Other girl still obsessed with my bf?

[chamo]

A year ago my boyfriend started talking on Facebook with this girl in his class. I was pretty uncomfortable because they would talk all the time and I strongly suspected that she liked him but he always told me that there was nothing and that he didn't like her more than a friend. A couple months later I find out that she kissed him on the lips, twice. I confronted him and he stopped talking with her since, but they are still friends on FB. I found out that she had a Twitter so I thought I'd look. In July I saw one that had my bf's full initials with a <3 next to it. I told him about it and he agreed to tell her about me (she was under the impression that he was single). Today I look again and it's full of tacky, mushy garbage several tweets long about how much she thinks about him, blah blah blah. It made me want to puke. Even though she didn't say his name, it was pretty obvious it was about him. But here's the thing...they haven't talked since November, so almost a year now and she's STILL completely obsessed with him. I felt more than ever to just tell her the truth myself because it's obvious that he hasn't yet (I guess he's afraid of hurting her feelings or something), but I haven't because I don't want to get in trouble with him for 'causing drama' or whatever. I don't think they've been in contact because she mentions how 'difficult it is' without him in the past months, but it was completely nauseating. How do I deal with this?

[ExpatInItaly]

A year ago my boyfriend started talking on Facebook with this girl in his class. I was pretty uncomfortable because they would talk all the time and I strongly suspected that she liked him but he always told me that there was nothing and that he didn't like her more than a friend. A couple months later I find out that she kissed him on the lips, twice. I confronted him and he stopped talking with her since, but they are still friends on FB. I found out that she had a Twitter so I thought I'd look. In July I saw one that had my bf's full initials with a <3 next to it. I told him about it and he agreed to tell her about me (she was under the impression that he was single). Today I look again and it's full of tacky, mushy garbage several tweets long about how much she thinks about him, blah blah blah. It made me want to puke. Even though she didn't say his name, it was pretty obvious it was about him. But here's the thing...they haven't talked since November, so almost a year now and she's STILL completely obsessed with him. I felt more than ever to just tell her the truth myself because it's obvious that he hasn't yet (I guess he's afraid of hurting her feelings or something), but I haven't because I don't want to get in trouble with him for 'causing drama' or whatever. I don't think they've been in contact because she mentions how 'difficult it is' without him in the past months, but it was completely nauseating. How do I deal with this?

 

And what about YOUR feelings? He gave her the impression he was single because...? Why the heck are you ok with him hiding you?

 

By the way, I would't believe him when he says they haven't been in contact since November. If she doesn't know about you, why would he have any reason to stop communicating with her? Sorry OP, but I really think he's pulling a fast one on you.

[nescafe1982]

The issue is not with this other woman, it's with your BF and his lack of boundaries and/or desire to cheat on you.

 

Like Expat, I doubt he's being straight with you about his contact with the other woman. If she's kissed him (which never should have even happened, btw... a guy with the proper boundaries would get nowhere close to there with someone else) he should not only stop talking to her, she should be deleted from his life entirely. What you've written communicates to me that not only has he NOT done this... he's actually putting her feelings ahead of yours. Nope, this is not over... and it's not right.

 

He's up to no good. Dump him, heal yourself, and move on to someone better.

[chamo]

And what about YOUR feelings? He gave her the impression he was single because...? Why the heck are you ok with him hiding you?

 

By the way, I would't believe him when he says they haven't been in contact since November. If she doesn't know about you, why would he have any reason to stop communicating with her? Sorry OP, but I really think he's pulling a fast one on you.

 

I don't really like to explain because it sounds unbelievable and it makes me look like a naive idiot which gets me judged harshly, but the reason he hasn't told her about me (or to any of his classmate friends that year) is because he's ashamed of his age. He is about 6 years their senior and he doesn't want people to know that he entered school so late. Hold on, I know how this sounds but I believe it's the truth. Whenever a classmate finds out about his age, he asks them not to tell... I can't make anyone believe this, but it is what it is.

 

Anyway, I'm definitely not ok with this. I've asked him several times to tell her but I feel like he's putting it off, mostly due to conflict avoidance, being afraid she will become 'scorned' and tell everyone, or at the very most he is 'saving' her as a rebound if we break up or something, not because he's doing anything with her. About a week ago I asked him again to tell her and he just said he will do it soon. I told him I also wanted him to unfriend her on FB (they don't talk anymore beyond sporadic greetings, so what's the problem?) but he didn't seem pleased and said I was being controlling even though I think I'm perfectly fine in requesting that. How can I approach him without him getting defensive or dismissive? However I honestly believe now that they aren't in contact because her recent messages strongly imply that she wants to talk with him again but she cannot and has not been able to for months.

 

The reason that I have not broken up or tried a kind of separation is that I feel that I've invested so much on this relationship. I even moved to his country to live with him and applied for a job there (which is troublesome for a foreigner). That said, it would be difficult because if we ended it, that's the end since I live so far away and in a different country. I guess what I just want is advice on how to approach him properly so he understands that this is necessary for my emotional well-being. I believe what he says because he's always been (mostly) honest with me and since he usually just goes to school and comes back afterward, so I don't think he's going out to be with her (they're no longer in the same class/year).

[The Way I Am]

I don't really like to explain because it sounds unbelievable and it makes me look like a naive idiot which gets me judged harshly, but the reason he hasn't told her about me (or to any of his classmate friends that year) is because he's ashamed of his age. He is about 6 years their senior and he doesn't want people to know that he entered school so late. Hold on, I know how this sounds but I believe it's the truth. Whenever a classmate finds out about his age, he asks them not to tell... I can't make anyone believe this, but it is what it is.

 

Ummm... what? He can't tell anyone he has a girlfriend because he's ashamed of his age? How would knowing he has a girlfriend give away that he's 6 years older. Because she might tell??

 

Sorry, but yeah, that fact that you buy that makes you seem naive.

 

Edit: In any case, even if revealing he has a gf gave away his age, he's putting keeping his age secret a priority above you. To me, that hardly seems like something worth disrespecting your SO's feelings over.

Edited September 13, 2013 by The Way I Am

[nescafe1982]

I'm sorry, Chamo, but there is only one reason a man keeps his girlfriend a secret.

 

No one is judging you here (in the reply posts I read), but it looks very bad from where I'm sitting. You need to take off the blinders and start asking why he really doesn't want his friends to know about you. Because a man who is really in love proclaims it to the world.

 

Nope, it just doesn't add up.

 

Edit to add: as for your questions about how to get him to do the right thing: unfortunately, you can't make him delete her from his life, stop talking to her, or tell her about you. That's all on him. The only thing you can do is decide whether to be with a man who is this shady.

Edited September 13, 2013 by nescafe1982

[chamo]

Ummm... what? He can't tell anyone he has a girlfriend because he's ashamed of his age? How would knowing he has a girlfriend give away that he's 6 years older. Because she might tell??

 

Sorry, but yeah, that fact that you buy that makes you seem naive.

 

Edit: In any case, even if revealing he has a gf gave away his age, he's putting keeping his age secret a priority above you. To me, that hardly seems like something worth disrespecting your SO's feelings over.

 

Sorry for not explaining, but he says the fact that we live together would be an indicator of his age when most of his classmates live alone or with family. And I realize that he doesn't need to tell her that we live together, which I think is suspicious unless he is THAT paranoid. Also, agreed. I told him that he could've just said that I lived elsewhere but he didn't want to go through with it while they were still talking. He never admitted it but I couldn't help but think he at least liked the attention and didn't want to ruin it, despite him once saying 'oh, I wish I could tell her about you because she's really nice and I think you'd like her.' Whatever.

[pteromom]

Sorry for not explaining, but he says the fact that we live together would be an indicator of his age when most of his classmates live alone or with family. And I realize that he doesn't need to tell her that we live together, which I think is suspicious unless he is THAT paranoid. Also, agreed. I told him that he could've just said that I lived elsewhere but he didn't want to go through with it while they were still talking. He never admitted it but I couldn't help but think he at least liked the attention and didn't want to ruin it, despite him once saying 'oh, I wish I could tell her about you because she's really nice and I think you'd like her.' Whatever.

 

His excuse is laughable. Even if he was 18, he could live with a girl or on his own. And telling this girl he has a girlfriend doesn't give anything away anyway.

 

Not that wanting to keep your age from your classmates makes any sense in the first place.

 

It's time for him to man up. If he wants to keep you, he needs to open up about your relationship. But a picture of the 2 of you on his Facebook & Twitter. Put his status as "in a relationship" with you.

 

If he refuses after over a year of dating, well... there's some reason he's refusing and it has nothing to do with his age.

 

My guess... he's seeing this other girl, which explains her mooning over him on her Twitter.

[ExpatInItaly]

Sorry for not explaining, but he says the fact that we live together would be an indicator of his age when most of his classmates live alone or with family. And I realize that he doesn't need to tell her that we live together, which I think is suspicious unless he is THAT paranoid. Also, agreed. I told him that he could've just said that I lived elsewhere but he didn't want to go through with it while they were still talking. He never admitted it but I couldn't help but think he at least liked the attention and didn't want to ruin it, despite him once saying 'oh, I wish I could tell her about you because she's really nice and I think you'd like her.' Whatever.

 

Oh, girl...do you think? This is the same girl that your boyfriend kissed not once, but twice? I feel confident saying that his age secret is NOT the reason he hides you. He can tell her about you whenever he wants but he's chosen not to do so, and they've known each other quite a while. I'd do it my damn self and then kick his shady butt to the curb. She has a right to know that her crush is a liar, too.

[ExpatInItaly]

His excuse is laughable. Even if he was 18, he could live with a girl or on his own. And telling this girl he has a girlfriend doesn't give anything away anyway.

 

Not that wanting to keep your age from your classmates makes any sense in the first place.

 

It's time for him to man up. If he wants to keep you, he needs to open up about your relationship. But a picture of the 2 of you on his Facebook & Twitter. Put his status as "in a relationship" with you.

 

If he refuses after over a year of dating, well... there's some reason he's refusing and it has nothing to do with his age.

 

My guess... he's seeing this other girl, which explains her mooning over him on her Twitter.

 

Exactly. I think you've hit the nail right on the head.

[The Way I Am]

Sorry for not explaining, but he says the fact that we live together would be an indicator of his age when most of his classmates live alone or with family. And I realize that he doesn't need to tell her that we live together, which I think is suspicious unless he is THAT paranoid. Also, agreed. I told him that he could've just said that I lived elsewhere but he didn't want to go through with it while they were still talking.

 

Ok. So you already realize that him telling people he has a girlfriend isn't going to give away his age. 1. (as you pointed out) He doesn't have to tell anyone you live together to tell them he has a girlfriend. 2. (as pteromom pointed out) Even living with his gf doesn't give away his age, because he could be 18 and living with his gf.

 

You've got your suspicions that his excuse is flimsy, and pretty much everyone here can confirm that it is. It just doesn't make any sense. You should feel like a dope for buying that, but the good news is that you don't have to continue being a dope.

 

He never admitted it but I couldn't help but think he at least liked the attention and didn't want to ruin it, despite him once saying 'oh, I wish I could tell her about you because she's really nice and I think you'd like her.' Whatever.

 

Yes he likes the attention. At best, he's keeping his options open. You two are living together. He should be past that.

 

He may not be having sex with this girl (yet), but the fact that he's kissed her twice puts this past just liking the attention.

 

All that you can really do is tell him what he's doing is not acceptable. Tell him that he needs to stop talking to this girl and tell her and others that he has a girlfriend. That's not an unreasonable request. Those are very small, basic things to ask for in a relationship. If he can't give you that, you should dump him and look for someone who will.

[chamo]

He may not be having sex with this girl (yet), but the fact that he's kissed her twice puts this past just liking the attention.

 

About that: He put emphasis that SHE kissed HIM (very quickly) and that it was not mutual, as in she stole both kisses from him. Told me that after the first time, he was 'stunned' and didn't do anything (though not in so many words) and the second time, he pulled away. I don't think he is lying because I saw in their conversation on his iPod when I snooped that she apologized for kissing him. But because of this, he says he did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't be so angry with him, despite telling him several times prior how uncomfortable I was that they were always talking and asking if she liked him more than a friend. I strongly feel like this could've been prevented and that's why I'm so pissed off.

Edited September 13, 2013 by chamo

[pteromom]

About that: He put emphasis that SHE kissed HIM (very quickly) and that it was not mutual, as in she stole both kisses from him. Told me that after the first time, he was 'stunned' and didn't do anything (though not in so many words) and the second time, he pulled away. I don't think he is lying because I saw in their conversation on his iPod when I snooped that she apologized for kissing him. But because of this, he says he did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't be so angry with him, despite telling him several times prior how uncomfortable I was that they were always talking and asking if she liked him more than a friend. I strongly feel like this could've been prevented and that's why I'm so pissed off.

 

Yeah, even if his story is true,

 

1 - he had to be doing SOMETHING to encourage her to kiss him. Girls just don't go up and kiss guys who aren't sending them signals.

 

2 - if she kissed him once and he didn't want her doing it, he would not have put himself in the situation for her to do it again.

 

3 - he may have done nothing wrong as far as not kissing her back, but he's doing something wrong by not drawing a line for her and telling her he has a girlfriend.

 

It all comes back to this: If he hasn't done anything wrong, he should have nothing to hide, and it is time to be open about his relationship with you if he wants to keep it. Settle for nothing less.

[The Way I Am]

But because of this, he says he did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't be so angry with him, despite telling him several times prior how uncomfortable I was that they were always talking and asking if she liked him more than a friend.

 

That bolded part indicates that he DID do something wrong. You told him you were uncomfortable with his interaction with her. But instead of respecting you and putting the brakes on, he continued speaking to her in a way that gave him the impression that a kiss was appropriate and welcomed.

 

Then even after the first kiss, he still didn't set a boundary with her and put himself in a position to allow it to happen again.

 

I strongly feel like this could've been prevented and that's why I'm so pissed off.

 

And you're right. You should be pissed, because it could have been prevented. He just didn't do anything to prevent it.

[ExpatInItaly]

About that: He put emphasis that SHE kissed HIM (very quickly) and that it was not mutual, as in she stole both kisses from him. Told me that after the first time, he was 'stunned' and didn't do anything (though not in so many words) and the second time, he pulled away. I don't think he is lying because I saw in their conversation on his iPod when I snooped that she apologized for kissing him. But because of this, he says he did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't be so angry with him, despite telling him several times prior how uncomfortable I was that they were always talking and asking if she liked him more than a friend. I strongly feel like this could've been prevented and that's why I'm so pissed off.

 

...says the man who PRETENDS YOU DON'T EXIST. B*tch, please. (That's to your boyfriend, not you)

 

He has no leg to stand on. YOU have every right to be angry. He puts on a front that he is single, then gets mad at you when you call him out on kissing another girl. Do you really not understand how insane this is, or how much he's manipulated you?

[Leigh 87]

Look, this is definitely NOT the guy who is going to fall in love with you and get married to you.

 

True love, when a man falls in love with a woman, evokes certain reactions from the men.

 

- Men will stop acting "single" when they are in love. They will mention their partner often times enough for those interacting with him to get he message.

 

- Once in love, men will put their partner first and cut out any female friends who are inappropriate, since their love is worth more than any female "friend".

 

On a side note: by ex was a douche who saw hookers a few times whilst with me! Yet EVEN HE cut out his BEST FRIEND because she was an evil cow to me.

 

.......................................................

 

This guy probably likes you and cares about you one a shallow level, to the level which he cares about a common friend, however; he is NOT deeply in love with you and never will be.

 

When a man falls in love, he tends to NOT act like this.. He will not bother maintaining any contact with a silly girl who writes crap about him on her twitter.

 

What sort of guy is your bf? Because I would question that, if my ex had some juvenile girl posting crap about him on social media:sick:

Who does that? Posting your feelings about a guy or girl in the manner in which THIS girl is doing, is quiet frankly a MAJOR turn off:sick:

 

I would not be caught dead dating a man who wrote all about his relationship dramas on facebook or twitter. Yuck:sick:

 

Please dump him and let him free to pursue other immature girls who write all about their love lives on social media. You should do better for yourself and, in turn, attract better quality men.

 

You sound very young. At least I HOPE you are young.

 

You have a lot of time to select quality guys.

 

Remember: a decent guy will ALWAYS make it known that he is not available for other women to pursue (when he is in a relationship)

[Leigh 87]

Let me tell you a few things you should ALWAYS feel when a guy is in love with you:

 

- he will just MAKE it known that he is in love with you. He will hug you, kiss you, and make YOU his first priority

 

- he will be happy to see you when he gets home for the day, and he will, without question, put YOU ahead of ANOTHER GIRL!

 

- he will NOT make you doubt his love for you, and he will NOT have girls trying to kiss him. A guy who is in love will absolutely NOT go emitting enough signals to those around him, that he is FREE and AVAILABLE.

 

- when a man is really in love, and a girl tries to kiss him, he would politely pull back, say "no thanks, I have a girlfriend who I love like crazy, please don't do this again and I don't want anything further to do with you"

 

Please, PLEASE read what everyone is saying.

 

I KNOW it is easy for men to SAY they love you.

 

It is EASY for your boyfriend to make you think that he must love you, since he is living with you, kisses and cuddles you and generally does a few things that guys tend to do in relationships.

 

Remember; JUST because your boyfriend is doing a few things that he is supposed to do in a relationship, you CANNOT ignore the things he is doing wrong.

 

There is literally no chance that this guy is deeply in love with you, because men who are in love DO NOT ever do the things that your boyfriend is doing!

When a guy is in love with you, he will absolutely NOT do this to you, ever!

Please work towards leaving him, as he never WILL fall in love with you; men KNOW they are falling in love within a mere 1 to 3 months.. they know they are falling in love and they ACT accordingly.

 

You should wait for a guy who does fall in love with you, before you get serious with them!

 

You should demand that a guy actually loves you before investing in a relationship!

 

You deserve better than this guy, who is just enjoying his time with you but who does not want to marry you and will never fall in love with you.

 

Every good person deserves to find love.

 

It is really sad that you cannot see the truth. I understand that you want to keep your boyfriend. But you are holding onto him with the false hope that he will, somehow, fall in love with you enough to NOT want to do the things he is currently doing.

 

I can promise you: if he truly did not want to be hiding you from his friends and classmates, HE WOULDNT DO IT.

[wavejumper]

you have been given some spot on advice/observations- this guy sounds like a tool. I will only add that I ended up marrying a man like that and it never got any better, quite the contrary. I can safely say that after 15+ years of living with this type of behavior/manipulations that nearly killed me, I finally ended it, and I now have my sanity and dignity back. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to not have that drama in my life anymore.

 

Please don't waste your life on this loser, it will kill your self esteem and make you question what you KNOW to be right and wrong behavior. You are too good for that and you probably have more important and better things to be doing with your mind and life.

Edited September 16, 2013 by wavejumper

[nomadic_butterfly]

He is bold face lying! Sorry darling. He clearly has issues with being honest and respecting other people's feelings. It is not your place to talk to this chick at all unless you know for sure she knew you two were together and didn't care (which doesn't seem like the case); even then, HE IS IN THE RELATIONSHIP not HER therefore it is up to him to right the wrongs.

 

Sorry but he is two timing the both of you and it sounds like you didn't let him earn his way back into your life; you find out about the lies and deception and just take him back. Never a wise thing to do; people need to set boundaries to gain respect. He feels he can continue lying (obviously to the both of you) because you let him. Take responsibility for your enabling. It's easier said than done but you need to move on to someone who is loyal, faithful, and honest instead of clinging to someones not into you as much as he is into himself.

 

You need to stop being so vile and judgmental towards her. I bet they most likely did more than kissing. He has definitely seen her since November his is absolutely lying. No sane person puts all that stuff on their social media pages for a non-existent relationship. If he is also on her IG and FB it means he is seeing this too and clearly he would not want to have any form of contact with her if she is some psychopath clinging to something that doesn't exist. He would also tell her to take it down. It's only logical.

 

 

 

A year ago my boyfriend started talking on Facebook with this girl in his class. I was pretty uncomfortable because they would talk all the time and I strongly suspected that she liked him but he always told me that there was nothing and that he didn't like her more than a friend. A couple months later I find out that she kissed him on the lips, twice. I confronted him and he stopped talking with her since, but they are still friends on FB. I found out that she had a Twitter so I thought I'd look. In July I saw one that had my bf's full initials with a <3 next to it. I told him about it and he agreed to tell her about me (she was under the impression that he was single). Today I look again and it's full of tacky, mushy garbage several tweets long about how much she thinks about him, blah blah blah. It made me want to puke. Even though she didn't say his name, it was pretty obvious it was about him. But here's the thing...they haven't talked since November, so almost a year now and she's STILL completely obsessed with him. I felt more than ever to just tell her the truth myself because it's obvious that he hasn't yet (I guess he's afraid of hurting her feelings or something), but I haven't because I don't want to get in trouble with him for 'causing drama' or whatever. I don't think they've been in contact because she mentions how 'difficult it is' without him in the past months, but it was completely nauseating. How do I deal with this?

[emva07]

1. there is only one reason people deny relationships PERIOD.

 

2. she is not "obsessed" with him. He has made her believe there is something between them. A girl doesn't post those sort of things of a man she thought was just her friend.

 

The fact that you posted this in cheating, flirting, jealousy shows that you KNOW in the back of your mind what's really going on but you WANT to believe him because it's more convenient.

 

Sidenote: I've been in this exact situation when i was 22....now i'm 26....except she knew he was with me....just didn't care. I begged, cried, pleaded him to stop talking to her. He always said he would so I'd go back to believing....weeks later I'd find more txts, back to him promising no more, so on and son on. This went on for a year and a half (stupid 22 year old in retrospect).

and let me tell you, how much I LOVED getting a call from her one day bragging to me how stupid I was to not see that she had been ****ing my man for over a year under my nose.

 

His excuse for never cutting her off? He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Sound familiar?

 

We can all sit here and tell you the obvious(notice how we all say the same thing) but you will not want to believe it, the lesson sticks best when you live through it.

 

You live and learn.

[veggirl]

Since he's so paranoid about his age just tell him if he doesn't make your relationship public you'll tell everyone how old he is what a TOOL. or better yet you could just dump him and let this other chick deal with his bulls.hit. ugh he is so disrespecting you and you are actually DEFENDING it.

[LonelyInsomniac]

About that: He put emphasis that SHE kissed HIM (very quickly) and that it was not mutual, as in she stole both kisses from him. Told me that after the first time, he was 'stunned' and didn't do anything (though not in so many words) and the second time, he pulled away. I don't think he is lying because I saw in their conversation on his iPod when I snooped that she apologized for kissing him. But because of this, he says he did nothing wrong and that I shouldn't be so angry with him, despite telling him several times prior how uncomfortable I was that they were always talking and asking if she liked him more than a friend. I strongly feel like this could've been prevented and that's why I'm so pissed off.

 

Dude. Unless you're in a war and fraternizing with the enemy, the first words out of your mouth are "I have a girlfriend".

 

I had an ex who would do this kind of ****. She'd let a guy masturbate in front of her - hadn't even told him about me because "the relationship is too new" even though she expected me to be exclusive - and made me into the bad guy because I was "being mean" and she didn't want to "hurt" his feelings. Because nothing feels better than being a taken girl's side show, right?

 

You're not a priority. He knows he's got you over a barrel.

 

And you know what? It's really ****ed up what he's doing to you. He sounds like the kind of sleezebag that would order a Russian bride so he could take advantage of their desperation. Because that's what he's doing to you: taking advantage.

 

My suggestion is at the very least to move out under your minimal terms (IE threat to your relationship informed and gone) are met. If you can't afford a place, try couch surfing. It's a program where people let travelers stay as guests at their homes - it can tide you over while you look for something more permanent.

 

Also, with my ex fiance... she never broke things off with her last fiance. I had to talk to him. I had to break the news. He was grateful for it, and I know I would have been grateful for it if someone had told me that she'd started at it again with a new sucker.

 

Anyone who says it's not your place to inform the other person in danger (no, seriously: I could have gotten herpes, or worse - she had) is a coward and enabler.

[nomadic_butterfly]

OMG I went through the SAME EXACT THING when I was 18!! The loser cheated on me on my BIRTHDAY TOO!!! I had to dump him on my birthday. Bad enough he drunk dialed me not once but TWICE and he called me two other girls' names he had met at the club that wasn't even the ex's name either! She would call him incessantly when she knew we were together and even got my parents' business numbers out of his phone too! One time I picked up and cussed her out and she had nothing to say.

 

Then when she found out I had dumped him she wrote me a lengthy email to brag of their rendezvous and mind you both she and he were 10 years my senior! What losers! He told me the same lies too. Oh he would stop and then he would then start again. I saw the emails and I saw the late night calls on the phone bills but I thought gee if I just loved him enough. Then he'd starve himself and call my mom crying every time I dumped him (weekly) making me feel guilty.

 

Get out now while you can girl!! He will continue to BS you and he doesn't want to change and you cannot love him enough or be understanding enough to make him! It's his choice!

 

 

1. there is only one reason people deny relationships PERIOD.

 

2. she is not "obsessed" with him. He has made her believe there is something between them. A girl doesn't post those sort of things of a man she thought was just her friend.

 

The fact that you posted this in cheating, flirting, jealousy shows that you KNOW in the back of your mind what's really going on but you WANT to believe him because it's more convenient.

 

Sidenote: I've been in this exact situation when i was 22....now i'm 26....except she knew he was with me....just didn't care. I begged, cried, pleaded him to stop talking to her. He always said he would so I'd go back to believing....weeks later I'd find more txts, back to him promising no more, so on and son on. This went on for a year and a half (stupid 22 year old in retrospect).

and let me tell you, how much I LOVED getting a call from her one day bragging to me how stupid I was to not see that she had been ****ing my man for over a year under my nose.

 

His excuse for never cutting her off? He didn't want to hurt her feelings. Sound familiar?

 

We can all sit here and tell you the obvious(notice how we all say the same thing) but you will not want to believe it, the lesson sticks best when you live through it.

 

You live and learn.

[crederer]

Uh, he kissed her while with you or before?

 

Plays a big difference here.

 

Also, given the circumstances he should cut contact with her but on the same note he can't help it if she likes him. He can only control his own actions.

[nomadic_butterfly]

OMG I am dying with laughter over this comment. Tell us how you really feel!!

And if your boyfriend is 6 years older than his classmates, who give's a rat's ass? As if what a bunch of 18 year old kids think about you is of ANY importance in real life. Pffft. What a joke.