MaGGie Posted January 7, 2001 Share Posted January 7, 2001 hi im maggie and i have 2 lil problems that i duno how to deal with ima exspain it to you...first off my bf of 7 months and i are fighting again, it seems like once a month he cant handle the long distance, im fine with it and all but the whole chatting on the net kinda gets a lil irritating,and hes sick of my bad luck, it seems like every other day something horrible happenes and he just cant deal with listing to me talk about my feelings and he doesnt wanna be there for me every other day he has a life too...i know its my fault i should have a whole bunch of friends to talk to but its hard i just moved to this evil getto place and no one like me and i dont have any friends here and all my old friends are sick of hearing it too...how do i think of new conversations and keep my relationship alive when hes 8 by car across the usa???? i know i lov him and he loves me but i dono if he can handle the long distance too much longer.... my best friend and i fooled around like 2 summers ago and now he acts all weird about it and i dunt love him like that and him the same back at me...we love each other cuz were best friendz but im scared hes gonna try and end out friend ship cuz hes afriad i like him eventhough ive tolf him 80 billion times hes just my friend me bestest frien...pleaseeeeeeee help me..... thanx maggie Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 I don't think it's the distance he can't handle as much as it is listening to your neverending problems that seem to enter your life on a daily basis. The best thing you can do is slow down and cease whatever chaos is in your life that causes you these constant problems. Neither friendships or relationships are for the purpose of dumping all of our daily problems onto our partner. Yes, of course, once in a while we need a sensitive and sympathetic ear to listen. However, nobody wants to listen to constant chaos and problems in someone else's life. Your boyfriend would probably love a continued interaction with you but he doesn't want to hear about constant crap. So, before you get online to talk to him...make an outline of topics that are positive, funny, newsworthy, noteworthy, etc. that you can talk to him about. I know you need to discuss these daily crises with somebody but I hope you'll work on not having them in the first place. People whose lives are in constant chaos have usually come from families of origin that were in the same state. Understand that life can be quite nice without constant crises. Get rid of them. Read books and discover techniques to simplify your life. I don't believe in bad luck. I think we create our own luck. Start thinking more positively and bring more positive experiences into your life. Stop believing in bad luck and stop believing you are prone to having bad luck. If there was such a thing as bad luck, you could buy it by the pound at K-Mart. There are many things you can do to enrich your life and make it very interesting for you without entertaining the kind of drama that is driving your boyfriend away. I know you can do it. I don't really understand this other part of your problem about fooling around two summers ago with some guy...but stop sweating about it. Chill out. Buy some relaxation tapes. Those should help. Link to post Share on other sites
Yer sis Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 Maggie You kno who this is prolly. And I just wanted to let you kno I never get tired of listening to your problems. Or talking about positive things. jay is just like that. i kno it as well as you do and unfortuanatly it ended me and he friendship a lil. I'm there fer you always sis love you ~ya sis Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 If he doesn't want to be there for you through your problems, then he is what is known as a "fair weather friend." But if you just talk about your problems to him and he feels he is put in the position that he has to help you solve them, that can be a lot of pressure on him. Sometimes we think that that the person we love has to fix things for us in our lives. We are the ones that have to fix our lives and bring ourselves to a relationship, not needing help and fixing, but with an attitude that life always has problems, but we are up to the challenge. Maggie You kno who this is prolly. And I just wanted to let you kno I never get tired of listening to your problems. Or talking about positive things. jay is just like that. i kno it as well as you do and unfortuanatly it ended me and he friendship a lil. I'm there fer you always sis love you ~ya sis Link to post Share on other sites
MaGGie Posted January 9, 2001 Share Posted January 9, 2001 he does were talking right now about everything and hes telling me how bad he feels that he said he actaully said he didnt care and well u know its not he just had a major delema that was going on in his life and he feels hell of bad that he said that #####, he saide he didnt even relize he was doing it...so you two had the wrong picture about this and thats ok but u did...but thanx for trying If he doesn't want to be there for you through your problems, then he is what is known as a "fair weather friend." But if you just talk about your problems to him and he feels he is put in the position that he has to help you solve them, that can be a lot of pressure on him. Sometimes we think that that the person we love has to fix things for us in our lives. We are the ones that have to fix our lives and bring ourselves to a relationship, not needing help and fixing, but with an attitude that life always has problems, but we are up to the challenge. Link to post Share on other sites
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