Is there anything I can do to make him see sense

[smileymilei]

Is there anything I can do to make him see sense

 

My boyfriend has cheated on me three times and I have forgiven him each time and we have worked through it. They werent so bad as they were only oral sex on him. I wasnt happy but I love him so we worked it out.

 

I made a mistake recently and I cheated on him and now he has dumped me. How is that fair. He says that he only had oral sex but I had intercourse and that is different. That is not true is it. Also I caught him each time but I felt guilty and told him myself. That should score me some brownie points shouldnt it.

 

He has been going around telling everyone I am a slut and a whore which is not nice. I didn’t tell anyone except my closest friend when he cheated. He is just being mean and vindictive.

 

My friends arent being any help. They say I should just let him go but I dont want to, I love him and want him back. Can anyone here help with what I should say and do to get him back. Do you think if I say that he can have sex with another girl to make things even that he may change his mind. We have been together a long time and there is no one else I want.

[Faith13/2]

Two wrongs don't make a right as I'm sure you already know. Sorry to say, but I agree with your friends. When you truly love someone you don't just cheat on them. Your relationship's trust has been broken, I'm sure with hard work it could maybe be repaired, but after three cheats from him and now one from you seems a bit over the top. His cheating from your cheating makes no difference in my eyes. Having him go have sex with someone to "even the score" is just going to make matters worse I think, I mean if you can deal with that cool, but doesn't seem likely. You need to move on, doesn't seem that either of you are committed enough to this relationship.

[smileymilei]

When you truly love someone you don't just cheat on them.

 

I agree with that but when you are young mistakes happen. I was understanding when he made mistakes and he has totally disowned me now that I have made a mistake. It is very unfair.

 

You need to move on, doesn't seem that either of you are committed enough to this relationship.

 

I am very committed. I stayed even though he cheated 3 times, thats how committed I am. And I made a mistake, I understand that, but why can't he just be as understanding as I was.

[BeholdtheMan]

I do think who cheats first makes a difference. He cheated on you three times, you found out, and then you cheated on him once. Both his cheating and your cheating are ethically wrong but his was worse because you had never cheated on him before.

 

What doesn't matter is that he got blowjobs whereas you had intercourse. Both count as very intimate physical/sexual acts.

 

However, just because you have both cheated doesn't mean the score is even and the two of you should just continue being together. If anything, double cheating completely undermines the trust between the two of you. What's the point of being together, you've broken each other's trust completely.

 

Like another poster has mentioned, two wrongs don't make a right. He wants nothing to do with you (hypocritical? yes...but it's the reality), you somehow still want to be with a guy who's cheated on you three times. It takes two willing participants to maintain a relationship. He's a cheater and a hypocrite. Girl, time to move on

[smileymilei]

Girl, time to move on

 

Move on to what. I wont find better.

 

He is wonderful. He works a good job. He buys me whatever I want. He picks me up from school so I dont have to walk home. I know he has made mistakes but everyone does when they are young. I made a mistake too.

[Faith13/2]

I agree with that but when you are young mistakes happen. I was understanding when he made mistakes and he has totally disowned me now that I have made a mistake. It is very unfair.

 

 

 

I am very committed. I stayed even though he cheated 3 times, thats how committed I am. And I made a mistake, I understand that, but why can't he just be as understanding as I was.

 

I am young(23) I would absolutely never consider cheating on my fiance, and I would hope v.v.. Whether you're committed or not means nothing, he wants nothing to do with you because of what you did, yes he's being a hypocrite. I think it's for the best though, I hope he stays gone so you can move on and find BETTER. Saying things like you won't find better than him, just shows how dependent you've become on having this relationship. Find some self worth and realize he's no good for you.

 

@East_Coaster LOL!