lovesucks76 Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) 6 weeks since BU and 3 weeks on NC. Well my ex came over to my car tonight after class and started talking to me. I acted cold at first but the more we talk the more I forgot I was supposed to act cold. Eventually we both felt more comfortable and we had a great low key conversation about trivial things, nothing about the RS or getting back together. No pressure conversation.. Just 2 friends laughing and catching up on each others life. I know I'm probably breaking all the rules by talking to her but I feel OK about it. She invited me to a show with her friends on Saturday and I said I couldn't...I was busy! I actually am but didn't tell what I was doing. I said I had to go home and we said bye. I got in my car and felt weird about it so I rolled down my window and said 'I'm busy on Saturday but would be hiking with a friend on Sunday weather permitting in case you wanted to join us.' She said she'd like to go. I told her I'd text her and confirm later this week she said great. Am I wrong for breaking contact? I feel she's been trying to get in contact so she could see how I felt about her. To be honest I still love her very much but I'm not sure I want her back but I still love her. Maybe I loved the perfect image of her I carried in my head for the past 6 long weeks. That's not really her. I truly want her to be happy but I'm not sure she'd make me happy if we got back together. We're too different people and I would be afraid she'd break up again. So confused!! Edited September 12, 2013 by lovesucks76 Link to post Share on other sites
Cali408 Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 This is a mistake. You did well until you invited her to hike. You should have left everything at no, I can't go. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 This is where you can redeem yourself and do not text her to confirm anything, you would agree that you will only exacerbate your already deteriorated emotional state by going hiking with her. And later when you see her again you can simply tell her that you thought about it and it's just not a good idea and do not fall for her shiet again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 This is where you can redeem yourself and do not text her to confirm anything, you would agree that you will only exacerbate your already deteriorated emotional state by going hiking with her. And later when you see her again you can simply tell her that you thought about it and it's just not a good idea and do not fall for her shiet again. I hear you and I'm struggling with it a bit too. At the moment I think I can handle a hike with her especially since I will have another friend hiking with us. I really don't want to talk to her about the RS and what went wrong because it's pointless now. I also think it's too soon and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. A month ago I really would have loved to get back together, not sure anymore today. I was hurt badly and a lot of the old magic has faded away for me with the hurt. It's like its tainted now. I still love her but its different....hard to explain. I feel OK talking to her and having a good time as friends but nothing else at the moment. I think she knows I've changed and she mentioned it to me too. I noticed that avoiding her was great to get me over the hump but now I feel OK.....we also have a class together 3 times a week and if nothing else I want to be normal and not weird when she comes around. I'm not ready to date other people but I'm certainly feeling better about moving on with my life with or without her! We'll see, maybe she will cancel...it would surprise me but I'm not holding my breath in case she does. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 how do you feel when you think of her banging other guys? if you're ok with that, then you're ok with being only friends with her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 how do you feel when you think of her banging other guys? if you're ok with that, then you're ok with being only friends with her. I hear you... Not OK with that yet because it's too soon and I still care about her, I've never denied that. Actually, I know I will always love her. At the same time it doesn't mean I want her back. I've accepted the fact we're not together anymore and she WILL bang another guy eventually, I know. That's life and she's no longer my GF so she has every right to do what she wishes and so do I. Link to post Share on other sites
blotter Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Congrats you are now officially her emotional tampon. She now sees you as one of her girlfriends who she can talk to about her guy problems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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