help me please

[smile]

Ok so I wrote on here before that my ex was dumped by his new gf. He called me that night and we talked for an hour or so. I was pretty happy that he decided to call me.... in terms of our friendship.. mostly

 

Anyway the next three days were filled with no contact from him. I txted him once to see how his day was.. I didnt want to intrude or anything...but I got no reply. On the fourth day I was kind of a wreck.. I was worried and mad that he didnt even answer back my txt. I mean really how many exgfs do you know that would sit on the phone at 3am and NOT judge you or say I told you so?Ihadnt slept much since he called.

 

So I went to bed early....around 10pm I was finally tired after 4 days. I fell asleep and at 10:30 he called me. I was so groggy I am sure I was no good company. He just called to see how I was doing. He was out of town and he was telling me stuff. I couldn't stay awake! I felt so bad. Eventually I said "you should go hang out and have fun.. I am so exhausted I am sorry. I havent slept in four days" he said "i havent been able to sleep much either.. since we had that talk about me wanting you and still dating her (fine so he beat me by a whole week .. whatever)"

 

But I had to go..so he said ok I will call you later .. I said ok have a good night and have fun! He said ok and that was that. I fell asleep feeling kinda guilty but I knew he was with friends and I couldnt stay awake.

 

The next day I called him after work to say I am sorry I couldnt talk I was so exhausted. So I left a msg on his voicemail and I said I hoped he was having a good time and that he was ok. I said I would talk to him later....

 

So now two days later and nothing. I mean even for a friend thats kinda crappy. I understand if he is trying to work out why he seems to want to talk to me and he wants me sexually but he doesnt want to BE with me... I mean the night we talked about him wanting me and being with her he kept saying how confused he was and how complicated it was. And dealing with being dumped. I am sure he is also thrown for a loop as to why I dont hate him and why I am being so nice to him.

 

So what do I do? Do I call again in a few days? Do I wait for him to call? Do I txt if something funny comes up? Do I try to be unavailable? Is he reaching out a bit to see what I do?

[Merin]

IMO He is taking advantage of you.

 

I swear if my EX called me to waah about a girl dumping him, I would hang the phone up.

 

But thats just me!

 

None the less.. I think you're to available to this guy. He dumps on you, blows you off, calls you late at night (which IMO if you're not 100% sure the person you're calling will be up is just rude!) and when he doesn't need you to support him, listen to him cry about some other girl, or fix his problems he disappears.

 

This wouldn't be acceptable to you if this was one of your friends right? This isn't okay...

 

Blow him off.

[pancakepalace]

So now two days later and nothing. I mean even for a friend thats kinda crappy.

 

Don't make any mistakes about it, he is not like any other friends. Ex's never are.

 

I agree with Merin2. This is bad behaviour. You have to have dignity and draw the line somewhere. I believe this would make him respect your more and tighten up his behaviour.

 

He is like a little dog that doesn't know his limits and pees on the rug and takes a back rub on your italian divan. Puppies are happy when you give them limits and order. They need to be trained and will respect you for it.

 

Right now your exanges are not defined and he is walking all over you.

 

It is time for him to grow up. Train him babe! - into the man you imagine he should be. Then, find one who is.

 

Good luck!