Fayella Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I've seen some posts on here that consist of people, both men and women who have never had a relationship and are feeling down because they're of a certain age? Your feeling down, am I right? Well I'm telling you that you will meet someone and it comes from experience, I'm talking from the other side of the scope. I've had a relationship with a guy who had never been in a relationship before and he had been turned down constantly again and again in some of the most harsh ways, he never thought he would get to experience being in a relationship but guess what? He did. I must say I did a bit of the chasing, but he put the goal posts there, he put the vibes out of 'I like you' but kept it distant, I had no idea he liked me until I confessed myself but that was because he was too scared due to being turned down. What I'm trying to say is there's hope and sometimes you've just got to try and put those goal posts there, your probably thinking 'I have, he/she doesn't like me' 'I don't look good enough' 'I'm __ years old, it'll never happen!' IT WILL. IT WILL HAPPEN. You've got to get out there and try to speak to people, get to know them, show yourself and put those goal posts there, if that man or woman doesn't seem interested, guess what? MOVE ON. Bugger em, if they're not interested than doesn't matter, you'll find someone who will. What's the point in chasing someone when you can find someone who is hot for you. Trust me, it can happen, I've seen it happen even when the guy told me he felt like he had no hope, but I saw something in him that those other girls didn't and trust me, it'll happen to you! Just keep the faith and keep trying, the worlds full of loads and heaps and billions of people! No one is that 'ugly' that they cannot get a lover, it's just not true. So get out there and go get em! It'll happen! <3 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Yes you'r right you have to stay positive and keep your eye on the prize maybe even reevaluate how your handling yourself, it'll happen! Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Your feeling down, am I right? Well I'm telling you that you will meet someone and it comes from experience, I'm talking from the other side of the scope. I've had a relationship with a guy who had never been in a relationship before and he had been turned down constantly again and again in some of the most harsh ways, he never thought he would get to experience being in a relationship but guess what? He did. I must say I did a bit of the chasing, but he put the goal posts there, he put the vibes out of 'I like you' but kept it distant, I had no idea he liked me until I confessed myself but that was because he was too scared due to being turned down. What I'm trying to say is there's hope and sometimes you've just got to try and put those goal posts there, your probably thinking 'I have, he/she doesn't like me' 'I don't look good enough' 'I'm __ years old, it'll never happen!' IT WILL. IT WILL HAPPEN. You've got to get out there and try to speak to people, get to know them, show yourself and put those goal posts there, if that man or woman doesn't seem interested, guess what? MOVE ON. Bugger em, if they're not interested than doesn't matter, you'll find someone who will. What's the point in chasing someone when you can find someone who is hot for you. Trust me, it can happen, I've seen it happen even when the guy told me he felt like he had no hope, but I saw something in him that those other girls didn't and trust me, it'll happen to you! Just keep the faith and keep trying, the worlds full of loads and heaps and billions of people! No one is that 'ugly' that they cannot get a lover, it's just not true. So get out there and go get em! It'll happen! <3 Not to run the cynical train over this but I guess I look at things from a different perspective. I'm not one of the people here who has major troubles finding someone, but I respect the fact that for many women/men here it is close to impossible sometimes. And as someone who has had problems in the past and improved, I find telling people to be positive for no reason has no effect. There are some issues I have with this post. The fact that you did most of the chasing and you confessed is nice, but im pretty sure we might refer to that as extraordinary circumstances when the woman does it. That doesn't just "happen". Secondly, I'm not sure what you mean by putting your "goal posts up". Maybe it means giving people chances to like you and being open? For most men a woman has never tried to score a goal in their goal post which has been open their entire life. They are the ones always doing the kicking and missing, while watching their friends succeed all the time. Over time people stop wondering whats wrong with their technique and start wondering why they are kicking in the first place. I don't argue that it won't happen. It definitely can happen, the question is with who. Sure maybe some guys/girls can attract someone, girls more often than men, but it isn't the one they want. People want to know how to catch the one they are attracted to, not how to get into a relationship in general. Staying positive and taking action are important, but getting the one you want is about self improvement, a good game plan, and opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 I must say I did a bit of the chasing You broke the rules. In that case results don't count. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fayella Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 @ Scales - Very cynical train. What I mean by putting goal posts up is trying to talk to the woman and being open, and actually making steps such as asking the man/woman out for a drink, or even a subtle 'want to watch a movie?' instead of JUST relying on the same tactics again and again, just doing the lazy method isn't going to cut it and just hoping for the best. @ El Brujo - It was subtle chasing but yet a girl has got to chase at least the person or show some amount of interest or what's the point? What would a man/woman rather have, someone who isn't bothered whether anything develops or not or have someone who is keen? I clearly don't know what I'm talking about here so I'd rather people just ignore this topic because it's not going anywhere. I was trying to optimistic be to people but that get's cut down. Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 @ Scales - Very cynical train. What I mean by putting goal posts up is trying to talk to the woman and being open, and actually making steps such as asking the man/woman out for a drink, or even a subtle 'want to watch a movie?' instead of JUST relying on the same tactics again and again, just doing the lazy method isn't going to cut it and just hoping for the best. I totally agree with this. Action must be taken, and a lot of guys don't or wait too long. Obviously its harder to understand the dynamic of your experience not knowing all the details. There are people here who have no idea how to identify interest or how their behavior displays disinterest unintentionally or even kills attraction. I clearly don't know what I'm talking about here so I'd rather people just ignore this topic because it's not going anywhere. I was trying to optimistic be to people but that get's cut down. haha well don't let the cynical train be viewed as the bully train. I think you could give some good advice to people through your experience with a guy who had no previous relationships. I mean he must have some things right. You must also be a really rare individual to have supported him. Men don't say this but receiving signals in order to feel confident about moving to the next stage is a big deal, and often times women don't give them out or are too subtle (my opinion). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts