it will keep the peace at home and you'll have your money saved to be able to move out sooner than you think. Im doing the same thing.

 

Im looking for a second job to save some more money to move out, and to pay my bills while im here. You might want to, also! :) let us know how it goes. :bunny::)

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